Final Hearing in the divorce proceeding.

[woolyjenny]

Hi,
We are going through a toxic divorce and we just cant come to a conclusion.
Yes it will cost alot of money, but I fell that I deserve more than his offer. We have been married for nearly 20 years , nobody else involved. He started questioning me about the amount of money I was spending, as if he cant afford it, anyway I was wondering if any body has reached the final hearing and whether they have any tips to share with me. What kind of things are discussed?
did any one come out quite well?
Is it is as brutal as made out? Thankyou if you are willing to share.

Following with interest

Assuming this is England and Wales. Difficult to say whether it is worth it unless I know your ages, incomes, assets, liabilities, children (and ages) and what you're asking for.

Hi thank you for responding.
My husband is just over 100,000 i work part time i do have good education, they keep saying i have good earning capacity. My part time from home brings in £,3,500 a month and of course his 1500 for the boys 18 and 16, he has been giving me spousal for 2 years making the 1500 to 3800. we have not got alot of equity due to legal fees for both of us. 280,000.
Do you know whether they bring up previous infidelity on my behalf things like that. I have alot of credit card debt which i have accrued since the seperation.

Yes this is Wales

Sorry i am 45 and he is 47

What's his offer?

Have I got this right... you've been receiving, in total, over £7000 a month in earnings, child maintenance, and spousal? If so, how on earth have you accrued credit card debts?!

Nothing much in that to suggest any other than a 50/50 split in equity really.

You’ll continue to receive child payments as per the calculator.

And they’re quite right that you have good earning potential, if you’re making £55k from a part time job and your youngest is 16.

Nothing about fault/blame will come up.

it’s purely about balancing the needs of each of you.

What about pensions?

You’re obviously paying for good legal representation. Listen to them. Make sure your expectations are realistic.

Spousal is not common and tends to be time limited unless very specific needs and/or very high incomes, we are talking multiples of £100k.

To give you an idea, dps ex had spousal awarded for 5 years significantly below the amount you quoted to enable her space to return to full time work.

As your dc are nearly adults unless there's a drip feed about sn or disability they will assume you can increase to full time and you fte will be decent already.

My advice would be to ensure you write support for your dc through university into the agreement and take what he's offering for spousal because I'm really unsure whether you would get anything in court.

I know someone who has basically lost everything fighting her ex and she now rents a housing association place. The courts go for clean break wherever possible. Listen to your legal counsel and perhaps seek a second opinion

"woolyjenny · Today 14:00
Hi,
We are going through a toxic divorce and we just cant come to a conclusion.
Yes it will cost alot of money, but I fell that I deserve more than his offer."

Why do you feel that way?

"woolyjenny · Today 14:45

"i work part time i do have good education, they keep saying i have good earning capacity. "

Yes, this will be 100% taken into consideration, especially now since your children are almost adults.

"woolyjenny · Today 14:45

My part time from home brings in £,3,500 a month and of course his 1500 for the boys 18 and 16, he has been giving me spousal for 2 years making the 1500 to 3800."

As somebody else pointed out, you are already receiving £7000 approx per month. Plus the spousal maintenance may stop considering you can go full time.

"woolyjenny · Today 14:45

Do you know whether they bring up previous infidelity on my behalf things like that. I have alot of credit card debt which i have accrued since the seperation."

They might and if your ex has made you multiple offers and you refused it, then they will potray you as unreasonable.

Credit card debit is not their problem, if they can show the judge that you have been unreasonable.

I am being truthful i thought that it would help my cas

"gotomomo · Today 15:02

My advice would be to ensure you write support for your dc through university into the agreement and take what he's offering for spousal because I'm really unsure whether you would get anything in court. "

The dc can take a loan if need be and does not have to rely on the parents income to complete university.

Hopefully both the parents will be there to support their children.

Despite SEN DC12 in the mix and seriously strong legal representation, the outcome of a family friend’s divorce failed to secure a Mesher order or spousal maintenance.

It did however see almost the full value of a pension (SIPP) being transferred from one party to the other.

Being truthful is your duty to a court. Not something that scores you points.

Thank you everyone who has responded to my posts.

Hi, 70/30 in my favour and £2500/month for 3yrs, hardly enough?

Hi, 70/30 in my favour and £2500/month for 3yrs, hardly enough?

The court will have no interest in infidelity and the cheapest route is a no fault divorce.

Can I please clarify, is he currently paying you £3.8k a month in spousal and child maintenance and what exactly is he earning (is it closer to £100k or £150k?)

🤣 what more do you want? Blood?

OMG!

I don't know your full circumstances but based on what you have written so far, you are being unreasonable to ask for more.

Goodness, 3.5k a month, part-time from home - please tell me what work that is so I too can try!