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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Can my niece willingly walk away with nothing?

89 replies

happyless · 16/01/2026 12:03

My niece is a free spirit and doesn't always think of the potential future impact. She has decided she wants a divorce (she has her reasons) and her husband has agreed on the following conditions:

50/50 custody of their 5 year old.
She signs the house over and he stays in it (90k equity).

She's going to need UC to pay her rent on a flat as she only works 20 hours p/w in retail and no savings.

She is going to apply for the divorce herself with no solicitor involvement.

Will this be allowed to happen? I'm really worried for her.

OP posts:
ReadingCrimeFiction · 16/01/2026 12:05

Why on earth does she not want some of the equity?

And as for 50/50, great in theory, but is she going to find herself doing all the life admin for their children? In which case, this needs to be negotiated with her H.

She will most likely be expected to get more work now - and with him havin gtheir child 50:50, she should have time.

Meadowfinch · 16/01/2026 12:05

I suspect the judge will intervene since your dd is clearly not acting in her own or her child's best interests.

They may not grant the financial order.

pinkdelight · 16/01/2026 12:10

She can't be a free spirit and expect other people to pay for it - she should get 50% of the assets/£ and use that to pay her rent as well as upping her hours. Expect the order will have to be altered so she gets her fair share.

PermanentTemporary · 16/01/2026 12:14

Yes any competent judge will look at that and throw out the petition because she hasn’t had proper legal advice. For very good reason.

She needs to grow up, talk to a lawyer and understand the difference between ‘being a free spirit’ and taking adequate responsibility for her adult choices.

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 16/01/2026 12:15

She should be taking the equity she’s owed instead of from the taxpayer.

50/50 should also mean she can up her working hours instead of relying on the taxpayer.

Not really free spirit if she expects the rest of us to support her

GreenCandleWax · 16/01/2026 12:18

What kind of man would stay in a family home but expect his ex wife to look after their DC 50/50 (come on!) in a rented flat she can't afford? Is he being vindictive? Does he actually intend to parent DC 50% of the time, or to spend most of his time on his own in their family home, or with someone else there while his ex does most of the childcare on her own?

ChrisMartinsKisskam · 16/01/2026 12:35

UC credit will want proof of the house being sold
when they realise that she could have had 45k in equity they won’t pay her rent or any benefits at all
if she refuses to take it they will just treat her claim as if she has had the money and therefore as it’s over 16k she won’t get any money

even if she gets away with it initially it will all come out eventually when they do reviews ask for proof of selling the house and the amount left over

as her daughter is over 3 they will expect her to work 30 hours a week in order to claim UC
So she won’t be able to work 20 hrs

if she was truly a true spirit she wouldn’t expect the state to hold her up

TheFormidableMrsC · 16/01/2026 12:36

No it won’t be allowed to happen. I know somebody who has also tried to do this and judge said no. There has to be an equitable settlement.

shouldofgotamortage · 16/01/2026 12:37

Uc wont pay her benefits if they find out she could of had 45k equity, they will refuse and rightly so. It’s deprivation of captial and they are extremely strict.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 16/01/2026 12:38

I doubt it, and she obviously won’t get UC to pay her rent if she’s given away assets on purpose

AnxiousUniParent · 16/01/2026 13:07

She should not do this!! She is married. She has a child as a result of that marriage. She is responsible for the care of that child. She can not do that without adequate housing.

I guess, she might be thinking that she will not get a mortgage and the 45k of equity would go on rent and then she would get UC.. so why not keep the equity in the house and go straight to UC.

Who knows what she is really thinking - but she should not give this up.

Octavia64 · 16/01/2026 13:18

She can apply for a divorce herself.

however one of the reasons it goes before a judge is precisely to stop this happening - it isn’t fair and will leave her relying on benefits.

the financial order will be rejected.

Original poster
happyless · 16/01/2026 13:23

GreenCandleWax · 16/01/2026 12:18

What kind of man would stay in a family home but expect his ex wife to look after their DC 50/50 (come on!) in a rented flat she can't afford? Is he being vindictive? Does he actually intend to parent DC 50% of the time, or to spend most of his time on his own in their family home, or with someone else there while his ex does most of the childcare on her own?

