Ex wants to take DD out of school for trip

[ikeepforgetting]

Hi, have a difficult ex who doesn't do any parenting unless performative - so with a family wedding in France coming up he has stepped up his game. He wants to take DD out of school on a Friday and Monday a week before her y10 GCSE mocks in June.

I have said no, that she can go Fri eve to Sunday eve (still not ideal she should be studying, but I am not being obstructive) and I am waiting for the explosion of rage. I feel like I am doing the right thing but also know that I will tarnished as the worst person in the world.

Can he just take her out of school and ignore me? School won't give permission but he won't care about that.

It is. She can alert the authorities and without an SIO the child will not leave the country.

Compromise, take the Friday off possibly the Thursday but no more

I have a different surname to DC and I don’t think we look very similar. I don’t mind being asked, they are just doing their job, except the one time I was questioned on a domestic flight at Gatwick, which I thought was out of order. The guy said I needed to travel with DC birth certificates even though it was a domestic flight (which I don’t think is true).

We did go past the same border guard coming back into the U.K. several times and she did eventually kind of gave us the ‘it’s you again’ look and stopped asking. DD was stood all ready with the folder of documents as well. I always asked their dad to give his phone number as well in the letter so I guess someone could call him if needs be.

I got asked for permission letter and copy of the dads ID when I traveled to a different continent recently, even though we have same surname and look very alike! I've never been asked in Europe, so I assumed it was the different region that changed policy? But as you say, they have no way of knowing that he genuinely had written the letter, and I was very lucky that I had a scan of his passport still on my Google drive from something like house buying a few years ago! Nothing to do with being separated, just the fact one parent not present. But I don't know what they'd have done if I'd have said I'm a widow!

Back to the OP, I agree with the questions about what does your daughter want to do?

Mean absolutely no offence here whatsoever, but it made me smile sarcastically to myself because if it were my ex that text would just go unanswered 🙄😂

Yeah I know. A bit unrealistic over here! 🤷‍♀️😆.

I think the right language can work wonders, and I've observed it in action. But it really takes alot of work and you have to believe it. It does work but it takes next level communication!

Right now, he isn't paying a penny to OP, I get that.

He needs your permission. It's pot luck if he gets checked unless you specifically call and report him, then they will stop him leaving the country. Your DD probably won't thank you for having her Dad arrested at the border though.