Ex buying me out - can I stipulate the house goes to the children

[happytue]

My ex is buying me out of the house. He will give me a lump sum.
I want to make sure the children inherit the house in the event of his death, and want to protect the house even if he remarries.
are There any legal ways to do this? Not a will I guess because that can change?

And you intend for your stepmother to be made homeless on her husband's death?

Not that it’s any of your business but my stepmother owns 3 houses of her own. She’ll be fine!

ETA and of course it’s nothing to do with my intention, it’s not my house nor my will. I have no say over it.

You can leave a life interest:

my house goes to my kids in my will. However if dh survives me he can remain in it as long as he chooses, or until he remarries. He can also sell and buy a smaller property with the proceeds if he wishes.

i did have a friend whose mum died and her will stipulated the house to be sold when the youngest child turned 18. So this man, their stepfather, brought them up and took care of them after their mum died until they went to uni. Then they sold the house from under him. I thought that was unfair (no, they didn’t need the money, their dad was incredibly rich, much older, and generous with his gifts to avoid IHT)

Wheres his wife going to live after his death?

In one of the three houses she owns, I guess. They were the reason she told him explicitly that she didn’t want to inherit his house and that it should go to his daughter.

I believe in the UK you can set up a Trust Will. Your husband will then leave his estate to your children as the beneficiaries and therefore any future partner or step children cannot inherit his part of estate as its protected by the trust will! Normal wills will obviously stipulate beneficiaries but I think it gets tricky if new spouse in the picture etc. Hope this makes sense! I’m not an estate planner but this is just from what I got from a quick google.

After you divorce it's not really your concern. You can choose how you leave your assets to your children.
Fwiw, my DH was married before and his will leaves all his assets to me (2nd wife). This house has been my home for a long time. I don't think his children (including our shared child) have more rights to my secure home than I do.

(If she dies first he doesn’t inherit any of her houses either. They go to her children)

I would assume if someone wants their house to go to their kids, if they re-married then they would re-do the will to state the same after the wedding.

Thank you, this is helpful!!

You made it everyone's business when you shared it on a public internet forum.

Yes, I did in fact share that my dad will be leaving his house to me in his will. My stepmother will live in one of the three houses she already owns. My father won’t inherit any of those houses if she dies first. Happy?

I suppose my first thought is that having just lost a husband (when he dies) and presuming that is when she is quite elderly, thats a massive loss to then up sticks and move, despite the fact she owns three houses.

If you share information and chit chat about it (and you sound quite dismissive of her) then people will ask questions.

Not at all dismissive of her. She’s brilliant and I have no plans to immediately throw her out of anywhere. I haven’t actually planned any of it, it’s a bit gauche to be making plans with what to do with my inheritance when my dad is still in good health.
Also to point out that she was absolutely clear she didn’t want the house. In her own words, she’s never contributed to it, never paid so much as a bill since she moved in there (5 years ago) and she’s wealthy herself. She has no need of it and she wanted to make sure I got it. I have a disabled child who is never going to lead an independent life and they both want to make sure he is provided for.
I was merely sharing that if someone remarries then they can alter their will afterwards if they want to. It’s not a given that it will go to the new spouse. Genuinely didn’t know I’d have to give our entire life story to make that point.

Just to point out too that who they leave their properties and wealth to is entirely their choice, not mine, so I’m not sure how I could be blamed for any of it regardless! I only know that I am being left the house because my dad told me. He also told me that his wife had insisted it came to me. I don’t know why I would get a hard time about decisions other people have made.

Why are you not getting a fair share?

Getting 35% of the house and ‘getting to keep’ your own pension doesn’t feel like things evening out. Perhaps there’s other things you’ve not mentioned but make sure you’re genuinely getting a fair share. Future control of the house, as others have said, you need to let go of. Even couples who never split can’t be sure their house will go to their dc, if it’s needed for care fees or various other scenarios.

A trust would be expensive and there could be trouble later for DH if he needed care and it looked like voluntary deprivation of assets. Could you buy a small place yourself after the divorce and leave that to the children?

Op, you still haven't said whether you have received legal advice in your own right? legal advice form a separate solicitor, not the one you seem to be sharing with your ex?
I mean this nicely, but you come across to me as naive, thinking you can dictate who he leaves the house to in the future. You really must get your own independent legal advice to ensure that the financial split is fair.

If o/p has moved out this sort of split isn’t unusual.

like i said my db got less than 10% of his house.

he actually took it to court as he felt it was unfair. The judges logic was that both him and his ex were housed (him on our mum’s sofa). Because his ex was in a relationship 🙄 they couldn’t do a sell when kids are 18/21 plan, so she had to buy him out. A sale wasn’t ordered to give him a bigger share as she wouldn’t have been able to buy a property with a lesser share.

how it was decided was they calculated according to what mortgage she was able to get. She’d gone PT just before she kicked him out (yes it was planned as she had an OM ready to move in). So he basically got the difference between the current mortgage and her mortgage. She was only able to borrow an extra 20k, so that’s what he got.

oh but you can keep your pension 🙄. Their pensions were roughly equal anyway as she had a LGPS and he was self employed.

Why are you not getting a fair share of the house? Do you have a solicitor fighting your corner.

you shouldn't take his word for anything, he can change his mind tomorrow and there'll be nothing you can do, Remember he's a different man to the person you married. Good that it's amicable but he will have moved on in his head and doesn't have to pay heed to anything you want or need. Hence why you need to come away with a fair deal.

where will you and the children live?

ETA - to @MadinMarch point, you need your own solicitor - in fact solicitors don't act for both parties, they only act for one side as part of their professional conduct. Otherwise there are conflicts of interest. You only have one chance to come away with a fair deal, once it's done, there's no going back.

Not true. OP is selling her share so SHE cannot put the house into a trust. ExH COULD but why would he when he has the rest of his life to live and may want to move/invest his money differently.

OP can leave whatever she owns to her children.

we Just started the process.. there’s so much to learn. Appreciate all the feedback everyone