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Overeaters Anonymous - anyone anonymously out there want to share?!

107 replies

Italiangreyhound · 04/11/2014 00:22

Dear anyone

A few weeks ago I started attending Overeaters Anonymous. If you do not not know these meetings they are free (donations are taken to cover costs) there is no membership and no requirement except that people have a desire to stop compulsively overeating, there is a book which people can buy and follow, which helps people in a 12 step programme. It is all new to me and I felt I needed some support from people who are also using the OA 12 steps.

This is their UK website www.oagb.org.uk/

I have struggled with my eating for a very long time and had tried a lot of other things.

I am a firm believer in finding good support in good places and this is a place I have found support. I have got the 12 steps book and am getting started. The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous

Would anyone like to share thoughts specifically around the Overeaters Anonymous (OA) way?

Like the meetings maybe we can keep from specific references to food or food descriptions and just talk about how we are feeling about our eating and how we are doing and anything else that is relevant to us, how things are going etc, please?

I am a newbie so hope someone more experienced will jump on in.

If anyone who has not been to an OA meeting wants to join in and hear more they can.

Welcome one and all, I know that threads come and go but I will try and check often and if you want to join us, please do. Grin

OP posts:
Gumnast2014 · 29/11/2014 20:40

It's the 12 step workbook of OA.

It's amazing.

What are you guys doing

Gumnast2014 · 29/11/2014 20:43

To find a sponser I just found someone who's abstinence I admired, who was working he programme. Then I asked her (cringe alert!) but worth it

Italiangreyhound · 30/11/2014 13:11

Gunmast thanks, our group is very small and not many are sponsors. I may find one on line.

I am pretty obsessive! I wish I could work out how not to be!

I had OCD as a teenager and young 20 something!

I find myself staying up late, it's often 2.00 or 3.00 or even 4.00 am before I go to bed. I feel this is part of my compulsiveness! I also notice I get fixated on things! I can only eat limited 'dessert type' things since I was diagnosed with diabetes, one of the things is sugar free jelly. In the last few weeks I have bought about 30 sugar free jellies in pots, but only eaten about 10 so there are about 20 sugar free jellies in pots in my cupboard! This feels obsessive! How do I stop?

Any tips from anyone who understands compulsiveness or obsessiveness, please?

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Rollermum · 01/12/2014 14:19

Hey Italian I will PM you the details of how I found an online sponsor as it involves an email address.

On the compulsiveness I don't have any experiences I imagine the 12 steps will likely help as you address food issues? There may also be 12 step association especially for compulsions?

I am struggling today as I had less than three hours sleep (baby is teething) and it's also TOM so suddenly sugar is calling me. I have abstained from sugar for 68 days so I am not about to have any (in fact I don't have anything in that might cause an issue). I feel like my body is screaming for energy...

Gumnast2014 · 02/12/2014 07:37

Hi everyone how's it going?

Went my Meeting last night it was a workshop on Christmas and the difficulties that may entail. People shared their experiences to support everyone. It was good.

Main things seemed to be celebrate the season for what it is, family friends, religion not the food and to stay connected and grateful!!

Much love everyobe

Italiangreyhound · 02/12/2014 11:49

Rollermum i hope you have found a safe way to get energy. Now I am diabetic I fear sugar! I used to fear artificial sweeteners! now even letting my son have sugar free jelly, as he wants that and prefer it. The dietician said artificial sweetener is safe.

Rollermum, please can I ask, what is and it's also TOM?

Gumnas fantastic, workshop, can you say more about it, please?

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Gumnast2014 · 02/12/2014 17:24

Hey,

We were given a sheet with all the days in December and room to write 5 gratitudes

Another sheet with trigger people and situations and we as a meeting discussed ideas on how to manage them.

Difficult people - advised to stay away if possible. If not try to be as of much service to them as possible. Be kind loving and giving and keep your side of the street clean.

Various difficult situations. Buffets- people discussed filling your plate with non trigger food. Visit the buffet once and use it as part of your planned meals

Plan all your meals every day don't have a day off and commit to your sponser.

