Dating a separated man, living with his wife

[Morningcoffee85]

My partner of 7 months has been in a unhappy marriage for years they separated a year ago but he still lives with his wife. Apparently they sleep in different rooms. I love him very much and it hurts every time he leaves. They both have good incomes, but are doing this for the children. ( they are in secondary school)
Any advice is welcome

You are dating a married man. Drop him. And tell her.

You’re the other woman. No man who wants to separate from his wife continues to live with her. It’s not “for the kids” he wants to have his cake and eat it. Have you met his friends, even? Been introduced to his brother?

No, I’m sure he would even tell you himself he doesn’t want to upset his wife by rubbing you in her face. Wife comes first. He won’t even actually leave her.

I’ve seen too many women hear “his wife hasn’t touched him in years” just to learn his wife was suddenly pregnant again. Kindly, don’t accept this treatment.

Definitely tell her

WAKE UP.

He is MARRIED and a FATHER.

The thought that they are separated in separate rooms is going to come as a great surprise to his WIFE.

You are the OTHER WOMAN.

He is having an AFFAIR with you.

To do:

Ask to visit his house.

Ask to meet his wife.

Keep asking.

Observe his reactions. He will wriggle and squirm and look panicked. Find excuses. Fob you off.

You are being USED.

She is being ABUSED and DECEIVED and CHEATED on.

RUN.

I had a similar situation years ago, they weren’t separated and it was an affair that I was oblivious to until eventually things didn’t start adding up and I actually messaged the ‘ex’ for clarification, needless to say they then broke up and I did not go back

Run, run as fast as you can.

He's is definitely still married..

I refuse to believe someone is this blind!! You are OBVIOUSLY the ow! Wise up!!

Have you met ANYONE in his life? Parents? Friends? Open your eyes mate, he's still with his wife. You're just a bit of fun and extra sex to him, he doesn't give a shit about you (or his family apparently)

You’re nothing more than his mistress OP.

Have you met any of his family? I was with a separated man for 4 years, I never met any of his family, I think because he couldn't be bothered to sort his divorce. I had no intention of living with him so saw him when I felt like it

C'mon OP, how can you possibly be this naive...

Next thing, he'll tell you his wife is unhinged and you can't possibly meet her because she'll go crazy.

And if you do meet a friend of his, don't be so sure he's not in on it too. Lads tend to stick together.

Does he do social media? Check out the happy family pictures.

I saw a very similar post a few months back, well several actually from the same person, have you had a NC as you narrate very much like those other posts?

My friend had a relationship with a guy who spun her the same tale (except he wasn’t married to his partner).

When his partner found the messages between him & my friend, the real truth came out - his poor partner had no idea that they were apparently separated!

Why do some women fall for such blatant lies? It is no crime to be single.

All sounding a bit sus op, if she knows and the kids know they're separated then why can he only speak to you alone?

How long is he planning to live with his wife? What future plans have you discussed together? Look at his actions, not his words.

If he has a new partner surely he should be making all possible plans to get his own place and move out?

I'd want to speak to the wife to confirm she's aware too.

I wonder if his wife knows how unhappy his marriage is or is aware they're separated.

Come on OP stop being a prat. You're the other woman and you know it.

I'm separated a year this month and still living with wife. We delayed announcing it until DC completed final school exams recently. Pension valuations etc are dragging on and we can't start divorce and get house on market until separation agreement is completed, so it's going to be later this year until we can get our own places. We have separate rooms and separate lives basically but neither are dating at moment or trying to as far as I know anyway. It doesn't make sense to move out financially at moment, so it really does depend on circumstances. I would suggest that if he doesn't have answers as to what his future holds I would be a bit suspicious of his level of commitment.

@Morningcoffee85

If you found out you were the OW what would you do and how would you view him?

So what’s his plan? Divorce? Sell the house? Get his own place? Or are they staying together for the children permanently?

“My partner of 7 months has been in a unhappy marriage for years they separated a year ago” - does his wife know that?
I would tell him it is not appropriate to date until he is no longer living with his wife and to give you a call then.

Even if what he's telling you is true I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with him.
Separated for a year but still living together, he's only part way through the break up, he still sees her every day, talks to her every day, lives with her every day, he hasn't gone through the hard part of a break up and family break up where they have to get used to living apart and all that that entails.

There’s your answer then! Whatever he tells you is bullshit to excuse this. Honestly, what an arsehole.
I hope you are ok, I am sure you must having been having doubts to have posted this but nevertheless, you must feel gutted. If you stay, he will not leave her, he will make false promises and even if he does leave - he will do the same to you. Deal yourself a much better future and best wishes.