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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Finally, I made it.

10 replies

ImFree2doasiwant · 30/08/2026 23:37

I have posted here under several user names over the years (because exH hacked my account, I had to keep changing)

Seperated when my dc were babies. I had 2 under 2. Exh was controlling, emotionally, mentally and verbally abusive. I checked out the day he started to become physical. I spent years wondering why, and whether he was depressed , autistic etc or just an arsehole. I spent months, well no years again, trying to get him to understand why I wanted to end our marriage.

Eventually, i realised it didnt matter why, or whwther he agreed. I ended it. He moved out 9 months later.

That was 2017.

I was so relieved. But i knew divorce/house was going to be an ordeal. He promised to make it difficult and expensive. He continued his abusive behaviour by text. I didn't have the strength to even try to sort things out. Over the years I did try, multiple times, but ended up backing down.

Until now. 4 years after starting divorce proceedings, 3 court appearances, tens of thousands of pounds later. I am divorced and I own the house.

OP posts:
TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 30/08/2026 23:38

That is wonderful news!
I'm so pleased to see your update.

spinningplatez · 30/08/2026 23:59

Wonderful! What an ordeal you have been through though. How did you cope?

ImFree2doasiwant · 31/08/2026 00:24

Honestly, I don't know. Its really difficult to look back and see how controlled I was, how having to send a simple text to him would cause me such immense anxiety and stress.

His behaviour still affects me now and its almost a decade since we separated. I react badly to mistakes (as in, I panic, heart racing, nausea, tears, if I make a minor mistake, because of fear of consequalences) But I know I grow stronger every day and I have some good people around me.

OP posts:
spinningplatez · 31/08/2026 03:18

Sorry to hear but so glad you are free now, strong and surrounded by good people. You deserve every happiness ahead of you!

NullaEffugium · 31/08/2026 04:17

Well done!

PurplebudsWhitebuds · 31/08/2026 11:13

Well done OP
Onwards and upwards!
Wishing you all the best.

LaurieFairyCake · 31/08/2026 11:30

Please tell me he spent thousands too?

well done you Flowers

LadyGardenersQuestionTime · 31/08/2026 11:35

Congratulations and big hugs from another escapee (although you have had a far rougher time than I had).

You have proven yourself stronger than him.

ImFree2doasiwant · 31/08/2026 12:45

LaurieFairyCake · 31/08/2026 11:30

Please tell me he spent thousands too?

well done you Flowers

Nope. He did nothing. Refused to engage. Didn't exchange financial info. Attended court having done nothing. Was as obstructive as he could posdobly be.

I didn't have the money to spend so it was all credit cards. (Cleared by remortgage). I will be financially affected for the rest of my life. But it was worth every penny.

OP posts:
ImFree2doasiwant · 31/08/2026 12:46

@LadyGardenersQuestionTime thank you. Its a tough gig isn't it. And you are right. I wasn't always, and backed down several times but not this time.

OP posts:
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