TTC through Donor IUI or Donor IVF - weight loss spin-off thread

[witchmountain]

A few of us on the donor IUI/IVF thread have got some weight to lose, and rather than bore everyone else we thought we'd set up a spin-off thread. So, if you're doing or contemplating donor IUI/IVF and also have some weight to lose, join us here, newbies welcome.

I guess we do introductions/goals? I'll start, but obviously share whatever you prefer in your intro.

I'm witch, froze some embryos last year with donor sperm which are waiting for me to save up enough to fund a career change post baby. I'm fortunate in that I don't have loads and loads of weight to lose, but enough that I could so with some supportive friends to do it with.

I don't really like the idea of dieting per se, I think my aim is more around establishing a healthier relationship with food. I read Fat is a Feminist Issue years ago and I probably need to re-read it again now - it's about women's relationship with food. I'd recommend it, or a much condensed book by the same author, Susie Orbach, called On Eating.

My weight has fluctuated over the years, but the band it's fluctuating within is only trending in one direction. This is almost the heaviest I've ever been, I'm too fat for my fat clothes, and my thighs are getting in the way of each other. In BMI terms I'm a little way into the overweight category, but I carry it all on my stomach so I'm quite a way over the recommended maximum waist measurement. I have been offered a seat on the tube and on one occasion asked if it was my first baby

The numbers aren't the be all and end all - for me that point is that I am at this weight because I don't prioritise sleep and activity and compensate with carbs and caffeine! And for some other more psychological reasons which I'll get to, but this is already the longest intro in history.

I'm going to take Saturday as my starting point:
5'9"/1.75m
12st10.5lb/81kg
BMI 26.4
Waist 36"/91cm
Targets, let's see, but I'm guessing somewhere south of 11st/70kg - I'll head in that direction and see how I feel. I'll never be right at the bottom end of the BMI range, I'm broad!

Eating wise - I'm cutting back on high glycemic index carbs and trying to get some more protein in. I know I feel better and less hungry when I'm not struggling from one sugar rush then crash to the next.

Ever, your diet sounds quite varied, so I wouldn't worry too much. It sounds as though you're doing everything correctly, and losing a pound is better than putting it on! Go you! It's all going in the right direction, so don't panic.

I wouldn't eat half of what you've eaten... I'm that fussy! I do love fruit, and eat quite a lot of it, it's veg that's my downfall as I only eat broccoli, cauli, green beans and peas. Are you exercising too? I know you've told me that you swim, are you still swimming?

I'm going to reply to your pm later lovely 😘

Witch, I'm glad it makes sense, and it makes even more sense when you say about controlling it from a young age, and food being one of the only things you can control... I've never had an eating disorder (obviously, because of the size of me!) but mum/people around me in my family have questioned it because when I find a meal I like, I'll eat that meal for dinner for months and nothing else. And then get anxiety if I have to stray from it. I'll eat other stuff during the day for snacks, but another downfall of mine is only eating one meal a day (dinner)...

I have very strange and odd eating habits and don't know how to get out of them!!

Hmm @CautionHormone may I just say that I have been reading everyone's intros... no one - except me - needs to lose weight!!!! But anyway it is nice to have a dedicated thread for support!!!

Apart from the emotional attachment I have to food I am in love with food!!! It is one of my favourite subjects and I love many different cuisines - although Spanish/French/British remain my favourite I made a lovely roast chicken with apple and thyme on Saturday and next Saturday I am going to try Fideua (a pasta version of paella) (paella is one of my signature dishes)... in the week though I do not cook much and tend to go for convenience - which is part of the problem too.

Well done ever!!!

I need to lose weight too kwick - I haven't yet been in touch with my clinic (although it's probably best if I get in touch with them this week and ask the dreaded weight question) but I'm presuming I need to lose weight before treatment.
I've also been reading What to Expect: Before you're Expecting, and they're throwing the frightners on there, too, about weight, and fertility, and conceiving, and BMI, so I think it's probably best if my BMI isnt 35.4 when I TTC! I'd like it to be around 30 but that's unrealistic, so 32 will do.

It sounds like you're a really good cook, and do a lot of variety... I'd love to be able to eat a variety but physically can't

kwik the bmi is a bitch, it really is. Always hated that measure because basically if your only an inch taller you have a 10 lb or so buffer. I believe Jessica Ennis is classed as obese and that's all down to muscle. I know they have to have a threshold and it's good to aim for it and below if poss but am still reeling that if that's the issue and you ve been the same weight while having treatment, why would theychange it. Any joy with ivi or any other clinic?

caution dying to know what this repeated meal is that you dine on? Losing 0.4 of yr bmi should just be 4 lbs, that's doable by Aug my lovely. Any more is a bonus. If you lose a stone- stone and half by then it ll b more like 32,you have time. Is it a confidence thing with food, maybe if you could find 3 other dishes you might like, you could try alternating. If you lose a pound a week up till treatment you ll b well on yr way. I am swimming and walking but I think I need to try higher impact stuff now

ever yep I am still seething about that!!! Will try and contact IVI this week - lets see what they say!

Ugh. Today I ate so much sugar which has been an instant reminder of how crap I feel when it wears off!! But tomorrow is another day. I find if I can kind of think about eating well as looking after myself almost as if I was looking after another person I find it easier. Like I couldn't be bothered to look after myself but I wouldn't treat another person the same way? Fucked up!

I hear you on the BMI stuff. My ex husband (that auto corrected to extra husband which amused me) was weighed at the surgery and came out as obese and the nurse actually laughed because he so obviously wasn't, it was just all muscle. I am, however, absolutely sure that it is not excess muscle contributing to mine!

