Equity split with ex-husband HELP!

[flt28]

Ex husband had affair - left marital home April 2023 (voluntary)

Agreed on paying had of mortgage only paid up until October 2023 , I could not afford this solely, i dropped hours at work as could not afford child care (1 child is disabled) (3 children). I struggled and paid mortgage up until July 2025. This has put me in huge debt. July i could no longer afford to pay, so contacted lender and said nothing could be done.

mortgage hasn’t been paid since July 2025.

house was place for sale Dec 2023 and has only just sold as he wouldn’t accept lower offers.

He has proposed:
me pay all missed payment out of my share
pay him occupation rent
have 80% Equity

could anyone give me some advice?

Thank you for this!

yes I only work 2 days as I car for my disabled son. And I do currently receive UC.

so do I reply to his offer (sent by solicitor) and just basically say I am not accepting his proposed offer?

You can respond stating you don’t accept the offer. You make put forward an alternative proposal for consideration

in the event you can’t reach agreement you’d have to

attend mediation
issue form A
request form E financial disclosures

still cant reach agreement ? Then there’s be first hearing followed by fdr followed by final hearing - with various forms submitted along the way.

the biggest challenge here is whether you believe there is hidden money and pensions

oh and assuming you’re England /wales. If not then the above won’t be correct

Ok thank you so much for your help.

We cant do mediation according to my domestic violence therapist so I’m guessing it would be straight to court?

Yes im in England. I believe there has to be money somewhere as if not there is no way of funding the life he lives.

Is he paying child maintenance? Keep in mind his solicitor is working in his clients best interest not yours and this will be reflected in any proposal. In deciding a fair split of any assets including pension (and any transferred assets for the purpose of ensuring a fair split which might then be transferred back) a court would as a priority take into account the needs of any children/dependants of the marriage. I’ve self repped in court and with support and reading guidelines and the process this can be done.
I really would advise, ensuring you have all the financial and other facts written down to at having an appointment with a divorce solicitor.

Editing to add form E includes submitting bank statements where you could request to take back more than one year. It’s very thorough in having to include expenses and income

There is not much equity left ...is around 30k
arrears at 12k

So 18k.
Are you goingvto rent and claim uc? You dont want >16k in your account
Better get ongoing maintenance paid monthly

Op, of the 12k arrears, have you taken into account all interest and additional costs from your lender and got a final figure of what’s owed?

If dv then you can get an exception to not have to do mediation

if the company is as i suggest there won’t be assets to transfer back . If it’s not then perhaps.

form e requires him to declare all his assets - note people can and do lie on there often with little to no recourse - but it is the document which can used to raise further questions and scrutiny about finances