My mind is blown by the decisions they are both making. They are both saying this is amicable, and there is no one else involved. I'm thinking it's only amicable because she's agreeable to walking away with nothing. I'm just dumbstruck that she is okay with this and feel like someone needs to step in. I really hope the judge will stop her from doing this - it's unfair all around - including on us taxpayers.

OP posts:
PermanentTemporary · 16/01/2026 13:27

I mean - once she’s had the good legal advice she can step away if she insists. I did it, for similar reasons - I thought the ‘amicability’ would disappear pretty quickly if I fought. But I didn’t have a child, and that changes everything.

OpheliaNightingale · 16/01/2026 13:34

@happylessshe won’t be entitled to UC because of intentional deprivation of capital.

researchers3 · 16/01/2026 13:36

Meadowfinch · 16/01/2026 12:05

I suspect the judge will intervene since your dd is clearly not acting in her own or her child's best interests.

They may not grant the financial order.

This - a judge wouodnt sign it off.

She needs to act in her child's interests, especially as they are going 50/50 with childcare so she wont even get maintenance from her ex.

arethereanyleftatall · 16/01/2026 13:42

Of course she can’t do this, as it sounds like a complete scam by the two of them. No, you can’t get benefits when you have £45k savings, because no, you can’t just gift those savings to your ‘ex’.

millymollymoomoo · 16/01/2026 13:48

He doesn’t need to agree to the divorce
she can do it anyway

and she's not a free spirit as she expects me to work ft so she doesn’t have to. Nice.
she should be working full time

FancyCatSlave · 16/01/2026 13:48

A judge will definitely query it at least and may not sign it off. They do try to prevent people from being reliant on public funds where there are assets. They also look for evidence if coercion or abuse where one party walks away with less “willingly”.

But if she insists it may get signed off on a second or third try. My ex had less than he was entitled to (complicated, I won’t derail the thread) but he still had a substantial amount and he was self supporting (no benefits) which makes a big difference.

Didntask · 16/01/2026 19:02

Assuming there's a mortgage, she doesn't just get to 'sign the house over' - if she wants her name off the mortgage, her exh will have to apply for another mortgage as a single applicant. Does he earn enough to take on the mortgage by himself?

Hibernatingsloth · 16/01/2026 19:07

OP, you label your niece "a free spirit" yet she's actually being the opposite.
Wanting to waivie her right to half the house equity to claim UC???
How can she possibly be described as a free spirit if she wants the country to support her?

ShawnaMacallister · 16/01/2026 19:42

Even without the deprivation of assets issue which is a real issue, how does she think she's going to get anyone to rent her a property working part time with no capital? She needs at least £8000 to pay 6 months rent and deposit upfront!

Hyperbowl · 16/01/2026 19:45

No, she can’t do this. If she’s legally entitled to half the equity universal credit will consider her to have it even if she refuses to take it.

She doesn’t need to agree to this just to get a divorce, she can apply for a no fault divorce and use the funds from the equity to pay for it if he’s not willing to do it amicably. I would not describe this amicable arrangement at all, it sounds like your niece is being coerced.

A judge will look to see that all parties housing needs will be met and won’t sign off anything that will leave a child without a home especially with the mother. What kind of father is happy to see his child homeless 50% of their life?!

Serious questions need to be put to these two people because neither are safeguarding that child.

InWithPeaceOutWithStress · 16/01/2026 19:56

It sounds like she’s been misled into thinking she has to give up assets as a negotiation tactic for him to agree to a divorce? That’s just not true anymore. She can apply for a divorce as a sole applicant and it will go through even if he doesn’t agree to it.

Kneeslikethese · 16/01/2026 20:22

I did this (without claiming uc)
I desperately needed to leave my ex husband but he didn't want to end the marriage. I walked away with nothing, couldn't afford a solicitor and took our dd 50/50. It was the only way I felt I could go. He didn't want to sell dds family home and guilt tripped me into believing it was best for her to still have it for stability. I took my name off the mortgage and walked away with nothing because I couldn't get another mortgage/ credit with my name still on that one.
Big mistake.
I worked a lot to pay the rent in the shitty flat I got while not much changed for him. The 50/50 didn't last either.
He eventually re married, sold the house and walked away with all the profit. Our dd never saw any benefit of it.