I’m a horrid ex wife because

[cadburyegg]

Inspired by a similar thread on the step parenting board.

I’m a horrible exw because:

I expected my now exh to do his fair share in the house and maximise his income. Apparently because I didn’t put up with it I must be having an affair
I expect my exh to pay some child maintenance
I refuse to buy clothes for the kids to stay at my exh’s flat as well as my own house, particularly in light of the above
I don’t think it’s right to leave a 4yo home alone
I FORCED my exh to buy a changing mat for his place as we had a child in nappies at the time

Your turn 🥳

I didn’t let him see our child after he sent me abusive messages including abuse of our child.

I wouldn’t use the solicitor HE chose for me in our divorce and insisted on choosing my own

Oh and I dared to ask for more than the £100 he had agreed to pay for CM.

My ex demanded I lie to social services about her alcoholism and was outraged when I refused.

I was the bad guy because I would let him know when DS had school plays and sports days so that he could go. This was me rubbing his nose in it because he chose to not be able to attend. He also expected me to drop DS off and collect him afterwords so that he could have contact. I did ruin his life by having his child so I owed him. No, he did not pay child support.

Anyway, DS is now 25 and absolutely amazing! So I guess it was worth it.

@AngelinaFibres I had this

He strutted up and I handed him a pink potty

She'd toilet trained herself the day before (nothing to do with me,she took her nappy off,weed in the potty and handed it to me)

I wasn't taking any chances and carried that pink potty everywhere we went for the next few months

It wasn't bright pink (just a basic pink potty from boots) nor did it flash or anything

He point blank refused to take it with them as 'it's fucking pink!'

He also refused to do nappies or allow her to go to the toilet ('im not fucking dealing with that!') so she pissed herself twice

He refused to buy her some spare clothes from a charity shop so she stayed in her pissy clothes and got sore

The courts saw nothing wrong with this and i was the unreasonable one for not packing spare clothes (that he would have taken and sold on-i couldn't afford to keep replacing clothes)

Same dickhead saw nothing wrong with breaking in while I was out and going through my house-he read my private papers and was looking for evidence i was shagging about (found none but still told everyone I was)

Police couldn't have cared less and told me it was my own fault

Abusive twat

(Oh and it's all my fault that they didnt come of age,hunt him down and fall into his arms while crying about what a bitch i am but hes the best father in the world)

I don't think this has got enough attention! He tried to CLAIM MAINTENANCE for a child that had no biological link to you and that was born with another woman after your relationship ended? That is beyond unhinged. I do hope that you managed to have a day in court over that - and got the pleasure of watching him be put back in his box??

You just reminded me: l wouldn’t let him use the same solicitor as me for the divorce -that was mean of me apparently! In reality he was too lazy to find his own and it’s not even possible anyway

Yeah their “logic” was confusing!

I wouldn't let him stay up gaming until 3am and then sleep in until after lunch every single day
I wouldn't pay for absolutely everything because he refused to get a job
I wouldn't write off the 4k he owed me because 'we should be a team' (a team of one, which was me)
I wouldn't pay for the second dog he brought home without asking
I wouldn't teach his son to drive with no provisional licence or insurance for my car
I wouldn't get rid of my daughters 2 horses so "we" would have more money
I wouldn't stop messaging and meeting my own mother because he didn't like her (because she knew exactly what he was)
I wouldn't have sex with him (because I could find nothing attractive about him anymore) and it meant I was out shagging half the town instead

15 months ago I finally escaped and even writing that down traumatised me 🤦‍♀️

Oh another one

I’m horrid because he broke a slat on our ds10’s bed last week and I asked him to replace/fix it. Apparently very unreasonable because “it’s not like I was jumping on the bed”.

Imagine breaking something belonging to your child and refusing to sort it out!!

My Exh cheated and got the OW pregnant. I became the evil ex when I refused to move out of the marital home so they could move in.
I was awarded 70% of our tiny equity to house me and the kids because they were with me 80% of the time.
I earn more than him but still expect £50 maintenance for our 2 children per month (his total contribution pays for nothing else).
OW moved back to her home country with the children and now ExH travels between two countries - this is my fault because I sold the family home and he wanted it (neither of us could afford it on our own).
Children dont like the OW
He doesn't understand our children's education having never attended a parents evening or any appointment for our DS who has an EHCP and now feels excluded.
I have moved on, met someone else and remarried.
One of his best friends disagreed with his choices and is now one of my closest friends and no longer speaks to ExH.

