I’ve let my friends down badly

[thefishthatcouldwish]

So due to being on this hell on Earth journey to IVF. I have neglected my oldest friends.

All have had babies or been on exciting journeys and I have felt totally and utterly out of it.

I have had panic attacks when we have been due to meet as they were bringing babies to things.

One of my friends had ivf for her baby. I’m so pleased for her but haven’t seen him yet.

I have to reach out. I feel awful

Aww it is hard when they have babies and that’s all you want for yourself. I have huge respect for anyone who goes through IVF, I couldn’t do it. And it must be really upsetting if for whatever reason it doesn’t work. Have you had a few rounds or thinking of doing another? X

I am sorry that you’re having such a difficult time ❤️

Please do not worry about this. The friends that matter won’t mind, and the friends that do mind don’t matter.

I lost a lot of ‘friends’ during my journey and, although I was devastated at the time, now I can see that those friendships were only skin deep.

It may help to explain why you’ve been a bit absent if they aren’t aware, but don’t feel pressured into seeing them or disclosing more detail than you feel happy with, particularly with small children around. True friends will understand this and will be happy to arrange childcare so they can see you without this added element - it might just take them a little while to arrange!

On the flip side, after I finally got my BFP that stuck, a very good friend of mine cut off all contact with me without warning or explanation. But you know what? I totally understand as she is going through her own journey. And when/if she is able to restart the friendship I will welcome her with open arms and no anger - I am sure your friends feel the same!

Give yourself a break 🙂 If the tables were turned I am sure you would understand, so why wouldn’t they?