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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

reasonable split

4 replies

Cherish20 · 30/10/2023 11:35

It has been a difficult journey representing myself in CAO and now proceeding to financial matters. EXH came to the UK with nothing by virtue of his marriage to me. Married for 9 years , 5 children between 9 to 4.I have a lives with order and would have them majority of the time.
Assets abroad and worth more than twice the equity in the house. While we have been married he has secretly built assets abroad. He also received refund of a payment toward a land i purchased in 2012 which is now worth about £7500. He has a farmland which we both know exist and i have documents to it as well as a completed building and email discussions referring to the property and building. All these are not disclosed in form e and they are being denied.
I have always worked full time and that was how i was able to sponsor him into the UK. I suspended my pension for to live on my salary. In addition, i have been expected to contribute to the household as though i am working when on maternity leave. Claims on form e have not been substantiated by my EXH . he cannot provide evidence and continues to lie. He has 5 sources of income which he has not disclosed. lecturer, extra tuition, buying and selling cars from auction and not paying tax, ebay sales and now SIA registered as door to door security.
He has afforded to go on holiday twice a year on his own. Never been on holiday as a couple nor taken the children on holiday.
Child maintenance is defaulted as we speak, and during the trial proceedings he was not following through contact. I am to have the children full time with every other weekend which he has unlikely to commit. The 3 weeks summer holidays was breached and he was abroad for 4 weeks. The evidence suggest that EXH will not commit to contact for me to be able to take on extra job. He will always be able to earn more. Christmas and Easter was not ordered as has never spend such occassions with the children. ( ages 9.8 5 and 4x2)!
He has never been obligated to provide the children and actually does not wish to provide for the twins which was my choice to have. I have always worked full time , managed child care and paid for child care.
He owes me two years of not paying for child care, proceeds for disposition of assets abroad , disposition of refund of my asset abroad and dishonest about it for over 5 years.

LAW- 2 failed FDR .One was not productive had to move courts . Infact a Judge turned round and told me the other alternative was to stay married ! All documents filed and served were not uploaded to the Court system . The case had to move to another court and having waited for 10 months judge phoned in sick on the day. Barrister cost lost!. He is not represented so can waste time and delay . Administrative errors on my case by the court admin and complaint not been responded to. Complained to my MP.
Income is being reduced even on child maintenance now and we all know that the gaps in self employed means that he can in future not pay me nothing.

He has increased the value to £130 000 more . He is offering
a sale and devide it 50/50 , i buy him out 50/50 or stay until 14 years and a he takes 40 % after sale. I have not seen his pension despite requests in almost 2 years yet he has seen all mine . I am asking for a pension sharing order to offset.Asking for the court to draw adverse inferences and pinalise him for lying and fraudulent claims.
3rd Party disclosure application made since January 2023 no response.

Independent valuator is required after 4 estate agents valuing around the same.

People's experiences and outcomes are welcome . The courts are really adding to my stress . So far not been heard by the court. ( Litigant in Person)

Thanks for reading this far.

OP posts:
FSTraining · 30/10/2023 11:49

Why was the first FDR unproductive and what would prompt a judge to tell you the alternative was to stay married?

Cherish20 · 30/10/2023 12:08

We were still at disclosure stage and EXH had refused to disclose information required. I was shocked at what the judge said. SHE even went on to say that i was applying for MPS and that it was not to fund a life style!. I was stereotyped as a mother of 5 and did not have insight into my financial situation and assumed i did not work. It was as though she had prior discussions with my EXH BEFORE which i know that was not the case. She did not help matters . Telling me that even if my exh went to prison for failure to disclose it would not solve matters. She also said she is an England and Wales Judge and did not deal with international assets ...that gave him more ammunitions . I could not believe my eyes i was more broken compared to the years of abuse i suffered!

OP posts:
FSTraining · 30/10/2023 14:39

I'm a bit sceptical about her comments about international assets. Her comments about MPS sound a bit more plausible nowadays, judges really don't like dealing with maintenance (my personal theory is that maintenance is the issue that kept bringing people back to a backlogged court room so the court seized social changes to largely bring it to an end and free up capacity).

Cherish20 · 30/10/2023 14:49

FSTraining · 30/10/2023 14:39

I'm a bit sceptical about her comments about international assets. Her comments about MPS sound a bit more plausible nowadays, judges really don't like dealing with maintenance (my personal theory is that maintenance is the issue that kept bringing people back to a backlogged court room so the court seized social changes to largely bring it to an end and free up capacity).

The maintenance pending suit is to get the ex to pay childcare and his part of the equal mortgage contributions and bills while he continues to remain in the .FM. He was also not providing food for the children neither was he paying me any maintenance as he would if he was not living in the house. Under the disguise of a shared care arrangements which is not. He accrued gas and electric bill of £2600 while i have remained committed to council tax and water, and all other things .His share of equal mortgage and utility bills

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