Stay in contact with your higher power.

Self care look after yourself, treat yourself as the amazing gorgeous women you are.

Read the literature

T
Reach out

It was very helpful.

Hope your all well

Italiangreyhound · 03/12/2014 02:15

Gumnast that is so great, thank you.

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Rollermum · 03/12/2014 19:05

Italian TOM is time of the month. I sometimes get mega cravings before my period.

Gumnast that sounds really useful, thanks for sharing.

Italiangreyhound · 03/12/2014 22:24

Oh thanks Rollermum.

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Rollermum · 07/12/2014 14:58

Hey everyone,

How are you all getting on? I'm suddenly feeling very meh again in reaction to sleep deprivation and work / money issues. Food is calling. I'm working the tools though.

I had a couple of drinks a few days ago - I think that affects my mood quite negatively for awhile.

SoleSource · 09/12/2014 13:06

I went to OA meeting and found the members insecure and snotty. One Woman had lost twelve stones but was a bit off with me and when it came to my turn of reading the chapter in the book they were sniggering at my Birmingham accent. I didn't go back.

Rollermum · 09/12/2014 18:58

Hey *S

Rollermum · 09/12/2014 19:01

Damn. Hey SoleSource that's a real shame, sorry that happened to you. All the OA people I've encountered have been nice. Also no one should act superior - everyone 'in the rooms' is meant to be equal no matter what stage they are at.

If you are still interested in OA you could try online meetings? I posted info up thread.

Italiangreyhound · 10/12/2014 01:56

Hey ladies been absent for a week, not sure why! The last two days have gone very badly so maybe being absent was not a good idea.

Missed OA last week, first time in two months. May explain the bad week. Saw counsellor in person, which was lovely.

Hi SoleSource that sounds horrible. Sorry if you felt that you were treated badly. I wish you could come to one like our group, the ladies are lovely. Please do try another, they really are not all like that.

Rollermum how are you doing? Good luck with tools, please tell me which ones you use.

Acrosthepond how are you?

Off to bed, feeling cross with myself as I am pigging out on crips, savoury crackers, nuts and the odd date too.

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Rollermum · 10/12/2014 14:15

Hi Italian I am holding in there but it is pretty rough - sleep has been all time worst ever! Damn molars I think.

The tools I use most are: journaling (love this), texting and emailing my sponsor, going over OA sayings / prayers in my mind, especially 'Just for today I will not...' and the serenity prayer.

Other tools: Reading OA literature, phone calls to sponsor or buddies. Any I've missed? I'm not sure if meetings are a tool.

Italiangreyhound · 10/12/2014 17:08

Fab, thank you.

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Italiangreyhound · 17/12/2014 15:59

Not such a good day yesterday! today a little better. Having a cold and a sick cat doesn't help!

How is anyone else?

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Deerhound · 18/12/2014 18:54

Hello all. I've been thinking about trying OA for a while but I'm a but confused... I thought that AA, NA, etc were all about the abstinence model... But how does this work with food?! It's not like you can give it up.. And even abstaining from overeating anything ever again seems a big ask (even people with a "normal" relationship with food stuff themselves occasionally). Am I over thinking this? Any advice would be greatly appreciated... Thanks

Italiangreyhound · 20/12/2014 00:50

Deerhound welcome. I hope one of the more experienced posters will explain this more.

There is a 55p leaflet on Abstinence at Abstinence

My understanding is that you commit to avoiding overeating, and some people do commit to avoiding certain trigger foods.

According to dear Auntie Wickepdia...

