Ex’s financial settlement offer - fair?

[Starbuck80]

My ex has proposed the following through this solicitor - does it seem like a fair split?

Bit of background: together 12yrs, married 8.5 with two kids 5yrs and 2yrs. He’s a high earner (£230k) and I’ve been a sahm for 5yrs with an earning capacity of £35k. He is also announced that he will be reducing his days down to four in the New Year and thinks the children should be with him 4 nights per week as he can financially support them.

There is circa £820k marital funds with £375k in house, plus his £300k pension plus stocks and shares. I have a pension pot of £11k. He has a mortgage capacity of £900k while I have no mortgage capacity. He has £4.3million in US investments which is ringfenced but accessible if needs can not be met through marital assets.

Also, we live in SE London so a 3 bed property is £676-700k

Offer:
£375k house equity to be offered as half lump sum and half in trust for the children
£700 per month child maintenance (due to reduced hours and wanting the kids 4 nights)
£500 per month spousal, reducing to £175 per month in year 3.

He has also said that this offer is only valid if I do the following:

• return to work immediately
• let him have the kids 4 days per week sun-Weds so I have then Fri and Sat.

What pension provisions do you have? What has he offered? On the face of it it looks like an okay offer but I’m concerned that much will taper off in 3 years and once the kids turn 18 which could leave you in a financial mire further down the road. I’d be more interested in a large lump sum from him which you can then re-invest rather than being bound by monthly payments that could come to an abrupt halt. He sounds controlling re his demands - has either of you asked what the kids want to do?

Please get independent legal advice!!

The kids are 5 and 2. They don’t get to be asked

op is coming out of this well based on all
the assets essentially being pre marital and only being sahm for 5 years. It doesn’t seem like she’s given up a high earning career herself.

overall based on ops update it seems a fair outcome for her / housed, spousal maintenance to get her back on her feet over 6 years by which time her eldest will be at secondary and youngest well into school and a high level of cms ongoing

Keep going OP. End at least in sight. Get legal advice before October hearing. Too important not to.

I’ve got a great solicitor and barrister who understand exactly what my ex is trying to do. They are measured but equality ready to fight my corner. I think I lucked out with them!

Great OP. Everything crossed for October. Final straight.

Insist upon pension sharing.

UPDATE

I thought I’d just share a quick update as I think it’s helpful for others going through the divorce process!

We’ve just signed off the Heads of Agreement doc, 9 weeks after the pFDR outcome. My ex has constantly tried to change the proposal (at one point 70% of it was changed in one go) but each time we’ve been able to demonstrate the ridiculousness of the changes and he’s reverted back to the pFDR outcome. He’s tried to change the joint conduct of sale of the house to sole conduct, reduce the judge’s recommendation for nursery provision, change how the lump sum payments were paid to me etc etc. All these changes would come when he felt he was loosing control of the situation.

We will be putting the house on the market over the next month and hopefully there will be light at the end of the tunnel soon regarding the finances.

The childcare arrangements haven’t been finalised yet and I’m sure that will be another battle but I have two years worth of parenting logs which I hope will present the reality of the situation.