Partners ex being awful

[Babymoose2727]

Really need some advice here - my partner and I have been together for over a year and we’re both divorced with 2 kids aged 8 and 10. His ex wife (they’ve been divorced 4 years) kicked off when he told her about me and said I wasn’t to meet their kids until we’d been together a year. He agreed to this just to keep the peace, but now it’s been 13 months and when he said it’s now time, she’s kicked off again and is still refusing to let his children meet me. She’s now said in not so many words that he’s not to see me when the kids are with him, and won’t allow him to contact her directly now and all contact is to go through his parents. He’s going to a solicitor to get some legal advice, but surely she can’t stop him seeing their kids? Any advice would be appreciated

I am 20 years into this. My partner’s ex wife continues to be incredibly difficult, controlling and demanding. The only thing that has improved is that now the children are independent my DP has very minimal contact with his ex and the saddest thing about all of it is that the kids missed out on so much as a result of their parents not being able to work together to bring them up.
We never went down the legal route. I think there are pros and cons to lawyers being involved. The thing that helped us most was therapy - both separately and together. I learnt to hold boundaries and separate myself from the drama of it all and we learnt how to function as a couple in the midst of disfunction.
But honestly if I had a friend in this position I’d be suggesting they think about what they are getting out of the relationship and if it’s worth it because IME the drama never ends.