Just posting here for anyone who might find it in future. When I was doing IVF and lurking in groups and forums for mothers (or fertility) over 40, IVF, etc., I saw loads of women popping up shellshocked that they were told their best chances were with donor egg. I tried one egg retrieval age 40 and only got 1 egg which failed to develop to embryo. A lot was going on at the time and we were new to IVF, I didn’t do my due diligence to research AMH and other hormones or understand what mine were. The clinic told me I was “fine” but they recommended IVF due to very low sperm. I think now that they said that to get us to do IVF because it was nearly 10k (they wanted the money no different than an car salesman making a sale)and egg donation is more costly with waiting lists in the UK (i.e. suggesting it is offputting and they lose the sale). Anyway, took us a few years to pay that off and when we went again (this time to Prague), we went straight to donor egg because by now I was 44 and we didn’t want to walk away with no baby and a load of debt.
Now I’ve had my baby. She’s two months old. And just incase anyone is on the fence and wondering, I couldn’t be happier. I had no trouble bonding with her. I love her with all my heart. She’s 100% my baby.
I’m posting this because there needs to be more awareness for women over 40 trying to get pregnant. Yes, some women get naturally pregnant. Yes some women get lucky with ivf. But they fail to tell us in the media and we are all made to think that IVF is for older women trying to get pregnant. It’s not. It’s for younger women having fertility problems. Your odds of success over 40 are very low and even lower over 42. They also don’t tell us that freezing eggs doesn’t always help because eggs aren’t as robust as embryos and many don’t survive thawing. We are all made to think “I’ll just do IVF when I’m older.” Not realizing IVF can’t overcome low ovarian reserve and old eggs.
My advice would be try for your own eggs as many times as you can afford, or depending on how old you are and how long you want to be at it. You could get lucky first or third try. But if you don’t have the money to go over and over again, wrap your mind around donor eggs.
Brace yourself for all the “why don’t you just adopt” comments by people who don’t understand how limited adoption is now compared to the 1960s or even the 90s or early 2000s. It’s not anything like it was. But that’s another story!
Also, it’s a much better experience in Europe than UK. Look into how donors can now change their mind and demand all your remaining embryos be destroyed in the UK before you do any donor conception here in UK! You get more choice in America than Europe but it costs quadruple the amount. Prague was wonderful.