I seperated from my husband 2 years ago after 26yrs of marriage. He was caught by my children having an affair, they told me (which has had longstanding trauma for my dd), and I asked him, he denied. I showed him the clear evidence my children had found (disgusting explicit messages between him and his woman) and told him to leave.
It was the biggest relief as he had abused me for years. Psychological, emotional, physical abuse. Id called Womens Aid twice but couldn't go through with leaving, so he really did me a favour!
In the past 2 years he has continued to throw abusive emails my way. Constant anger from him, yet I feel so calm towards him as feel so much freedom without him in my life.
We have been to court, sorted the finances out. He's exceptionally affluent, although hid alot, which i am walking away from as need freedom. The only thing left to sort is the house.
He was using this as a means to hold me tied to him. Threatening to turn up at any time etc. So I have left there too in the last few months. Just awaiting for it to sell so that I get my finances finally.
My biggest hurdle though, is how i gain the confidence I lost over the years. Im with an amazing new guy. Hes so kind, thoughtful, caring and above all protective. He is the utter opposite of my ex.
So why cant I accept when he tells me he loves me, that im the best thing to happen to him, that he will never hurt me. Why cant I just believe him? In the first few months, I was expecting him to shout, or raise his hand to me as I considered that normal. Hes so calm. But I feel so anxious constantly. I feel like Ill never be enough for him, that Ill let him down somehow and he will walk away. I am nervous that hes messaging people behind my back because thats what my ex did during his affair. Im terrified I wil ruin the one good thing that happened to me.
How do I change this??