Sharing expenses while separated but not divorced...any suggestions for this situation?

[eewwdavid]

My ex moved out around 2 years ago, he instigated the split. I have remained at home with the kids, and surprise surprise he has turned out to be useless with them. He pops in to see them most days, quick hello or takes them out for the occasional meal but no overnights. They've never been to where he's living.
Originally finances carried on more as less as when we were together, over time he has extracted himself from almost everything apart from the mortgage.
In terms of expenses related to the kids, I am detailing groceries, club costs etc and we are halving them. He drags his feet on this.
We haven't been able to move forward with divorce as waiting for public sector CETV statements.
I'm finding this financial arrangement increasingly difficult and unfair as he has no caring responsibilities. Nothing is legally arranged just now.
I wondered if anyone could suggest an easier and fairer way to do this in this interim period? Thanks in advance!

@Zanatdyi wasn't questioning the financial amount or looking for more, just that I hate the current "system". I do think he's getting off very lightly in terms of doing zero day to day parenting, but I cant force him into that. And I think by the time everything is sorted the kids will be too old to enforce any kind of shared care anyway

No real advice but my situation is very similar, minimal parenting done by him and pays a portion of the monthly costs (more than CMS) but nothing legally has happened yet and I hate being stuck in limbo. I feel like I spend way too much time budgeting for every little thing while he has no worries

I could just about afford the current mortgage and remain in our current home with the kids with but if we sold and split the equity it would be much harder, I’m unlikely to be able to buy him out and we have exam years coming up so trying to minimise disruption

@Wishingforbetter2it sounds an extremely similar situation...it's shit isn't it?
No worries while I budget is spot on.

So is he looking for half your public sector pension while making out he’s poor from self employment??

We both have public sector pensions @summitfeverso it might well be that we agree to leave them both alone..but we need the valuations to proceed.

But yes, he is in receipt of his and now self employed. I know how much he can make and it's way more than me!