Family members in my husband family have bullied in the past.
It went on repeatedly for years and it got that bad that we eventually we had to cut contact with them for 2-3 yrs.. I also in this time suffered a mini breakdown due to it all and needed therapy to help.
We both agreed that if there was a special family occasion that we would attend but we would keep it at just special family occasions only nothing more..
Now hubby has become all pally with the family again, no apology for the bullying!
Spoke to hubby about what we agreed previously and he replied yes it’s what you wanted not me, which isn’t true, hubby was really hurt by them too at the time.
Anyway hubby now saying it wasn’t that bad and that it was all in my head and that I need more therapy and medication.. We ended up getting into a massive argument to the point I said enough is enough let’s separate as I can’t go through anymore bullying/pain, it terrifies me!
What hurts is that hubby of 25 years has just completely dismissed my feelings.
I’ve never stopped him from seeing them, he’s an adult he can make his own choices, but it would just mean so much to me if he was to at least recognise how much they hurt they caused me but he acts like it never happened and just wants everyone to be friends which I get in some respects but sometimes too much water has passed under that bridge and I couldn’t go and feel comfortable with them.
Since I said we should separate he’s since arranged drinks with his family, but he hasn’t seen them for months then suddenly the day after we decide to separate he’s in there arranging something, kinda like a kick in the teeth tbh, I’ll be looking after the kids.