Kwick I was actually a bit worried about being the one to start the thread when I don't have as much to lose and I haven't had it imposed as a condition by a fertility clinic. For more it's more about trying to unravel my relationship with food. Caution I've always said that I would have had an eating disorder if only I'd had the willpower for it! (I know it's a not a joking matter.) I suppose I'd describe my eating as disordered in the sense that I don't just have a straightforward relationship where I eat when I'm hungry and occasionally indulge in something extra or special - it's more compulsive than that and less obviously about satisfaction. Like sometimes I think I eat to make myself feel worse, sometimes to make myself feel better, sometimes because I feel full of good feelings and I want to stay full, sometimes because I feel empty and want to get full etc etc etc.

Ever don't knock it, a pound off is a pound off. I'm not surprised it's harder this time.

It was a long day at work yesterday so have gone the easy route of cooked chicken from M&S . Haven't weighed in after my bad werkend but hopefully not done too much damage.

Really need to get motivated to exercise. I don't know what you all think but when I get into a routine I actually really enjoy exercise just can't face the hard work in the first few weeks .

witch I hear you - My relationship with food is not great either. I have tried to figure out why (much comes from rebelling against my mum who is quite controlling when it comes to food) but at the end of the day I think rather than trying to find an explanation I just need to man up and make better food choices... traveling less will help with that (I hope) as will starting up some form of regular exercise.
I definitely do not want to lose the joy I get from eating yummy food or watching cooking programs but I want to move into a healthy weight range.

So today I have had:
Pret Porridge
Lots of decaff tea
Lentil & veg soup
Am I am having an Eat salad and sandwich for dinner... hmmm did someone say something about making better choices
May have some Kefir if it is ready

Well pre pill I lost 9 lbs, since being on the pill I am continuously VERY hungry!!! Not good 😣

Yep, at the end of the smash it comes down to what you eat! The reduced travel should help both, it's so hard to organise the right food when you're in different places all the time and it makes fitting in exercise difficult too.

Pickle I didn't mention it because it's a short term thing for you but I was on microgynon for ten years and I was basically starving for a decade. And not just quite hungry, more the kind of hunger where you start to think about chewing your own arm off. After I came off it, the subject came up in conversation with a friend who happened to be a healthcare commissioner for sexual health etc and she said it was a shame I'd never gone back and asked for something else because microgynon was known for that.

End of the smash? End of the day!

Today I had:

Insufficient sleep
Witch's patented tomato, spinach and cream cheese frittata
Colombian dulce de leche eaten straight from the knife (in my defence it was a present from a colleague)
Salad with tuna mayo and halloumi. Couldn't see anything I wanted today and went down later so was tipped into the dangerously hungry zone, no doubt exacerbated by the pure sugar I'd been eating earlier
Three delicious biscuits pilfered from a meeting room
Massive berry and yoghurt smoothie before I cycled home in an attempt to balance out my blood sugar

Yeh I was on microgynon as my first pill for around 9 years then eventually moved onto cerezette which didn't have the hunger thing(well no more than usual)
Only 23 more tablets to take :) as yes I have got to the point where when I was writing my notes at about 6 I was eyeing up my arm to eat, I even contemplated the chocolate with praline ( I don't eat nuts, they make me sick-but I was that desperate) I didn't-instead got
Home and had 2packets of crisps, 3mini individual packs of biscuits (the snack packs to help not eat like a pig 🐷-clearly didn't work!!!!) 2small bananas, then dinner of mash potato and hunters chicken 😔must try harder-mind over matter !!!!!

Please I am sure cannibalism is NOT fertility boosting!!!

I ended day off yesterday with yoghurt and Bourbon biscuits - too many - gave me acid in the night. Must find a healthy alternative to biscuits for end of day treat... any suggestions?

kwick is your preference sweet or savoury?

What about some oats yoghurt and honey?
Mixed nuts

Honestly I struggle with snacks, tend to go for things like a handful of olives and some feta cheese or some cottage cheese and ryvita.

Thanks bear... both!!! The cottage cheese thing sounds good!

Or you could have it with celery or carrot or something. Or houmous instead. Or yoghurt with a few berries. Or nut butter on toasted dark rye bread? Id go for something with protein.

Do you just want a different taste in your mouth? I do at the end of a meal sometimes and fresh mint or lemon tea works sometimes. Or a couple of squares of green and blacks mint chocolate.

Are you hungry at that point? The only time I eat after dinner is if I'm working really late (by which I mean early hours of the morning). I am sometimes a bit hungry when I go to bed but I figure I won't notice when I'm asleep.

Managed to avoid most really sugary stuff today apart from a couple of mini eggs. I did make it through an entire meeting sitting next to an io n box of chocolates. I don't even like the chocolates that much but I still wanted one. I seem to remember the sugar cravings wore off when I tried this before, so need to stick at it...

Or a glass of Kefir and some dried bananas... which result in running to the loo half an hour later?

That works too

I weighed myself this morning: I have lost 1kilo = 2 lbs!!! So I am going to continue what I have been doing, only with less Bourbon biscuits!!!

Yay! Nice one! I, on the other hand, shot back up a kilo and for the last few days have been hovering about half a kilo over where I was on Saturday. Period just appeared though so that might have something to do with it. Also last week was too much in one go so body is probably stabilising itself.

Thats great kwick seems like its working for you

I did my weighing and measuring this morning because I'm away this weekend.

Scales said 78.1 kg / 12 st 4 lb
100g since last week, not even half a pound!
2.9 kg/6lb since the start
No change in waist measurement

The weekend is basically going to consist of eating out or at other people's houses so I'm going to choose well where I can but just enjoy the rest.

I haven't lost anything in the last week but I know my diet hasn't been great so I am just happy that I haven't put on.

Yup, I think that's a result in itself!