teen eating issues support thread

[myrtleWilson]

Hello,
would anyone be interested in joining a thread to support each other as we support teens with eating disorders @MNHQ - I'm tagging you in as am conscious of triggering issues and wanted your ok/ground rules to such a thread..

Happy to share our story with DD if others would feel it is helpful...

A maelstrom of a few days here...

Friday, observations okay (200g loss) but good family session. Felt we were making some small positive steps... that was my first mistake.

We're often primed for Friday to be a difficult afternoon but Friday - Sunday have surpassed themselves.

In some positive news DD has eaten a bit better - still not to plan but over the weekend she managed to eat 1/4 of a small potato - the first time in months and she was managing more protein and snacks.

Then the anorexia hit back big time - hair pulling and scratching progressed to banging her head off her bedroom wall and complete stonewalling last night and refusal on snacks so far today

I cried and cried last night and again this morning, just not sure how we can navigate a path out this. Feeling angry, lost, desperate and sad.

Oh myrtle it's the most horrendous disease, that sounds unbelievably stressful.

I thought we were doing okay as well and then found ystds snack stashed down the side of the sofa 😕

I'm so sorry the illness has such a strong hold of your dd at the moment Myrtle One of the truly cruel things about it is those flashes of hope that turn out to be false

I hope you'll get some grounds for real hope very soon

A decent weight gain for dd this week after last week's backward step - surprisingly, as she had been so resistant to evening snacks and puddings for most of the week

Also, had a phone call from the Guidance leader at dd school to discuss what's happening and how best to support dd when she returns full time

She sounded very experienced and knowledgeable, so I'm reassured that they will know how to negotiate lunch and snack breaks - I'm going to call her back later in the week, once we've had family therapy and know if they recommend the full time return

Hi guys,
Sorry to hear you’re dd is struggling Myrtle. It’s a vile disease.
My dd is no better and we finally have an appointment with the ED team this morning. Her weight is still under 40kg and she thinks I’m being dramatic and there’s nothing wrong with her.
Just wondering if anyone else’s DC watch YouTube videos of people eating excessively? Mine does, it’s so weird but she says it makes her feel better?
Hoping we get somewhere this morning anyway.
Stay strong mamas

Good luck at the appointment Bella it's really common for people in a state of starvation to become obsessed with food, so they will watch food programmes, bake, google recipes etc.

Dd has a weight check Ystd and has lost a small amount 0.2kg. I wasn't too worried as she's been back at school a couple of weeks so it could have been worse. She absolutely hates the weigh ins though and gets really stressed about it 😕

Annoyingly her Camhs zoom session was cancelled this morning which was annoying as I think she'd have benefited from it. Plus still not heard from the psychiatrist we were promised over a month ago 🙁

Dd is constantly baking and watching youtube recipes too - in the past it was painting techniques, but they have been completely superseded

The day she goes back to watching her art youtubes, I'll know she's better tbh

Good luck with your dd bella and I hope your dd's weight loss is just the result of expending energy in school Girliefriend

We were still not quite there with the weight target for full time school - in the past, dd has been furious and tearful when told this but she wasn't this time, although still desperate to return

We didn't have the whole 'but I'm FINE, there's nothing WRONG with me' spiel I wonder if this is a good sign

Thanks, we’re being admitted for re-feeding. Not surprised thanks to you guys preparing me. Thanks. Dd is scared and anxious and a bit shocked as she was so sure I was over-reacting.
I’m pleased they’re giving her the help she needs now.

Everything crossed that this will get your dd on the right track bella

Yeah I thought that would be the case Bella, your dd will probably be in shock that the reality she's been convincing herself is real, really really isn't actual reality!

I would see admission as a positive first step in recovery. What were her obs doing?

I read somewhere that the ED/anorexia actually rewires the brain so that the sufferer truly does believe they're right even when everyone else is telling them they're not!! There's a medical term for it which I've forgotten now.

I told dd that and I could see that it did actually make sense to her on some level.

Oh Day, it’s so exhausting. My patience and sympathy wears thin eventually too. Hopefully at the hospital they’ll give some advice.

Day one and she’s seeing the dietician and fuming because they’re going to make her eat. We’re starting with corn flakes this morning. Wish us luck!

