Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Ex wanting gifts back

63 replies

bluesea7 · 13/03/2024 19:56

Hi there, just looking for some advice please.

Ex and I split 3 months ago. We share a 3 year old together.

He has text this evening with a list of items he wants to collect on Sunday.

Items in the list include our daughter's bike and gifts he gave my eldest daughter. The pram and baby seat in the loft. Baby Annabelle dummy and bottle? The list goes on.

Now as he bought them I can see it from that view but just feel it's really petty?

I'm willing to put everything he's asked for out for him to collect.

OP posts:
TuliLily · 13/03/2024 19:57

Maybe he means for when they come to his house?

HeddaGarbled · 13/03/2024 19:58

That’s just vindictive. I’d ignore him. His personal belongings only.

Kw1234hhggf · 13/03/2024 19:58

Absolutely not! Tell him to go fuck himself.

vodkaredbullgirl · 13/03/2024 19:59

Don't do it.

Mmmmdanone · 13/03/2024 19:59

Is he having your dd 50/50? Might just be that he wants stuff for her to play with but obviously you need that too.
It's petty to take stuff that he "paid" for as surely when he bought it , it was with family money.

Original poster
bluesea7 · 13/03/2024 20:00

TuliLily · 13/03/2024 19:57

Maybe he means for when they come to his house?

I'm not sure why he would need a pram and baby car seat when our daughter is 3? He also has no contact with my eldest daughter. She is 11 and he said he might see her as a friend once a month after we split. We were together 4 years.

OP posts:
Illpickthatup · 13/03/2024 20:01

I'm sure legally, something purchased as a gift can't be claimed back.

Purpledragonz · 13/03/2024 20:01

bluesea7 · 13/03/2024 20:00

I'm not sure why he would need a pram and baby car seat when our daughter is 3? He also has no contact with my eldest daughter. She is 11 and he said he might see her as a friend once a month after we split. We were together 4 years.

Show quote history

Think that's his way of telling you he's ready to move on and start over with someone else
petty
I'd just give them back

LittleGreenDragons · 13/03/2024 20:02

Whoever has the children the most (RP) gets to keep the children's items unless they are duplicates. Otherwise he can pay for a court order.

EDIT - Oh, you mentioned a pram. I'm guessing he's playing mind games so you think he's having a baby with someone else. Idk then OP, maybe mind game him back and say court order first please, or say you binned it in a spring clean?

Original poster
bluesea7 · 13/03/2024 20:03

Mmmmdanone · 13/03/2024 19:59

Is he having your dd 50/50? Might just be that he wants stuff for her to play with but obviously you need that too.
It's petty to take stuff that he "paid" for as surely when he bought it , it was with family money.

He has my youngest every other weekend and Wednesdays overnight. He lives in a holiday caravan to avoid council tax bills etc as cheaper to live. Which he is renting out next month and no idea where my daughter will be staying during his time. He also skips out on his time with her as he went snowboarding last month and end of this month he's off to turkey to get his teeth done.

OP posts:
Mummame222 · 13/03/2024 20:04

gifts he gave my eldest daughter.

he has no legal right to this.

Ignore him.

Also, you might be willing to hand them over but their not actually yours to give, they belong to your daughter.

vodkaredbullgirl · 13/03/2024 20:05

Hope they pull all his teeth out.

RogueFemale · 13/03/2024 20:05

Yes petty. But I would just give him the stuff. He's only doing it because he wants you to argue; don't give him the satisfaction. Walk away, say nothing. Nothing more infuriating.

Scottishskifun · 13/03/2024 20:05

Some of these things are ridiculous requesting to take away a child's bike is petty and mean same with toys!

Just refuse he has no right to this sort of stuff they aren't his belongings

notthatkindofFatCat · 13/03/2024 20:07

Well he's clearly a prince but I see no harm in letting him come a declutter your loft. I wouldn't be going up there for him, nor waste my breath giving a reaction either.

Andipxs · 13/03/2024 20:07

Blimey, not the gifts he bought for your 11 year old. You can’t take gifts back from a child.

NoDramas · 13/03/2024 20:07

Could he be looking to sell them to make some spare cash?

Could he be passing them on to friend or family member?

Could he have moved on from your relationship into a new relationship that has an unexpected pregnancy?

OhcantthInkofaname · 13/03/2024 20:10

Just tell him NO.

Starlightstarbright3 · 13/03/2024 20:11

I would give him the stuff you no longer use - pram/ car seat .

The rest belongs to your DD’s so no to them

Starlightstarbright3 · 13/03/2024 20:12

Can see why he is your ex

Original poster
bluesea7 · 13/03/2024 20:13

NoDramas · 13/03/2024 20:07

Could he be looking to sell them to make some spare cash?

Could he be passing them on to friend or family member?

Could he have moved on from your relationship into a new relationship that has an unexpected pregnancy?

Yes probably to sell. He sold my sofas he had at his mums without my permission. He does not need the money. He earns £250 a day cash in hand. Has a lot of savings. I think it's more to spite me or stop me clearing out an old pram and selling on.
That's not even on my mind. It's in the loft and I can't get up there. I've no idea with any relationship etc and prefer not to know as it's none of my concern now.

OP posts:
HeddaGarbled · 13/03/2024 20:15

There is great power in not arguing, not responding in any way at all and just not doing anything you don’t want to do. It’s called passive resistance and it is effective and satisfying.

Original poster
bluesea7 · 13/03/2024 20:16

HeddaGarbled · 13/03/2024 20:15

There is great power in not arguing, not responding in any way at all and just not doing anything you don’t want to do. It’s called passive resistance and it is effective and satisfying.

Do I not reply to his message then? He wants to collect Sunday. Do I just put his personal belongings out or everything just to be done with it?

OP posts:
Mmmmdanone · 13/03/2024 20:17

bluesea7 · 13/03/2024 20:03

He has my youngest every other weekend and Wednesdays overnight. He lives in a holiday caravan to avoid council tax bills etc as cheaper to live. Which he is renting out next month and no idea where my daughter will be staying during his time. He also skips out on his time with her as he went snowboarding last month and end of this month he's off to turkey to get his teeth done.

Show quote history

Omg what a loser! Can't afford to house himself but spends on holidays and fake teeth? Give him nothing then, and if you don't know where your daughter is staying when with him then surely she can't go.

Scaffoldingisugly · 13/03/2024 20:18

Make sure you wear huge shades when he comes a knocking.....