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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

I’m a horrid ex wife because

64 replies

cadburyegg · 25/01/2026 21:08

Inspired by a similar thread on the step parenting board.

I’m a horrible exw because:

I expected my now exh to do his fair share in the house and maximise his income. Apparently because I didn’t put up with it I must be having an affair
I expect my exh to pay some child maintenance
I refuse to buy clothes for the kids to stay at my exh’s flat as well as my own house, particularly in light of the above
I don’t think it’s right to leave a 4yo home alone
I FORCED my exh to buy a changing mat for his place as we had a child in nappies at the time

Your turn 🥳

OP posts:
Goonie1 · 26/01/2026 01:47

Because about 6 weeks after we split, I bought him a Christmas gift from our 2 very young children. The kids excitedly gave it to him and he returned it. I was in the wrong.

sashh · 26/01/2026 03:00

My ex had a child with the OW. Then tried to claim maintenance from me.

I named the OW in the divorce (I asked the solicitor which grounds were easiest and quickest as I could have used a few).

I think that may have been why I got a brick through the window.

Theonlywayicanloveyou · 26/01/2026 04:36

It’s illegal to leave a 4 year old home alone. I hope reported that at the time

zebrazoop · 26/01/2026 04:39

Goonie1 · 26/01/2026 01:47

Because about 6 weeks after we split, I bought him a Christmas gift from our 2 very young children. The kids excitedly gave it to him and he returned it. I was in the wrong.

thats shocking, I hope the kids didn’t find out

zebrazoop · 26/01/2026 04:40

I expect him to meet his children’s needs.

sesquipedalian · 26/01/2026 06:22

I said my DD could go and stay with her grandmother (his DM) and he told his DM that I had refused to let her go…

BookArt55 · 26/01/2026 07:48

That is expect him to carry epi pens at all times when he has our youngest.
Because I got a SIO that states we both have to carry epi pens.
That speak to and am friendly to his girlfriend (he told her not to speak to me because she won'tloke me).
Latest is i won't carry over his decisions to my home, example- screen time ban for 3 year old for not listening to him, late bedtime as a reward for our 7 year old, etc.
Endless list.

ThirdStorm · 26/01/2026 08:24

I wouldn't iron his shirts.

Teafortime · 26/01/2026 08:34

Not an ex, but feeling angry on her behalf as I am being forced to listen to my dickhead boss complain about his ex-wife. Some of her 'crimes' so far are:

  • Living in a flat when he has a large house
  • Expecting him to still pay maintenance when she has a new partner
  • Having a second child (with new partner)
  • Spending similar amounts of money on clothes, toys, presents, days out etc for each of her children- he pays loads of maintenance so she should buy better things for his child
  • Not always being available to collect their DD from school on the day he is supposed to do it, when he decides last minute to do something else (doesn't she even WANT to look after her own child!)
  • Asking him to contribute to the cost of a school trip when the previous week she'd taken both her DC to the cinema (apparently she should not ask him to pay for any extras unless she has cut all non-essential spending)
For context, he left his ex for a younger colleague when his child was only a few months old. Ex was understandably upset so was, of course, declared by him to be the crazy ex wife.
DogAnxiety · 26/01/2026 08:50

@Teafortime how can you work for him?? I’d want to hit him over the head with a frying pan on the regular.

I’m totally unreasonable because I occasionally buy a takeaway and won’t provide a line by line justification of why my child’s other parent should pay less than half the CMS maintenance I would be due.

Navybluecoat · 26/01/2026 08:53

I went out on his time with the kids to see friends (I must have been shagging about)

I took the kids out and didnt sit at home crying about him

I spent my own money

I refused to give him money to take them out

They went to bed at 7

I didnt go to bed with them

I refused to buy them the expensive toys he promised id buy them (I had pennies to my name)

I refused to buy christmas/birthday presents 'from him'

I was so unbelievably unreasonable for expecting csa money (I got a full £1) as 'I pay your benefits' (tax credits)

I was very unreasonable for expecting him to buy nappies/food on his time (a full 2 hours a fortnight)

Years later,I was crazy because we moved house (away from being around the corner to him) as we needed a bigger house (and he'd long since stopped any form of contact)

I was very unreasonable for A-moving and B-not telling him

Then,I was spotted with now adult dd in the pub and I was crazy for 'allowing a 25 year old to drink'

I was very unreasonable for 'allowing' our other adult child to go on holiday abroad (he went at least 3 times a year) with her boyfriend

He honestly thought i should take their passports away

Controlling arsehole-hes still at it,we broke up 27 years ago and I moved away 10 years ago and hes still squawking about how crazy I am because I dare to breathe

Mindyourfunkybusiness · 26/01/2026 08:53

Teafortime · 26/01/2026 08:34

Not an ex, but feeling angry on her behalf as I am being forced to listen to my dickhead boss complain about his ex-wife. Some of her 'crimes' so far are:

  • Living in a flat when he has a large house
  • Expecting him to still pay maintenance when she has a new partner
  • Having a second child (with new partner)
  • Spending similar amounts of money on clothes, toys, presents, days out etc for each of her children- he pays loads of maintenance so she should buy better things for his child
  • Not always being available to collect their DD from school on the day he is supposed to do it, when he decides last minute to do something else (doesn't she even WANT to look after her own child!)
  • Asking him to contribute to the cost of a school trip when the previous week she'd taken both her DC to the cinema (apparently she should not ask him to pay for any extras unless she has cut all non-essential spending)
For context, he left his ex for a younger colleague when his child was only a few months old. Ex was understandably upset so was, of course, declared by him to be the crazy ex wife.

