Are stay at home mums “unemployed”

[Protectmydaughter]

I only ask as my daughter is getting divorced and her husband’s lawyer has referred to her as unemployed rather than acknowledge her homemaking role; this feels so belittling. Are we being over sensitive? What do others think?

Yes, the post where you were describing SAHPs as ‘unemployed’. It’s incorrect, so thank you for now acknowledging that it is in fact being ‘economically inactive’, ie being busy caring for dependents. The OP’s DH is a disgrace if he tries to use her different but equally valuable contribution to their family unit against her. That it is why it is so important to not diminish her work, and yes it is work, albeit unpaid, by referring to her as ‘unemployed’. Her solicitor needs to shut that misogynistic nonsense right down.

I've read a lot of studies so I made an informed decision. This is the consensus, however uncomfortable.

She is out of work so therefore unemployed.
I hope she plans on changing that post divorce.

Don't beat yourself up

Economically inactive.

For the hundredth time…you are incorrect…have a quick Google of ‘economically inactive’…

I am a SAHM. I work in a professional role but in a voluntary capacity for organisations which would have to pay if they could not find a volunteer. I earn an income through investments but not through PAYE. I think your daughter's husband is trying to diminish her role and contribution to her family. It is very short-sighted to assess our contribution to the world in financial terms. In that case the greatest human beings would be people like Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos.

Depends what options there are. Forms may have many options including -

Not in paid employment.
SAHP.
Homemaker.
Carer.
Retired.
Student.

The post which accused posters who said unemployed as denigrating sahm. Do you think being unemployed is a slur? I don’t.

It’s the OP’s DD - and she is now discovering that not having her own income through work puts her at a disadvantage. Her DH has been doing what millions or working parents do so he’s now in a far stronger position economically - and that stands, regardless of whether the lawyer used the term unemployed or economically inactive.

As someone above said from a government statistic view the amount of people "unemployed" is counted by the amount claiming job seeking related benefits.

Plenty of unemployed people are not eligible for unemployment benefits.
Those whose partners make a high enough wage
Those on NRPF visas
Those who have other income that makes them ineligible for unemployment benefits
Those who have savings of £16k and up,

Unemployed counts the number of people actively seeking work regardless of whether they are claiming unemployment benefits.

Economically inactive. Unemployed would be if she was out of work and not looking. SAHM is a choice. The lawyer is going to use the term that suits their case best and she should push back strongly on that.

What if you never had a "profession"?
What would you put?

She is choosing not to work so yes you can dress it up the way you want and stick pretty flowers on it it is still what it is

She is choosing not to work so yes you can dress it up the way you want and stick pretty flowers on it it is still what it is

She is both unemployed and economically inactive.

That’s what I am saying no matter what your profession was, on this retired person visa form you have to put “unemployed” (and promise not to work).

So if you never had a profession, you also put “unemployed”

Apparently every retired pensioner is equal

I agree with this - unemployed suggests you are seeking work and cannot find it.

If someone is choosing not to work and is not claiming any state assistance - whether due to home-making/caring responsibilities or independent wealth, etc- then I dont think they are unemployed. Similar to this, retired people are not unemployed.

Its denigrating. Assuming she's supported him by being at home, enabling him to progress in his career. Ensuring kids are fed, schooled, etc etc. Then to refer to her as unemployed is crap.

Different if the kids are secondary age.

I would say that unemployed is a term used to describe people who are not in employment, but are trying to get into employment.

A SAHM is not unemployed, she is working for the family. Just not for money. And she isn't looking for paid employment.

I should think that the lawyer has done it to make her seem lazy as the word does have negative connotations.

’Unemployed’ undermines the efforts of those who are caring full-time for either their children, their spouse or an elderly parent. I would consider myself as ‘unemployed’ if I was between jobs when I was working full-time before having children, not now. It is very different.

Her DH working full-time does not make him worthy of superior legal treatment or outcomes to his wife. His financial contribution is important, but not more important that her contribution to doing all of the day-to-day hands on caring of their children whilst he is at work. He is being extremely derogatory towards her. Hopefully they are married and own their home in both their names, regardless both have made a 50:50 valid contribution to their family, which is usually rightfully reflected in these sorts of splits.

How do you think the children of working parents are able to be fed, schooled, etc etc?!

Actually I think I might have interpreted the word "profession" wrong.
Do they just mean "job"?
I used to work in retail - but I never thought of myself as a "professional sales assistant" 😂
It sounds a strange form.
(wouldn't it make more sense to have it as "not working" for retired folks?)

I think the lawyer has simply put down unemployed to show
a) she isn’t employed but
b) is capable of working and
c) she has no income for the courts to consider when doing the financial order

If the lawyer put “economically inactive” that would imho apply to a SAHM that
a) isn’t employed,
b) cannot work due to her or child’s disability and
c) not only has no income to consider but no potential for future income to consider,

It is the best label for the situation and not denigrating or misogynist

Yeah, get her lawyer to push back on this term with the other side. Show them this thread😂

I am sure the judge has seen and heard everything though and knows the tactics. The judge is not there to make moral judgments on SAHM.

Strictly speaking, being 'unemployed' is OP's dd's favour in a divorce as she may get a bigger maintenance award.

So to clarify, you believe that just because you are a working mother than you should be entitled to better treatment/outcomes should your DH divorce you than a SAHM? You think this DH has has every right to disrespect his wife just because she isn’t in paid employment? Well, that really is a new one!