Are stay at home mums “unemployed”

[Protectmydaughter]

I only ask as my daughter is getting divorced and her husband’s lawyer has referred to her as unemployed rather than acknowledge her homemaking role; this feels so belittling. Are we being over sensitive? What do others think?

From a divorce financial settlement perspective she is unemployed if she is able to take work but isn’t currently, the exception would be having a child under 1 (when you would be on maternity leave), disabled herself or a carer for someone with disabilities that cannot use paid care.

in my divorce, the fact I was part time was set aside because I was free to take full time work if I wanted to (or could find it) my settlement earning potential was based on my current hourly rate at 35 hours per week.

Yes I would agree with that! As a single parent I did both!

Unemployed, not seeking employment or economically inactive.

I would see not working to earn as unemployed as in the definition of it. Being a SAHM is more a role as all parents look after their children, just some work and others don't.

I've found some SAHMs a bit defensive when meeting new people for the first time and asking what they do. They've said they work for the family, keeping me in my job as a teacher, then felt they needed to add other responsibilities they have with wider family etc.

My thoughts and responses were hey, I'm not judging, was just a normal question to find out about people! Xx

Early retired people are also called economically inactive

She’s not employed so she’s unemployed

You understand what contributing means right? From a legal perspective? Not "oh I save £1500 pcm childcare expenses".

I won't disagree that being a SAHP saves money, IF childcare costs exceed income. But you're not contributing, financially, you're not employed or earning a wage and you are not contracted to be a "homemaker".

SAHP earn absolutely nothing.

@Beautifulweeds I've just said "I'm a SAHM" if anyone asked.
My daughter is older now but she's autistic so I say "I'm a carer".
That's what I was/am.
I can't understand why they would get defensive. I personally found no one cared (or said anything to my face).
But I feel if I said "I'm unemployed" that would sound like a lie - because I wasn't looking for paid employment.

I don’t have a job. I am unemployed. I have three young children, but if I chose to, I could contribute financially to society by being employed.

But not "unemployed" ?

I think they're working insofar as doing non paying work at home, which might be low status, doesn't generate money or control. The state can't raise taxes on this labour and is disinterested.
It's a question of degrees too, some are run off their feet, other have a much easier time. The men should be compelled to go part time and stay home with kids, whilst the ladies keep their foot in the door of paid employment.

If you don’t need to work & choose not to then you’re not unemployed. I chose not to work for a decade but I didn’t need/want to work whilst raising my child so I never considered myself unemployed. The moment I decided to work again & began looking I was unemployed

I also think the term unemployed means ‘of working age’, available for work and hopefully looking for work - so excluding pensioners, stay-at-home mums, people who are off sick.

I guess if there are only two options to choose from (employed or unemployed) then it would have to be unemployed, but that’s not strictly right for SAHMs.

I would say she was 'economically inactive' but the ex husbands lawyer is presumably acting under his instruction. Whether or not he agreed to her staying at home when they were married, he has now decided he doesn't want to fund it. It's not the lawyer 'belittling' her. Its the STB ex husband saying he doesnt agree to her being a SAHM anymore. She is therefore 'unemployed' because she needs to be looking for work and get him to take on the subsequent half of the childcare/cost.

Aaaaarghhhhhh sitting on my fingers here 🤣🤣🤣🤣

We need to look up the legal definition of unemployed in UK law.

‘Those who are not in employment and are not unemployed by these definitions are considered to be economically inactive. There are a number of reasons why someone who is not in work may not
be actively seeking work. For example many students in full-time education would not seek work, neither will some sick or disabled, or those who have retired, or those who are looking after a family
or home, and many other reasons’.

The lawyer is basically using the term unemployed to undermine your daughter to minimise the financial support she requires. I assume her family is young?

Unemployed, not seeking employment

I understand, I have an autistic child and went part time yet somehow felt the need to explain why I wasn't full time any more. Completely wrong of course, so I was like them, a bit defensive and felt the need to justify it to some career driven friends with 5 kids, daft I know.

Being the best parent and carer is what's important and no one should judge or feel the need to justify it.

Unfortunately I do know others who have been terrible parents, lied to benefits, basically lazy and entitled and it's these who give sahms a bad name.

Being a good parent, especially with ND DC, is hard work, that's the difference people should realise. Xxx

HMRC provides a form for applying to pay voluntary Class 3 National Insurance contributions which has separate boxes to tick for "Unemployed" and "Non-employed".

Whenever I fill in forms there is a box for SAHP. Something like caring roles or supporting children. There is always a box alongside unemployed so I’ve never had to tick that

lawyer is just trying to stir shit. Don’t let it get to you. The more acrimonious it gets usually the better for the lawyers

If not seeking employment then they are "not in paid employment".

Unless it’s maternity leave I think it’s right to say unemployed - and as ever the role of a mother is massively undervalued and that is the reason they don’t want to write stay at home parent.

I’ve filled in lots of forms, and SAHPs are not classed as unemployed. You’re only unemployed if you need/ want a job and are not employed. Just as retired people wouldn’t put unemployed either.

Caring for children is contributing economically to the household. If you don’t do it yourself you have to pay someone else.