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Donor conception

For anyone with experience of sperm or egg donation to share support and advice. Please remember this board isn’t for debate about donor conception.

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Original poster

We have our own topic!!!

100 replies

LyndaNotLinda · 11/03/2016 19:39

At last - so exciting!

I feel like I'm at a private view with 100 plastic cups of wine on the table in front of me, pacing.

Ahem - I'm a single parent to a 9 year old DS (well, 9 in a few days but that's mere detail). I'm a member of DCN too but their message boards are terribly quiet so I hope we get a bit more of a conversation going here. And that no one mentions turkey basters.

So, that's me. I know there's more of you out there

OP posts:

LauraMipsum · 23/06/2016 13:00

Hello all, dp & I are mums to a donor conceived toddler. We went to Vitanova in Denmark - they are wonderful people!

Emerald72 · 08/07/2016 21:01

Hi! Sorry for delay in replying. Grin, I'm in England but considering going to Institute Bernabeu in Alicante as that's where my Rmc consultant recommended. There's no waiting list there and heard good things.
Hi Lauramipsum! I've not heard of the Denmark clinic, what made you choose there? How are you finding or found the process?

talulahbelle · 08/07/2016 21:29

DH and I are mum and dad to a wonderful DD, nearly 2, conceived through ED in Spain. We are shortly going back for a second round to try for a sibling. I do sometimes worry about DD when she's a teen and how she will feel as she grows to adulthood, but right now she's totally my daughter and the light of my life.

Emerald72 · 14/07/2016 22:37

Hi Talulah, thanks for sharing your story. What clinic did you use and will you be taking dd back with you? Also if you don't mind me asking, would you have one or two put back? Lovely to hear she is totally yours x

goinggrey1978 · 16/07/2016 11:12

Hi everyone, I'm nearly 18 weeks now, and also a single parent by choice, as I started this journey over 5 years ago and had plenty of fertility investigations, also paid for my first ivf cycle and then my gp and solicitor fought to get me nhs funded ivf treatment and I'm incredibly lucky that I'm now pregnant and I also have 6 siblings in the freezer for another day, I'm also very lucky to have supportive family and friends also!

Emerald72 · 16/07/2016 19:20

Hi grey! Congratulations on your pregnancy! We're your family supportive of your choice to be a single parent at first? It's really great that you have supportive family and friends too. Did you use donor egg or just sperm if you don't mind me asking? And which clinic? I'm just looking into all this now.

goinggrey1978 · 16/07/2016 20:41

hi emerald72, most of family didn't know until i got to the 12 weeks stage, my dad cried and my mum was most excited that there's also a possibility of a sibling as i have 6 in the freezer, my parents have also talked about the childcare arrangements as i told them i would need help especially when i go back to work and my dad asked me lots of questions about that, including when do the free childcare vouchers kick in, luckily i work in the education section and only need childcare during term time, also looking at just working par time too!
i used donor sperm and donor eggs because unfortunately i was born with low ovarian reserve which is how i managed to get nhs funded ivf treatment
all my treatment for this cycle was at London woman's clinic in Harley street, fantastic place and i would fully recommend it there!
you need to get your LH and FSH levels checked a go can do that for you, you also need to have an AMH blood test, only available at private clinic's and costs £60 and also get your tubes checked again from a private clinic, once you have all these you will have a clear picture of your ovarian reserve and where to go next, look on the London woman's clinic website they offer talks to ladies like us and once you've been they also offer a kind of MOT health check at a discounted rate, this where i started and discovered my low egg count as well, any more questions feel free to ask!

Emerald72 · 16/07/2016 21:45

Thanks for quick reply grey! Oh wow, you did well to keep it secret till 12wks! And fab you have 6 in freezer too. Did you have one or two put in? I think you're very brave pursuing all this on your own this far. I've heard of that clinic, and really good you managed to get it funded on NHS. So it worked second time for you?
I've been seeing Mr Shehata since last August as I suffered 3mc, all bloods showed nothing wrong. Last MC was chromosome abnormal. I'm 44. I had my AMH tested last May and again this year, it's halved in a year from 1.28 to 0.7, expected for my age but very low. Shehata has now advised since its been a year since last got pg to do IVF and with donor it's 80% success rate, my own eggs 1%. So I think we are going go donor soon. We have ds naturally, he's 3. My parents find the idea abit alien I think and don't seem too keen which is making it harder for me, I wish I hadn't told them in a way! I also work for my dad which makes it worse as he now knows I'm planning to have time off next year! Argh!

