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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

I can't do this anymore

13 replies

ponderingisgood · 15/08/2024 06:05

I am literally on a knife edge, existing on 2 hours sleep a night.
Navigating divorce, a new job, moving house in next 3 weeks, dealing with the rental contract, DC, mediation....
I am falling down a rabbit hole and am not sure I can cope any longer.

Blood pressure sky high and I am so anxious it is impacting my new job. That in turn just makes things worse. I work 45 hours a week and there just isn't enough hours in the day to get my head round what needs to be done.

OP posts:
DuskandDawn · 15/08/2024 06:07

You can do this. One step at a time. Just concentrate on doing the "next" thing. This is the hardest bit right now. But you've made it this far, and I promise you are strong enough to make it the rest of the way. I believe in you.

Browniesandcustard · 15/08/2024 06:20

I second what @DuskandDawn said. One small step at a time.
If it helps, make a list of what you need to do (seeing as you have so much going on).
I totally get where you’re at but try and keep in the back of your mind that things will get sorted out and it will start to get better. Flowers

Original poster
ponderingisgood · 15/08/2024 06:51

I can't stop crying. I am so scared I going to make a mistake at work and lose my job

It's just too overwhelming

OP posts:
Original poster
ponderingisgood · 15/08/2024 07:18

I am still under the same roof as Ex and he is bullying me in agreeing financial terms as he's made an offer on a house.

I can't escape any of it

OP posts:
Enko · 15/08/2024 07:21

You have almost come out of this. You have done so well to get here. One last push and he won't be there every day

Every time he brings up the financial order just say. "I am leaving this for mediation" if he persists then just go mmm. If je goes into "I'm just asking x thing etc" just repeat "I am leaving this for mediation" be a broken record and don't allow him to bully you. You have got the strength.

Browniesandcustard · 15/08/2024 08:18

@ponderingisgood is it worth having a chat with your gp and getting something to just take the edge off things for you short term?
Have you taken legal advice? If not then do it asap. My solicitor, whilst not cheap, has been a godsend.
i do understand how tricky the bullying is but just repeat what was said above and know you can do this.

LemonTT · 15/08/2024 08:52

You need to at least see a GP and talk to your employer about the stress you are under at home. There are many options for dealing with this situation and you need to seek the help that exists.

fwiw sky high blood pressure doesn’t just require a doctor it requires emergency care. I don’t know whether you are being metaphorical or factual. But a sky high reading is a very serious medical condition.

BlueBorrage · 15/08/2024 12:37

Sounds like you are nearly at the end of the tunnel. This point only do what you have to. If you have beans on toast or takeaways everyday because its easier, just do it. Only do what is needed and prioritise sleep. Last thing you want is stroke due to high blood pressure and you need to get it checked asap. Also like said above speak to your manager. If you need some time off due to stress dont feel bad, better that than messing up at work due to stress leading to problems further down. You know your limits and you need to prioritise your well being for sake of your child.
You will get there!

Original poster
ponderingisgood · 15/08/2024 12:53

Thank you.

I have been bombarded at work this morning by messages with all kinds of threats about getting the conveyance solicitor to withhold funds if I don't agree to his terms today.
That if he loses this house because of me any further communication will go solely through solicitors and I will lose more money.

I have vomitted twice and can't focus on anything.

OP posts:
Browniesandcustard · 15/08/2024 14:49

Ok, so I had this a bit.

I told my ex he was not to contact me between 8am and 5pm. I then blocked his number during these hours.

you dont have to agree to anything at this stage. Keep all messages (screenshot and send to an email address if needs be) and speak to police about coercive control. They took my issues very seriously.

Iworkmiricles · 15/08/2024 16:20

You need to speak to your employer. As with any physical illness, they have an obligation to look after your mental wellbeing too.
Speak to your GP and get signed off on the sick, that's what it's there for.

It's a hard thing to swallow, but it is only money. You can earn more money, but your health is more important.

Original poster
ponderingisgood · 15/08/2024 18:08

Iworkmiricles · 15/08/2024 16:20

You need to speak to your employer. As with any physical illness, they have an obligation to look after your mental wellbeing too.
Speak to your GP and get signed off on the sick, that's what it's there for.

It's a hard thing to swallow, but it is only money. You can earn more money, but your health is more important.

I've only been in my job 3 months - I can't go off sick, they'll sack me

OP posts:
LemonTT · 15/08/2024 23:48

You may not have to go off sick. There are other ways your doctor and employer can help.

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