Living on own 1st time ever -top tips

[DoubtjngThomas]

So after 30 years of marriage I find myself on my own with DD in a very old rented house. Ex was rubbish on an emotional level but did the lions share of house/car maintenance.

What are your top tips on making life as simple and safe as possible for myself and prepared in emergencies?

So far I have

Bought car breakdown cover
Candles and matches in case of power cuts
Taken meter readings for gas/electricity
Ordered broadband (although already been told issues with connection)
Ordered logs for the fire
Spare house key cut for my sister just in case of emergencies

What else can I do to make me feel less anxious about doing this on my own?

Update any pet microchips with the new address (if relevant)

All home invasion avoidance tips to be found here.

Sorry for your situation. I am now three years separated and had the same anxiety. Life does move on and things do get better over time. I'm no longer anxious but still feel extremely sad at times about everything.

Anyway my practical tips:

Forget the candles and have torches dotted around the place instead.

Key to the front door hooked somewhere visible in the hallway.

Carbon monoxide alarms. Fire alarms.

Always check and double check doors and windows, mains plugs before leaving the house and before bed.

Make sure you set up direct debits for all utilities and council tax.

Get a notebook and write down all the utilities, bank account, insurance contact numbers, account numbers, passwords. My brain is like a sieve and I can't always rely on saved passwords.

Make things fun for you and DD as much as you can.

Take time to treat yourself, little and often. Flowers, a new plant, chocolates, whatever you fancy. Be kind to yourself.

Make a list of recommended trades people. Like plumbers and electricians.

Oh also I never ever let my mobile phone run low or out of battery. I don't have a landline so is the only means in case of emergency.

I also keep my purse, keys and phone within reach at and on the bedside table.

Not sure how old your DD is but I would also agree things like a simple procedure in case of emergencies. List of emergency contacts.

I did say I understand your anxiety!

Get your chimney swept.

Key safe!

Post re-direction

Check ✅

List of emergency contacts is amazing tip especially for DD (16)

Don’t use candles and matches, too risky to fall asleep with them burning. Get a couple of decent torches, or battery lanterns.

Smoke alarms and CO2 alarms.

Know where the stop gap is, and try turning the water off now to check you know how to do it.

Make a list of jobs by frequency - weekly, monthly, six monthly, yearly. Put them on a calendar or in your phone as recurring appointments.

When stuff happens, take a deep breath, and remember you can deal with it.

When I lived alone in the middle of nowhere I had two close neighbours and I made a lot of effort to make friends with them, they helped me out numerous times and I helped them too.
If landlord and finances and lifestyle allow maybe think about a pet for company.

Get to know neighbours. Find one you trust to leave a spare key with for emergencies.

Find the fuse box.

Roadside assistance and jump leads in the car.

If you don’t want to be locatable, remove yourself from the public electoral roll.

I just use the in-built diary app. You can set it to remind you. That and a to-do list which I update whenever I think of anything (and also has reminders) works for me.

Also, get a Eufy doorbell. Much better than Ring and no pesky subscription.

Enjoy single life, it's fab.

With teens they knew where I kept some emergency cash and had taxi numbers so if they were ever stuck and I couldn’t help they knew they could get a taxi home and there would be money to pay when they got back.

Insurance if you get sick and can't work. I did that while I was still working, now retired. It was peace of mind that the bills would be paid. I learned to tile my kitchen and decorated the entire house I moved to with my kids. It was so therapeutic. Good luck. I've had the best time as a divorced woman. You've got this

Oh gosh loss of earnings insurance is such a good idea. Adding this to my Escape Plan list.

Best advice on here I think!

https://youtube.com/@gosforthhandyman?si=7q3flCSQXXWdPns9

https://youtube.com/@properdiy?si=Cn6aw2yAn-rM4emS

These two channels have everything you need to know. Basic hammer drill, decent tape measure, screwdriver set, and a hammer will be a basic toolkite, but watch those channels first.

Has the chimney been swept ?

Make your bedrooms sanctuaries. I know it's not a practical thing but it helps morale.

Great advice already on this thread OP.

It will take some time to adjust but I hope that you'll find that you are more capable and resourceful than you might give yourself credit for. That has been my experience.

I think everything has already been covered in terms of practical advice on this thread, Mumsnet at its best.

I've realised over the past year that I really can do everything that EXH tended to do, and in almost every case things have been easier than he made out. Plus, if I make a mistake it's no big deal, there's no eye rolling, tutting or criticism- I just try again. It has been empowering in a way that I didn't anticipate.

Wishing you happiness and peace on your new home OP.

*in

Thank you all for so much sound advice and thoughts. Really grateful.

Of course torches are much more sensible than candles. I will look on Amazon.

Just realised I have given a gas reading but not electricity. The LED screen doesn't show anything unless I push buttons and even then I don't know what I'm looking at. Should I just Google?

Are there any other meters I should be aware of?

Sorry I sound so useless

You're not useless you are doing so well.
Is there a water meter? It might be in the road outside. Maybe check with the water company if the property is metered or not.

Re electricity yes Google the brand name of the meter if you can.