Meeting exh girlfriend

[Lotsand]

My ex husband has just moved in with his girlfriend and her son.

I have one little girl of 5 years old with my ex husband and from what my daughter has told me, her son is maybe 8 or 9?

My ex husband and his girlfriend have been together for around 3 years (from what I gather) but I have never met her. We had an absolutely horrific divorce and so really the option was never there because there was so much over awfulness happening.

My ex told me last week they’ve moved in together and is going to break it to our daughter soon.

I think I’m going to suggest that I should meet the girlfriend now. She’ll be living with my daughter (albeit two nights a month) but still.

Has anyone else done this and what questions did you ask the girlfriend or what was the set up?

I would suggest a 'meet and greet' type of exchange next time your DD stays over at theirs. This will, hopefully, give you assurance the new g/f isn't a 2 headed monster, but that's about it. There's not a lot else you can do. Just be vigilant of anything your DD says about her time with the new family, especially the new g/f's son. If you DD ever expresses she feels uncomfortable then listen to her. Obviously there are always going to be teething problems when you blend families but always have your DD's back.

It’s not an interview. You don’t need to meet to ask questions.

Surely there are occasions you can just meet informally, handovers or pick ups, a school play or something, just say hello and go from
there. Why does your ex only have 2 nights a month? That’s so little

He has so little visitation as he physically abused me throughout our marriage.

You really don’t need to be questioning her. A casual meet in the doorway when you do changeover is fine, in my opinion.

More importantly is making sure your daughter feels okay to talk to you about ANYTHING she feels uncomfortable with.