Not me but my very good friend. He got their 16 year old babysitter pregnant ( he was 34!!!!) so the marriage ended and the marital home was sold. He demanded a key to my friends new home in case the children needed something in an emergency. Was furious she wouldn't let him have one ( he just wanted to snoop).
It was the time of the Next Directory ( oh the excitement twice a year when that was delivered). My friend had an account. Her exhusband wanted to monitor what she was ordering and pass judgement on whether she should keep it. Not only that but he also wanted her to allow his teenage girlfriend to use it to order clothes, to have them delivered to my friends house and to allow them to turn up whenever they wanted to collect them. He was astonished she wouldn't do this.

Not me but my ex

He'd just broken up with his ex wife and we started seeing each other

He had one biological ds and a dsd with her

He found he'd have to start paying cold hard cash for his dc (he hated that he had to pay her rather than giving her pocket money)

she was a 'money grabber' over this £200 a month (they arranged this between themselves)

Anyway,being the prince among men that he is,he contacted the csa to see if he could pay less-he could!

Happy days-only due to pay £110 a month

He went round bragging (to anyone including dsd) that 'the csa won't allow me to pay for dsd,only ds!'

He proudly went round telling everyone this until he told me-i pointed out that the csa was the bare bottom lowest he had to pay and if he chose to pay more,that was nothing to do with them-as long as he paid the bare minimum

His face!

He changed this to 'she won't let me pay for dsd' and 'shes just a money grabber,ive paid her way for years' (she stayed at home with the kids so he could have his big career while giving hers up)

We finished that weekend as I got the ick over him leaving his shitty underpants sunny side up all weekend on his bedroom floor and his mummy rang me not long after to tell me to keep my nose out of his salary (which I hadnt-he told me) and that i was just another gold digger (how?I had my own job and wages!)

They walk among us

because I chose to split from him. Let's face it, that's the main reason. A big ego can't stand being rejected so they attack every aspect of your character and (in my case) go as far as to invent things you've done to demonstrate why you were the evil party.

Deep breath and rise above it. The sooner I learnt not to give him power by even devoting thinking time to him as he would never be reasonable, the sooner I was at peace

Because if I'd spent less money on handbags I'd have had more money to feed MY son. Rather than him contribute anything.

Because I know who he really is, a nasty abusive monster, rather than the salt-of-the-earth he pretends to be. And I'm starting to tell people.

DH went through similar - his ex partner claimed CMS even though a DNA test had already proven the child wasn't his.

The poor kid is now 15 and her mother has DNA tested 4 men - with no step closer to identifying her actual father.

Unfortunately DH was on the birth certificate and only found out when the baby was 3 weeks old that the ex had been cheating on him their entire relationship. The ex promptly left him for a man who was awaiting sentencing for armed robbery, taking the baby with her to the other side of the country the day the DNA results came back.

We've had a decade of threats and abuse from this woman, but we've finally had DH removed from the birth certificate and made sure CMS didn't take a penny out of his wages. It's been very emotional as we found out long after this all began that DH is also 100% infertile.

I won't allow unsupervised contact until he has consistently engaged with mental health suport to address the courses of his violence towards the children.

I refuse to pack a bag for his days out with the kids, so he is forced to own his own swim kit/ wellie/ spare cloths, and wash his own wet/muddy ones afterwards

I expect ex to feed the kids while they're with him. I refuse to send a packed lunch and won't let him keep them more then 4 hours unless he agrees to give them a meal.

I won't lend him my tickets or passes to places, as he doesn't return them and that means I then can't take the kids to those places.

I'm definitely pure evil 😈

You sound awful OP! (😀)

Seriously, a leaving a 4 year old home alone??

I can’t get past that, let alone the rest of it!

My exh left when my youngest was 18 mths, went out one morning and then texted to say he couldn't do it, we had 4 dc. I hit rock bottom and slowly built myself up. (2 dc sen) he went mad when I meet a fantastic bloke who was their for all of them, he brought a 7 seater so we could go on holiday and ex went mad as I wouldn't let him borrow it when he had the kids. Kids now all grown up and he has a relationship with 2 of them and thinks he should get a medal. I claimed csa and they took straight from his earnings. He still doesn't speak to me as when his parents died they left me a big chunk of money and him a token amount. I never stopped his family from seeing any of the kids and would regularly send pics and updates to them all, which again was wrong as he should of been doing that, not sure how as he never went to any parents, sports, award ceremonies.

I am a horrid ex wife because I had a skip in my drive and he reversed his brand new shiny red car into it. Obviously my fault.

I think you chose a lovely man to be your DC's stepfather. I had a tear reading this..

I’m a horrible ex in his mother’s eyes because I refuse to allow a sexual predator near my kids. He agreed with his mother that the predator deserves contact too. Apparently sexual predators make mistakes and should be forgiven.