"Abstinence in OA

“Abstinence in Overeaters Anonymous is the action of refraining from compulsive eating and compulsive food behaviors while working towards or maintaining a healthy body weight.” [10] This concept of abstinence has been criticized for its lack of specificity. While in AA abstinence means not drinking alcohol, some argue that it is not possible to set out specific foods, because OA's experience is that different people have different food triggers (i.e. foods and food behaviors that cause them to eat compulsively). While it is often said that alcoholics don't have to drink, but compulsive eaters still have to eat, Overeaters Anonymous responds by pointing out that alcoholics do have to drink, but cannot drink alcohol, just as compulsive eaters do have to eat, but cannot eat foods which cause compulsive eating.[11]

OA literature specifically defines "compulsion" as follows: "By definition, 'compulsion' means 'an impulse or feeling of being irresistibly driven toward the performance of some irrational action.'"[12] Therefore, "compulsive eating" and "compulsive food behaviors" (as those terms are used in OA's definition of abstinence) means irrational eating, or irrational food behaviors, taken as a result of an impulse or feeling that feels irresistible. So, according to Overeaters Anonymous, "abstinence" is the act of refraining from "compulsive eating" and "compulsive food behaviors," while working towards or maintaining a healthy body weight. While this definition can fairly be described as nuanced and subject to personal interpretation (e.g., the definition of a "healthy body weight"), or requiring self-searching analysis (e.g., to determine the drivers of certain behaviors), it is not unspecific.

The objective of OA's definition of abstinence is that the compulsive eater refrain not from eating, but rather, from compulsive eating and compulsive food behaviors, and work towards or maintain a healthy body weight. Thus, OA calls for the compulsive eater to define his or her own plan of eating which enables the compulsive eater to abstain from compulsive eating and compulsive food behaviors, while working towards or maintaining a healthy body weight.

The program suggests that members identify the foods that "trigger" overeating. Since individuals are responsible to define their own plan of eating, they are able to change their plan of eating if their needs and understanding of their compulsions change, without that change constituting a breach of abstinence. Members are encouraged to seek counsel with other individuals, generally including a member or members of the OA fellowship, and, most importantly, with their "higher power," before making such changes, to validate that the reasons are sound and not unwittingly a decision based on underlying compulsion.[11]"
wikipedia

OP posts:
eatyouwithaspoon · 20/12/2014 11:21

Hi all No time to read st the moment so marking place, need to do somethingpositive

Italiangreyhound · 20/12/2014 13:26

Hi eatyouwithaspoon welcome.

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eatyouwithaspoon · 21/12/2014 11:05

Hi Italian and everyone else, thank you for the welcome. I have read through and will read the entire thread again and order the book. I have been to see my gp and asked for help and was referred to a dietician who I waiting ages to see didnt give me much real advice then never bothered to follow up even though she said there would be reviews. In the uk there seems so little help for overeaters. I will also check for local meeting but I live in a rueral area so not holding out much hope so will check out the online group I certainley could associate with their welcome page! I am also atheist so so I hope thats not an issue. I need to take control, I am teetering on the edge of diabetes and I have very painful hips so need to act now, glad I found you!

Italiangreyhound · 26/12/2014 00:45

Hi eatyouwithaspoon how was Christmas.

Your GP should be able to give advice on healthy eating and you should be able to find specific advice for diabetes if you are worried about this. but if you have a contact with a dietician please be persistent and go back to the dietician for more advice.

Some people like to have a set plan and follow it, some do not.

OA do a leaflet called dignity of choice for about 75p which may help but if you are potentially diabetic you really need the definite specific advice for your possible/future medical condition IMHO.

If you choose the eating plan (in as much as you can choose what you have) then there is much more chance you will stick to it.

If your dietician is failing you, please make a list of questions and situations you need resolved e.g. how to plan a healthy meal/weekly menu etc etc and what to eat a lot of and what to avoid, etc etc. When you meet dietician again go prepared to get the help you need, IMHO.

You may be surprised that in your area there is a meeting if you are willing to drive to it. I go for about a 30 minute drive each way for a one-hour meeting. So it is a two hour commitment each week. It is worth it. But if that is not possible on line sounds fine. Or a mix of both, go to a physical meeting if you can once a month and on line rest of time?

Good luck.

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Italiangreyhound · 26/12/2014 00:46

Physical as opposed to on line!!

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