Emerald72 · 16/07/2016 21:57

Has anyone found many donor support forums about? I can't seem to see many recent ones

goinggrey1978 · 16/07/2016 22:13

yes worked second time for me and was as natural as possible as well, no lining scratch or glue this time, pessaries and progynova, i'm still on the pessaries as well, i had one 5 day blastocyst put back which is the best embryo you can get, i have a 50:50 chance everytime, and next time it'll just be a frozen egg transfer so a lot less treatment needed, i'm sure that my baby won't be an only child as i'm from a big sibling group myself, reasons i decided not to tell lots of people especially my parents are that i have 2 gay brothers and one that is too young to make any decision yet, so this baby is the first grandchild and first niece or nephew for my brothers and with only a 50:50 chance i didn't want everyone to get excited and then nothing happen, its taken nearly 3 years for me to get pregnant after nearly a year of paperwork being sent to all the wrong places, only when i threatened to contact my solicitor again did i get my first appointment on christmas eve!!

Emerald72 · 16/07/2016 23:47

That's brilliant, second time success is very good. Can understand you not telling lots of people, it sounds like you've been on quite a journey. Wishing you every success with this pg.

Cally70 · 17/07/2016 21:13

Emerald - have you looked at www.fertilityfriends.co.uk ?

Emerald72 · 17/07/2016 21:57

Hi Cally, thanks for your response. I have but could only see old threads? Do you know of a more up to date one? Maybe I should start it!

Emerald72 · 17/07/2016 22:06

Just had another look and found lots! Thanks Cally x

Cally70 · 17/07/2016 22:07

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=64.0

They do mostly seem quite old. You could always start your own topic though

Emerald72 · 18/07/2016 23:44

Found lots of newer ones now, thank you! But yes good idea with new topic!

LauraMipsum · 28/07/2016 12:41

Hi Lauramipsum! I've not heard of the Denmark clinic, what made you choose there? How are you finding or found the process?

We initially went to a (cough) well known clinic in London who were forbidding, unfriendly, and super medicalised - they wanted to flush my fallopian tubes with blue dye when as far as I could tell all I needed was some sperm please.

In Denmark the whole process was welcoming, midwife-led, and seemed to be as normal as getting an optician's appointment or something. The staff there were amazing and really supportive. It felt like they were on our side rather than treating us. They also have double couches so that once the procedure is done you can snuggle for a little while rather than the Well Known London Clinic which practically boots you out the door as you're still zipping your jeans up (anecdotally).

Also, and this was just a bonus, it was significantly less of a financial hit than doing it in London would have been - even taking into account flights.

They couldn't have been more helpful and more reassuring, and we have a beautiful DD as a result.

menchos · 29/07/2016 09:38

Hi girls. Is it possible to go for ivf while single? I'm 41. Do I have chances at all?

LauraMipsum · 29/07/2016 10:08

It's possible yes, I don't think any clinics refuse to treat single women. I think the clinic we used has 45 as the cut off age, I don't know about any where else though.

menchos · 01/08/2016 07:56

What do you mean by cut off age? Won't I be able to conceive at 46? Are you talking about that? Or I just won't be able to use my own eggs?

Cally70 · 01/08/2016 18:02

You've got next to no chance conceiving with your own eggs at 46. You could probably have donor egg treatment still at that age. I think some clinics have a cut off of around 50/51

Emerald72 · 01/08/2016 22:56

My local clinic told me at 44 I'm too old to have treatment with own eggs, their cut off is 43. Made me feel very crap indeed. London clinics have a higher cut off age. Donor egg IVF I think you're ok to around 50 abroad.

menchos · 02/08/2016 07:40

Ok, thank you. Mostly it depends on a clinic. Got it.

menchos · 10/08/2016 07:51

Hi, ladies. Has anyone had any experience in Ukrainian clinics? I've been told that there are clinics where cut off is very high. But I would really appreciate any advice.

Emerald72 · 13/08/2016 16:03

Hi Menchos, no sorry I don't, but I'm sure someone will be along soon who has X

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