Pollentree as a single woman

[CKoRn]

I've made an account on there and I messaged a lot of guys who are willing to donate (mostly who want no interaction with the resulting child).

I've had a few hits, and one seems promising.
Anyone on here with experience of using this site? I'm nervous about it but as a woman with autism it's very hard for me to find and have romantic relationships.
I know many ladies on here are anti sperm donor (from what I've read anyway) but I don't think everyones' situation is the same...

Hope to hear of peoples' experiences!

Just be very careful, with any of those sites, about avoiding any man who might want to try “natural insemination”. Some men with that intent will be upfront about it and others will slide into it or be euphemistic. Be doubly cautious because of the autism. I’m quite literal myself (also aspie) and it’s the kind of thing I have to triple check to avoid trouble.

If in doubt, save up and use a clinic.

Good luck.

I am fortunate that my step mother is supporting me through this, and she's been helping me do it and reply to any messages. She will also be with me as a chaperone with any meetings, so I think I am safe in that respect. I guess I'm more worried about after any potential conception; some men can't remain detached even if they say they can initially. I've read horror stories with regards to the potential legal entanglements involved.

Thank you for your message.

Friends used - and were very pleased with - this lawyer, who also has a lot of online information (they were a same sex couple);

www.ngalaw.co.uk/knowledge-centre/known-donation-and-co-parenting-uk-law

Ultimately though it’s why we (DH had MFI) chose to go with a clinic. Precedent might have evolved since then. I don’t know. I hope you find a way through you’re happy with.

I know many ladies on here are anti sperm donor (from what I've read anyway) but I don't think everyones' situation is the same...

I don't think every situation is the same but women who share concerns around donor sperm do tend to be thinking do the child and the woman involved. Children who are donor conceived by anonymous donors that aren't registered with HFEA don't have the benefits of background checks, hereditary/chromosome/disease checks and there is no way of knowing how many siblings they will have or knowing who their father is, and know half of who they are.

(I've heard of men saying all checks were done, including STD checks, and showing some faked documents as not only did the woman not get pregnant but she contracted an STD that affects fertility.)

It will be possible for you to leave the birth certificate blank as an unknown, but will you consider maintaining some kind of relationship with the father so any future child would have the option of finding him in the future? Children who are donor conceived can experience emotional and well-being issues around not knowing their roots, some do, some don't, there really is no way of knowing.

Legal advice would be a very good idea, so you know what parental rights a donor has if not registered as an anonymous donor.

There is the personal safety aspect as has been mentioned so it's good you have considered that. There was a thread on this board I think about a man who stalked a woman who met him for that reason.

I would also be careful of prolific donors

Seen '4 Men 175 Babies: The UK's Super Sperm Donors'? Watch it here on All 4:

https://www.channel4.com/programmes/4-men-175-babies-the-uks-super-sperm-donors?cntsrc=socialshareeios44men1755babiestheeukssuperrspermdonors

And this

podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/venus-rising/id1481872967?i=1000504426235