Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention; if you think your problem could be acute, do so immediately. Even qualified doctors can't diagnose over the internet, so do bear that in mind when seeking or giving advice. If you need to talk to someone in confidence, please contact Beat, the UK’s eating disorder charity.
Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention; if you think your problem could be acute, do so immediately. Even qualified doctors can't diagnose over the internet, so do bear that in mind when seeking or giving advice. If you need to talk to someone in confidence, please contact Beat, the UK’s eating disorder charity.
Eating disorders
If you had to choose between being slim and eating disordered, or "recovered" but chubby
BamburyFuriou3 · 01/10/2017 13:17
Which would you choose?
I can maintain a BMI of 20-21 (and look good) but it's a constant fight against my old anorexia /bulimia and it's hard to stop losing weight. Constantly hungry, feel cold, numb toes, obsessional thoughts etc.
Or my weight stabilises at about a BMI of 24, with no eating disorder thoughts etc. But I'm chubby, and clothes size 14/16 with a waist of 30 inches.
I was stable and "recovered" for a decade, but try and lose weight and the eating disorders just come flooding back. But I hate being fat. And not particularly healthy either.
AtleastitsnotMonday · 01/10/2017 13:26
There was is no choice for me, I'm so bogged down in my ed that I can't even contemplate being 'chubby'. It's weird because I think I would do anything to rid myself of the ed but at the end of the day I know that would involve weight gain and I just can't face that.
AtleastitsnotMonday · 01/10/2017 13:27
Should add, I've no idea what bmi I would need to be to rid myself of the disordered thinking.
ScruffyLookingNerfHerder · 01/10/2017 13:29
I don't have any experience of this, but I'd say being healthy (physically and mentally) ought to be the priority - BMI and dress size don't really mean that much on their own.
Can you get to something approaching "healthy" through other means than dietary control?
MOIST · 01/10/2017 13:32
I'd go for thin. Which tells me my eating is still disordered. Despite now being healthier but fat.
Caulkheadupnorf · 01/10/2017 13:32
Being recovered.
I was ill with an ED for 17 years. Being recovered is better. It's taken a lot of therapy for me to be able to say that but it's so worth it. It's not always easy, but it's so so much better.
ShakeTheDisease · 01/10/2017 13:33
I haven't had an eating disorder, but I have had anaemia that was so bad I lost my appetite completely (very unlike me) and lost a lot of weight. I went past the point of looking good. Friend told me I looked gaunt. I would rather be slightly over my ideal weight than look, or feel, like that.
Partyfops · 01/10/2017 13:37
Ironically you skinnies all sound miserable and obsessed. My BMI is about 30 and I'm so much happier in myself than you lot sound.
Chubby isn't that bad I promise.
specialsubject · 01/10/2017 13:39
That's not chubby, it is normal. Clothes sizes are irrelevant, and if you arent short you need a bigger size.
Please seek urgent mental health help.
mayhew · 01/10/2017 13:40
BMI 24 is not chubby. And a 30" waist is a 12 in most ranges. If you can stabilise at 24, that's a great (and healthy) place to be.
DumbledoresApprentice · 01/10/2017 13:40
I mean this kindly, OP. I think this thread is a mistake. You'll get a lot of responses telling you that a healthy BMI of 24 and recovered is far preferable to skinny and disordered. You will also get responses from lots of people who suffer from or have suffered from EDs for whom being thin would always take priority. If you're heading for a relapse then neither set of responses are likely to be very helpful to you. Your mental health matters too, keeping your BMI down at 20-21 sounds like it is bad for you mentally and physically from the way you describe it.
Newyearnewbrain · 01/10/2017 13:44
Dumnledore has it and I say that as someone in pretty much the same position as you.
StevesFlappyCap · 01/10/2017 13:45
Ironically you skinnies all sound miserable and obsessed. My BMI is about 30 and I'm so much happier in myself than you lot sound.
Chubby isn't that bad I promise.
Ok then. Not sure what you mean by skinnies but having a bmi of 20/21 am not miserable or obsessed at all. But then not prone to weight-shaming either.
You go girl.
Off to watch Wall-E.
WhyDidIEatThat · 01/10/2017 13:45
I have to remember when a BMI of 20 was like morbid obesity, and how the thinner I became the more intolerably fat I felt so psychologically the lower my BMI the chubbier I was. The numbers are a red herring.
Josiah · 01/10/2017 13:46
Slim is healthy, chubby and fat isn't.
Eating healthy so you maintain a healthy size and do not fluctuate in weight is the way to maintain a healthy metabolism. Yo yo weightloss and weight gain is probably more unhealthy than being permanently overweight.
Denying foods, binge eating, starving, making yourself vomit up food are not healthy.
If you struggle with weight, portion control is what you need to get under control and then try swapping unhealthy foods for healthy ones.
Gingernaut · 01/10/2017 13:46
Recovered and at a stable weight.
It's far healthier to remain at a stable weight than to keep yo-yo dieting.
Also, survival rates for fat people after major operations are greater than for thin people. Bonus.
Even River Island have a plus sized section now.
I found this out after going into RI after getting down to a size 14
WorraLiberty · 01/10/2017 13:47
Surely this thread is just going to attract people with eating disorders, saying they'd choose to be slim?
MN is a bit of a magnet lately for encouraging and even congratulating disordered eating.
StevesFlappyCap · 01/10/2017 13:48
That wasn't targeted at you op at all. Hope you find a balance that you're happy with.
AbsentmindedWoman · 01/10/2017 13:50
I choose recovered times a million!
BMI of 24 is healthy, and it is not fat.
Please get some help now, and nip it in the bud. Remember a lapse is not a relapse - that goes for obsessive thoughts about weight as well as behaviours.
I would never in a billion years want to go back to the place where I'm obsessed and panicky about food and weight.
Yesyesyesyeswhatever · 01/10/2017 13:51
I'm mostly recovered now, but have a BMI of 25 ish. I'm built to be this size. Tallish and sturdy, but dislike it. Hope to lose some weight to get back to my size 12/14 clothes, but it always becomes obsessional. I've had ED for too long to ever completely recover or embrace my natural body. Catch 22. :/
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