Bella - good luck in hospital. I don't know how your DD is but mine managed to hide food/supplement in hospital - none of the nursing staff noticed (nor did we) but it is, apparently, possible - just so you know!

Very up & down here - no more head banging but still some hair pulling. But more generally, a flat mood. The ED consultant rang yesterday and is calling back to do a mood survey with DD which will inform the next case review session next Friday.

Girlie - sorry you found the stash, theyseeher - fingers crossed it is a positive sign regarding DD's response to school news.

Day - am so sorry to hear of decline, your DD and mine seem to be on a similar pattern. Have the ED team said to call them if a certain level of refusal happens? As an aside I may steal "10 fifths of bugger all" - its great!

Oh God Day that doesn't sound good, could you talk to dds GP and ask to get her bloods checked? She might be anemic or her vitamin D could be really low, both of those would make her feel awful.

Oh @DayB1Day that must be so worrying. My main issue so far is they seem very keen to feed them up but less keen on treating the causes and mental side of it. I worry that they feed them up, let them out and it’s just a vicious cycle unless they treat the mind.
Dd has had an ok day in that she’s eaten more than she ever would at home but still nowhere near what she has to according to the meal plan. Refused dinner and won’t drink the stuff they give them either. But she had an apple, half a bowl of cornflakes and a sandwich which is progress.
She’s noticed some other girls on the ward who she says are way skinnier and prettier than her there are a few of them getting treatment at the moment which is sad.

Bella the trouble is you can't deal with the mental stuff until they're weight restored and quite often the mental stuff resolves once they've regained the weight.

Anorexia is very much seen as a neurological condition caused by malnutrition, the brain literally shrinks. There's a good programme on YouTube about brain biochemistry and anorexia which helped me understand it.

The focus will be on getting food into her.

That's great she's eaten she's more today, hopefully they'll have ways of stopping any competition between patients.

At therapy the other day we were told that dd needs to be back to about 90% of target weight before she will be able to think in a 'non-anorexic' manner again (she is currently 84%)

I'm guessing, if dc are in school, that they are in that area between 85% and 90% where they are 'ok' to go to school, but the brain is still malnourished so they are completely vulnerable to the anorexic thinking

It's a real conundrum - they need to put weight on to think straight, but they need to be thinking straight to put the weight on

I agree with girlie that until they have cognitive ability (through nutrition) they will always be in the grip of the anorexia. That said, we did pinball around hospital because of the lack of therapeutic input.

We appear to be really fortunate with our ED team. We rang them this week to update on the deterioration and since then the consultant has called and tonight the eating support team member has called to arrange a chat in the morning with DD. But it is still enormously difficult.

Day unfortunately my experience is that you will need to be cajoling DD at each meal for the foreseeable future. Our experience is that Dd after she has declared she is 'done' with a meal or snack has to go through a cycle of 'resistance, anger, tears' then she'll eat/drink something (but not usually everything). The anorexia takes over at anger and it is really distressing. Recently the anorexia has introduced a new strategy which is stonewalling instead of resistance - the problem for us there is it seems like DD has to get to anger stage and stonewalling holds that off... We calculated at the moment it takes DD about 6 hours to eat her 3 meals/3 snacks (some of that time is her eating vvvv slowly because the anorexia tells her she's greedy if she eats quickly and the rest is cajoling)

Re GCSEs - what have school said about where she's at? Can she do 1/2 this year 1/2 next? We've reached the conclusion that DD won't do her A-levels this year, which is shit but actually gives her the best chance of recovery and in 10/15/20 years time it won't matter a jot when she took her a-levels.

theyseeher - how did your team define DD's target weight?

I wouldn't worry about GCSEs now day your dd needs to be well first and foremost. I think they need to be weight restored and eating regularly for some time to allow the brain and body to recover, it sounds like your dd is a way off that yet.

My dd watched I'm a celebrity tonight and joked she would love it in there with all the food restrictions!! It was good that she could laugh at the ED and is beginning to recognise that that thinking is perhaps not normal. It was also interesting how all of the participants want to talk and think about food all of the time, they've only been restricting a week!!

My dd is 90% ish I think they but I never really understood the percentage calculation! Her bmi would be around 18 I think now.