Any mums want 50/50?

[Clumsy12345]

I notice a lot of threads on here from mum’s not wanting 50/50 or trying to fight it which I understand but are there any mums that wanted 50/50? I would have loved 50/50 but unfortunately ex wasn’t interested and would rather not see them. This isn't a post for people saying they don’t want 50/50 I already see many posts about that this is simply to wonder if there are any mums who wanted 50/50 or have 50/50 and are happy with it? as I often wonder if it’s just me that would have liked 50/50.

We do 50/50, I have the dc Tues to Fri one week, then Wed to Sun the next do we each get a full weekend with them (and without them) and we both do school runs. I don't think it has negatively affected them and we live close enough that when they're older they can choose where they want to be easily. Works for us!

Yes!! Would love to have 50/50... but there is no way he could manage their emotional wellbeing enough to have that much time with them.

i love that it works for some people but hate that like me, the other parent isn't in a position to provide adequate care...

Yes we have it and I love it! Most importantly DD is very happy. Ex is a brilliant dad and she's equally attached to both of us. I love the free time I get. Elder DS's dad was a waste of space and raised him completely on my own- I remember how hard it was. I do get on well with ex though and we co-parent very amicably and are flexible with each other if plans need to change.

@MyOtherCarisAVauxhallZafira it definitely is the best option for DD. Ex was very much a hands on parent as soon as she was born and always pulled his weight. She is very close to both her dad and to me and misses us both if she goes too long without seeing us.

I’m glad to see so many people saying they have it and like it, it’s always spoken about so negatively on here so it’s refreshing to hear and I’m glad it’s not just me who feels this way. I would miss my kids but don’t see that as a bad thing would make me appreciate the time together more.

My brother and his ex do this (well, he has my nephew for 4 days a week) and it works very well for them both and their son.

50/50 works if the parents still live close and have a positive co-parenting relationship. It doesn’t if there is conflict or other issues :( I have friends who co parent brilliant and one of their children the 50/50 wasn’t working so they worked together to resolve for their child.

I love my children but I know they would want to spend as much time with their Dad as with me if we were to split. Bringing them up though he has always been involved and shared drop off etc

We have 50/50 with my partner’s ex wife, everyone has school runs etc and weekends are alternate.

It works, but to be honest they do coparent really well!

I’ve done 50:50 with my exh since we separated. I strongly believed it was best for our child to have solid attachment to us both, as her parents. Some years down the line, she’s a very happy child and the arrangement works well.

I’m definitely in the minority I reckon, my exH has our DC more than I do!! Mainly down to logistics and ease for school and college!

My daughter does 50/50 with her ex and has done for 10 years. She their kids love it. They do live a 5 minute walk from each other though which helps and are both flexible without taking the piss
You have to love your children more than you dislike each other...

Baby/toddler stage? No teen stage? Yes 😂 pre teen stage? Yes 😂

Sadly I have a jerk for an ex who cut his own children off

I have this, I didn’t even have to ask because despite my ex letting me down in our relationship he is a great dad and I don’t believe for one minute that the dc would be better off only seeing him EOW, I think they would have ground that hard to be honest. We live 5 minutes apart and we do 5-2-2-5 split. It works well for all of us.

50/50 is pretty much the ideal but I guess it doesn't work for everyone. My exh works in a school 7.30-3.30 so he has never been able to do school runs. My youngest is also in a special needs unit so no after school provision.
Having 3 children with additional needs I think they would find one week with each parent a bit too much, they need one stable house as their base.
It's great that it does work for so many families though. I think it's so important kids keep a good relationship with both parents.

I wanted 50/50 but he refused as he did not want the kids to interfer with his cycling !!!

Are your kids quite young OP? Things might turn around when they're slightly older if you remain positive about him and keep the door open. Some guys are just crap when kids are young and other things are going on in their life.

( In not putting this all on you btw - it's totally shit and unfair).

I had child primarily with me with one day at wknd with dad. We've now changed due to my health circumstances and I see child one day a week, sometimes not for a few weeks. He's at the age where he's really enjoying time with dad and bonding over lots of shared activity and adventures.

It's incredibly difficult and upsetting when fathers show little to no interest. At some point, I believe those dad's will regret it.

No they aren’t young, they are teens/ preteens and youngest is 7. It wont change now the teens now want nothing to do with him he’s not really been involved for years but no contact at all for nearly 2 years.

Yeah I understand this i dont think I would have wanted to with a baby or toddler but mine are older and I would happily wave them off for a week 😂

@Clumsy12345 ok, yeah that ship has probably sailed now. I hope you're just incredibly proud of yourself for doing it completely alone with zero input from another parent. It is one of the toughest things to do and you are doing it. Your time will come soon and it will be well earned with kids who will know how great you are.

Over my dead body.

I don't have an ex, but I've been the child in this situation, 3 nights with one parent 4 with the other

I do 50/50, week on, week off and it works fine. Kids are happy. We used to do 4-4-3-3 but that didn't work as well and was too much moving around.
Now they are getting old enough to choose where to be (driving etc) they still stick mainly to the pattern which is a good sign I think.
I couldn't have done more than 50/50 without major upheaval to my job so it works for me and I wouldn't want them more because the stress of trying to juggle it would be too much and probably I'd enjoy the time with them less.

You’re arguing the same point from different perspectives. Both of you are saying it’s better for the parents.

The other poster is just saying that from her experience as a child in this situation it wasn’t great.

Yes and I grew up as a child from a lone parent and that wasnt great either. In fact it was awful. We all have different experiences and opinions and mines is that 50/50 is the ideal.