Me and the husband have recently separated but are still living together.
I was bullied by member of his family not just once or twice but ongoing for years.
This happened many years ago and have to say husband did try and stick up for me at the time but the only way we got there in the end and made it stop was to cut contact. We didn’t talk with the family member for years.
Anyway now husband has rekindled relationship with family member, but I have been struggling, years now this has been going on but the pain it has caused is very much still there.
I spoke to hubby the other day and we both agreed to put family visits on hold until we worked out how to move forwards in our marriage. Left it at that and I took the kids out for the day yesterday afternoon, when I got back they had their dinners and we shared responsibility getting them changed and into bed.
By the time the kids were sorted it was time to cook our dinner, however Hubby then announced he needed to nip out, things had just starting to improve between us and we were talking civilly, so when he said he was just nipping out I thought he was just popping to the local shop so I went downstairs after sorting the last of the children and awaited his return so we could decide together what the plan was for our dinner.
Anyway an hour passed and he wasn’t back, so I started to worry, rang him, no answer, kept trying multiple times with time gaps in between, still nothing, eventually I messaged him, asking what was going on, where are you? I got a reply, sorry to worry you, I’m at family members house.
I was heartbroken, the fact he’d led me to believe he was just nipping out for 5-10mins then to leave me worrying like that that something bad had happened.. He wouldn’t answer his phone, dismissed my calls and eventually replied to my message after he realised how worried I was.
He came home like nothing had happened, hi, you ok? I’m like no I’ve been worried sick, he ran to family members house and told him all our problems but the person who has caused me so much pain and anxiety it had to be him didn’t it.. Why couldn’t he run somewhere else and chat with someone else, another family member for example, a friend, etc, but no it had to be him, even though we agreed for the time being to put things on hold with them due to me not coping.
Anyway I’m an absolute wreck, can’t function, hurt, heartbroken, he’s completely dismissed my feelings and done what he wants.. He is going out with friend tonight for a fun night of drinking in town and I’m sat here feeling like I don’t even want to wake up tomorrow cos what’s going to be next, we are separated so I’ve asked him not to pull until things are more settled but my requests seem to mean nothing to him which he proved by going to family members house last night.
Honestly can’t cope, I think it would be easier if he weren’t here, but he won’t leave and we both own the house. He wants us to have marriage counselling but won’t agree to help me in the meantime which isn’t exactly encouraging me.
He seeing family member again on Tuesday so it wasn’t a one off