I’ve written a few threads about my difficult seperation from my husband. To summarise, after a few years of difficulty in our marriage, my husband started EMDR therapy for childhood SA. It completely unravelled him and after enduring months of his ups and downs, supporting his eventual breakdown and his growing dysfunction and disregulation (including aggression and trauma to our DS (5 and 9), I fled the home. He eventually relented and moved out but not before he made a suicide attempt (circumstances of which puts his job in complete jeopardy).
This weekend I took my sons away, and again, I am getting calls as he has been threatening suicide again. His family are useless and still expect me to intervene. My neighbour has said she has seen him hanging around our house, and my solicitor has written to him.
The thing i am finding the hardest is managing my children’s emotions around this. They have been through a lot but despite this, love their father. He is obviously very flawed and troubled but they love him and has been an attentive and committed father until recently. Despite my attempts to facilitate, my ex isn’t commiting to seeing them which has hugely surprised me. One of things I was worried about was that he would really fight me for custody and I would have a hard time proving how unwell he was. Obviously a lot has happened since and this is no longer the case but this complete opposite approach has floored me.
I have 2 broken hearted boys. My older one is verbal with his sadness and distress, and I have him in therapy. My younger one is harder to read but cried himself to sleep a couple of nights ago. I don’t know how to manage their upset, whilst I am also trying to manage my anxiety, my ex’s unpredictability, run a house, hold down a very demanding job all whilst being a single parent.