This is mortifying but I couldn't help but laugh at the end - declared by him to be the crazy ex wife 😂 typical

Mindyourfunkybusiness · 26/01/2026 08:57

@Navybluecoat my goodness, thank goodness you're rid of that tbh let him squawk away.

JumpingPumpkin · 26/01/2026 09:02

Not me, but I did stop hearing from a friend after he did "poor me" because he had his children full-time (the horror) so he couldn't meet up to go out dancing. His ex-wife had the audacity to be seriously mentally ill so was in hospital at the time. I replied something like "well you are their dad".

Mylovelygreendress · 26/01/2026 09:08

I had the nerve to expect my well paid exh to pay maintenance for our 3 DC so he moved abroad and didn’t see ( or pay for them ) until they finished their education .

Teafortime · 26/01/2026 09:16

DogAnxiety · 26/01/2026 08:50

@Teafortime how can you work for him?? I’d want to hit him over the head with a frying pan on the regular.

I’m totally unreasonable because I occasionally buy a takeaway and won’t provide a line by line justification of why my child’s other parent should pay less than half the CMS maintenance I would be due.

Dickhead boss was fairly recently promoted to this position- previously he was dickhead colleague and I could avoid being too near. He is as lovely to work for as you would imagine- I am looking for something else.

Sorry to hear you have a dickhead ex too

DogAnxiety · 26/01/2026 09:20

@Teafortime good luck in the job search. It’s amazing these prize pillocks get promoted or find new partners. It never, ever ceases to amaze me.

Goonie1 · 26/01/2026 09:33

zebrazoop · 26/01/2026 04:39

thats shocking, I hope the kids didn’t find out

Show quote history

He sent it back with them. Awful. One of the many things I will never forgive him for!

BernardButlersBra · 26/01/2026 09:38

For me

-just before becoming an ex wife l wasn't at home 24/7 and went to work. Also in the next breath why didn't l earn more money, as he wanted me to earn money but not work
-as an ex wife l wanted some of the money out of the house we had jointly purchased and renovated. He wanted me to walk away with £5k and a knackered Astra (he told me what a great and fair deal he was offering!), even though my legal split was actually x15 times that

takingthepissoutofme · 26/01/2026 09:42

Because I wouldn't go ahead with the wedding after finding out he had had several affairs and he was having a baby with someone else! Cancelled a very expensive wedding 6 weeks before it was due to take place. And then I kicked him out of the house, stuck all his belongings in a taxi and sent it to his mums and I was the one in the wrong!

Dollymylove · 26/01/2026 09:51

I expected him to pay towards his children's upbringing
He didnt understand my anger when the kids waited all weekend for him to turn up foe them. 6 months later he turned up.
Threatened to burn my (and his sons') house down

AngelinaFibres · 26/01/2026 10:04

Mylovelygreendress · 26/01/2026 09:08

I had the nerve to expect my well paid exh to pay maintenance for our 3 DC so he moved abroad and didn’t see ( or pay for them ) until they finished their education .

My exhusbsnd did pay maintenance ( intermittently) but when our eldest son was approaching uni age ( he was 3 when his dad left) he suddenly announced that he didn't legally have to pay towards any of it and so he wasn't going to. He told our sons this. I had remarried by this time and my second husband simply sat them down and said they should choose where they wanted to go and the finances would be sorted. If their dad decided to pay theh great. If he didn't then we'd just pay. Exhusband looked like the petulant prick he was and paid up.

aCatCalledFawkes · 26/01/2026 10:07

I called him the other day. We have been divorced for years and get on Ok but apparently I should know when he is on holiday and he was on holiday when I called, he doesn't parent when he's on holiday ever and he also hasn't taken her on holiday ever. Meanwhile I have taken her abroad a lot and always have to parent while I'm holiday.

Original poster
cadburyegg · 26/01/2026 10:10

BernardButlersBra · 26/01/2026 09:38

For me

-just before becoming an ex wife l wasn't at home 24/7 and went to work. Also in the next breath why didn't l earn more money, as he wanted me to earn money but not work
-as an ex wife l wanted some of the money out of the house we had jointly purchased and renovated. He wanted me to walk away with £5k and a knackered Astra (he told me what a great and fair deal he was offering!), even though my legal split was actually x15 times that

This sounds familiar

Wanted me to bring in the money so he didn’t have to but expected me to work only when kids at school / nursery and in the evenings so he wouldn’t have to do any parenting either.

OP posts:
AngelinaFibres · 26/01/2026 10:16

He left when the children were 3 and 2. Went off with a 17 year old .....all big hair and pert tits. He saw the children once a week between 5 and 6 ( took them 2 minutes up the road to the local Maccy D. That was his contribution to their upbringing at the time. Eldest son was potty trained around 2 and husband had no part in it. He was utterly horrified when it came to the youngest one. Training started a while after our marriage ended and I shall never forget his face when he turned up to collect them and I gave him the potty . What the hell am I supposed to do with that!!. " He's tried a pee at home but nothing this time, so you might just need it whilst you're out. Have a lovely time" Fuckwit.