Parents split when I was about 9/10. They lived nearby whilst we were all kids which helped re. practicalities of school, handovers etc.
A few things I would say...
. Have bits like PJ's, dressing gown, underwear, activities, toothbrush at each house less to cart between each others and makes it feel like you are more than a guest hopefully.
. As others have said make sure they have a proper bedroom space etc. that is theirs.
. Get a routine set up as soon as possible re. contact so that they know from the off what is happening even if it takes some getting used to (i.e. we used to have one weekday overnight and every other weekend and this was always reliable)
. Have all bits they may need for school homework etc. at each home so don't have to try to faff around finding paper, glue, pens etc.
. Don't slate the other parent in front of your children and keep any conflicts or disputes between the adults. This includes at handovers etc. I don't remember many occasions of bickering between my parents when they were at handovers but you can bet the ones they did I remember and it was not appropriate.
. Seek any emotional support from friends / family as appropriate and don't involve your children in this. My mum would discuss adult matters between her and my dad with my elder sibling who was a teenager at the time and that was not fair or appropriate for them to have to be exposed to this and to have this responsibility for my mum's emotional support.
. Ensure both of you are included in parent evening, Parent Mail, school apps and emails etc. so you can be equally involved in your children's education. If you need to have arrangements for separate parent evening etc. then communicate with this with school to sort this out and so they know the situation.
. Don't use your children as the messenger if you need to confirm arrangements / discuss anything you contact one another directly or through appropriate 3rd party if needed. Same for handovers.
. Consider ways they can keep in touch with the other parent whilst at yours and vice versa, phone call, WhatsApp maybe when they are older as it can be a lot of time without the other parent.
. Keep a respectful and positive response to them discussing the other parent and do discuss them where appropriate so that they feel able to do so, I always felt a little awkward discussing the other parent even in normal typical conversation and this would have made it easier.
. Don't put your children in the position of feeling they have to choose between you both. My mum still has a chip on her shoulder re. my dad understandably given what went on but will make comments even years later which even as an adult I shut down this conversation and say I get it but it isn't fair to put me in this position when either way you are both my parents, end of conversation. If you need to vent do it to someone else and not in front of your children.
. Don't point score - at the end of the day your children will make up their own assessment of the right or wrongs and they have the right to make this assessment as they get older of what they think of you both and what relationship they want, and if you have kept neutral you can keep your head high that you have let them make their own choices and they will figure this out.
. Maybe consider CAFCASS parenting plan as a point of discussion for you and other parent to get on the same page where possible
. Have clear expectations re. things like washing of clothes, dinner, handover time etc. I know it used to drive my mum balmy when dad would return us late or with all our clothes needing washing or needing a snack / dinner etc (dad wasn't neglectful just to be clear but just didn't think and then my mum would have this all to deal with as well as several tired grumpy kids).
. Have things like coats, wellies, etc. at each house as these were always the bits we needed to pick up from the other house as forgot!
. Have a joint calendar for you both with all kid related bits like school, clubs, parties etc. My view would be whichever parents night / weekend it is would be expected to do these bits if it falls with their time with kids unless good reason, you are both equally parents so should be doing these parts as well
. There are co parenting apps which can be helpful
. Think about how belongings will be transported between each place (only anything essential they cannot have one of at each place), my view is that it is not appropriate for them to be traipsing bags etc. to school but may be unavoidable
. Ensure they have proper overnight bag they can use
. Be flexible where possible and compromise if at all possible, pick your battles with any conflicts. This is co-parenting and where possible requires give and take. No arrangement is going to cover all situs or forsee all issues and will need to be prepared to compromise on both sides (not always I know!)
. Ultimately your children will be okay!
. Accept that possibly the other parent will do things at their house that you might not at yours, again pick your battles, unless it is a genuine safeguarding or safety issue then sometimes you may have to just roll with it, and do things how you want to do them in your own home as somethings you just cannot control.
. As an aside, with regard to the legal side of things, remember you need the financial order as well, not just the legal divorce!
Hope that helps 🙂