Overeaters Anonymous - anyone anonymously out there want to share?!

[Italiangreyhound]

Dear anyone

A few weeks ago I started attending Overeaters Anonymous. If you do not not know these meetings they are free (donations are taken to cover costs) there is no membership and no requirement except that people have a desire to stop compulsively overeating, there is a book which people can buy and follow, which helps people in a 12 step programme. It is all new to me and I felt I needed some support from people who are also using the OA 12 steps.

This is their UK website www.oagb.org.uk/

I have struggled with my eating for a very long time and had tried a lot of other things.

I am a firm believer in finding good support in good places and this is a place I have found support. I have got the 12 steps book and am getting started. The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous

Would anyone like to share thoughts specifically around the Overeaters Anonymous (OA) way?

Like the meetings maybe we can keep from specific references to food or food descriptions and just talk about how we are feeling about our eating and how we are doing and anything else that is relevant to us, how things are going etc, please?

I am a newbie so hope someone more experienced will jump on in.

If anyone who has not been to an OA meeting wants to join in and hear more they can.

Welcome one and all, I know that threads come and go but I will try and check often and if you want to join us, please do.

Exhausted I am sure it will come, if you preserver. Can I ask, please, are you reading the 12 steps book and have you started the 12 steps yet?

I have and am seeing a real improvement in my attitude to food.

I wish you the very best.

I've read them but not reading them regularly - should I? Maybe that's what's missing?

Will read now x

Exhausted the book is twelve steps and traditions of overeaters anonymous [[http://www.amazon.co.uk/Twelve-Steps-Traditions-Overeaters/dp/0960989862/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1415060447&sr=1-3&keywords=12+steps+12+traditions&tag=mumsnet]]. I think it is useful to work through the book.

Well that was a pretty bodged link!

The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous

Feeling so positive.

OA tonight and really looking forward to it.

Special dinner first! So unusual, in my diet club days would never have eaten before a meeting! So very different.

So I am doing well.

I am even managing not to drink so much tea and coffee. I realised I was drinking tea automatically! Making it whenever I saw the kettle. I bought a latte and left the last bit today. I never ever do that normally. I would always feel I needed to finish it even when it was stone cold and I was not enjoying it any more!

Waiting for the honeymoon to end!

The honeymoon becomes a marriage! Eventually your new eating patterns will become part of your life, just as newlyweds settle into married life. It's not that we won't always struggle with overeating, it's just that you will have the tools and determination to NOT overeat.

Exhausted, the thing about OA is that it isn't a diet per se. It's an addiction treatment. It focuses on helping you to change the pattern of overeating, the same way AA helps an alcoholic not to drink. Once you get a handle on why you overeat and how to recognize your triggers and manage them, then is when you are able to find a plan that will help you to lose.

Nothing is a miracle cure. It's all about learning and changing.

Accrossthepond do I need to get a sponsor? How long before I should get a sponsor and how to choose/find one?

Today's meeting was great.

Oopse, thanks Accrossthepond, for all your kind comments.

If you feel you want or need the added support, talk to people at your meetings. Get to know people and see if there is someone there who you feel a connection with and who you feel has been successful in the program. Ask that person to be your sponsor. Or speak to a meeting leader and ask them about getting a sponsor.

You don't have to have a sponsor, but it can be helpful if you need some extra support or someone you can call if you feel you are tempted to go back to old habits.

Thanks Across. Very helpful as ever.

Some sad news, I am diabetic, it is official. I feel very sad and angry with myself but realise I have a disease! It is not my fault. I am now getting the help I need and it is all changing so I can reverse this. And I am so motivated to do that.

I am very thankful I found OA and because of going to the meeting reconnected with my counsellor. Both these things are so helpful. I almost feel this diagnosis, terrifying as it is, is a third thing that will help me to change my eating forever and live the rest of my life not at the mercy of this OCD induced overeating!

The thread at www.mumsnet.com/Talk/eating_disorders/2216929-Binge-Eating-Disorder-Support is also providing me with valuable support.

Thanks for reading, anyone who is!

Well, it's certainly not the best news, but definitely something that you can live with. Hopefully it will be able to be controlled with diet and/or oral medication.

It really is fortuitous that you had already decided to start your journey to a healthier you! This is just another reason to continue it.

Thanks Across, I am resolute. But I am still mad at myself for making my body like this!

Don't get mad. That's a self-defeating behaviour. You are where you are now. You've begun your journey and will end up in a better, healthier place. That's what to focus on!

Thinking of you Italian - well done for taking the news so constructively. It's not your fault. Went to my first OA meeting last night and one of the things I got from it was that compulsive eating is a disease itself, we don't have control. But through OA we can get into recovery.

Sorry to hear your news Italian, but looks like you're taking it in your stride. You've already made such big steps to change things too!

Hi everyone, what a great thread!

Italian thanks for setting this up. Glad things are generally going well with you and OA.

I have been involved with OA for a few months and it has helped a great deal. I have only been to one face to face meeting because of childcare, but I made a contact and we speak on the phone every week - like a buddy. She really helps me a lot. Everytime we speak another penny drops!

I also attend online meetings when I can, which are on the website. Really great though text is slow to come up.

I found a sponsor via the www.oa12step4coes.org/ (online meetings there too). She is based in the UK too though we haven't met. She believes in doing the steps fairly fast which I quite like, though this is totally different to the face to face people I met. I am about to start Step 3.

Everyone's Plan of Eating is different. For me I have to stay away from 'alcoholic foods' anything that I cannot control myself around. For me that is anything with sugar, gluten or cocoa. I learned this slowly - dropping sugar at first. Bread then became a problem so I cut that out. However, not everyone does this - my sponsor eats everything in moderation and uses the same tools I do to do this.

The tools - journaling, calling people, texting people, meetings, reflection, reading literature are great. I tend to text and journal the most because that fits in with my lifestyle.

I have on my Kindle the OA literature Just For Today, Abstinence (my fave), the 12 Steps and 12 Traditions and the AA Big Book. I read these when I can to keep me going.

Also these are good free resources:
www.oabigbook.info/ (Lawrie - his OA reading of the AA Big Book)

(same guy) www.oalaig.org/speakers-podcasts/oa-speakers.html (podcasts of people's stories)

Finally, and sorry if this offends, but I am an atheist and so I thought OA wouldn't work for me but was desperate to stop my daily binging. I have found lots of reassurance on this from my buddy, my sponsor. The Lawrie resources above touch on this too - though I am still reading those.

D'oh I only read the first page by mistake. Sorry to hear about your diabetes Italian I think OA is a great place to help you deal with the ramifications and to get well.

Violetbean thanks, so much. Hope the first meeting went well.

Exhausted thanks so much.

Rollermum thanks so much for all the great ideas. Of course I will not be offended if people are atheists. i am glad to hear that OA can still meet needs for people.

I must give the online a go, can you say more about how it works, please?

Well, sorry to say i fell off the wagon tonight. Just one food type and one meal but still feel upset. All the old classics, finishing up my son's food, finishing up my daughter's food and having seconds too! It was savoury and was a main meal so not toally 'wasted' food but too much, more than I needed probably. Just feel cross I could not stop!

Sorry to hear you had a slip. Do you have a sponsor to call when you feel that is about to happen? The idea of having to do that with mine has been enough to stop me so far, but I know people rely on it. Even texting can be good just to tell someone.

I completely get what you mean about finishing off kids food - so easily done.

On the online meetings. All explained here: www.oa12step4coes.org/meetings.html

I found the technology a bit difficult, possibly because I was using a Mac. In the end I downloaded an app onto my phone. PCs might be fine, but either way they have good instructions.

Meetings are at the times listed so need to convert to GMT. The meeting leader has a theme and posts a bit of a piece to think about and people share one at a time. They are quite clear and organised. Not everyone shares. They are an hour and don't overrun. The only annoying think is as you wait for people to type it can feel a bit stilted, but still useful. Normally about 15 people in the ones I've been to.

For sponsors you can just email and ask for the list: Online Sponsorship: [email protected]

Have pm'd you, italian

Thanks Across today was better. I ate a nice normal breakfast and lunch, three lots of fruit and a normal dinner. A bit of snacking tonight but I knew i was getting full and stopped and another bit of fruit. When you fall off the wagon it is scary, you wonder if all the control you felt before was an illusion, but I knew tonight it was not. I can get the control back. The more you are able to exercise that control the easier it becomes, IMHO.

Feeling so much better tonight. Thanks.

I'm glad. It's always a good thing to remember that when we fall off the wagon, the wagon stops right there and waits for us to get back on!

Hope you have a good week!

Across Love it! It's always a good thing to remember that when we fall off the wagon, the wagon stops right there and waits for us to get back on!

One more day until OA and feeling positive. Not doing too badly at the moment.

So, I am being more open at telling friends I have diabetes and I have an eating disorder. I know it is not required, of me to tell people, but for me it feels right. Anyone have any experience of telling people and wishing you had not (about issues related to eating/health), thanks?