How did you work out child maintenance amount?

[Coffee473]

My exH is throwing his toys out of the pram about maintenance and thinks the amount I have asked him for, using the government child
maintenance calculator here https://www.gov.uk/calculate-child-maintenance is too high.

According to him he’s “asked around” and most people don’t use that, they just use a figure that works for them. He also doesn’t think he needs to pay anything extra (such as cost of school dinners, uniform etc) despite the fact that he has them 3 nights a week.

For context, he is a very high earner (over £100k) so the amount is probably higher than a lot of people.

I have no idea who he has been asking, probably the various single mums he has dated. But just out of curiosity, if you are divorced/separated, how have you worked out the maintenance costs?

@AndSoFinally but she can build her own career (even though she doesn't want to) little minx :/

Hi, can someone help me My ex partner is planning to move an hour and 10 minutes away from me? I currently don’t drive so I’ll have to get the train to fetch my daughter to bring her back. I pay child maintenance how’s does it work? do I deduct any money of that or is it just out my pocket. asking for some help please thankyou

You need to start your own thread but travelling is usually undertaken by the person who moves. Ring CMS about expenses. Start a thread of your own and you'll get more advice.

My ex asked around what other people were paying forgetting that their income was different. After not paying for anything for four months he offered £200 I said it was to little, for three dc.
To be honest I didn't ask for anything the first few months as he was house and very stressed. The tax year before I saw he his p60 and I didn't want to struggle unnecessarily for to long.

The £200 offer was a slap in the face. He then handed me that money in front of dc and when I tried to refuse ds1 asked me why was I refusing money I accepted it and brought some uniform with it. My ex wanted a receipt for how I spent the £200. The great thing about cm is that you don't need to prove where the money you receive went. There is no one questioning where the money went.

After ex told me off or not buying cost effective uniform and I finally stood up for myself. He decided he didn't want to argue with me anymore and called cm on himself. His income was down by 20k by then. He did get angry that he forced to pay nearly £800 a month. I got some verbal abuse regarding it, despite him being the person who applied for it. He tried to ask for receipt, I told him no! The cm woman said I didn't need to do that.

Ex has now changed job, I'm not expecting that money to last long. Ex has been paying on time and hasn't mentioned it to me again. Minus asking for pack lunch for the dc when he takes them out. Because it is expensive feeding them food twice a week. He dosent have any nights with them, but he has them twice a week for around 4hr.

I think maintenance is hard to get right.

It strikes me that the number is too high. If it weren’t , there would be no incentive to go for increased contact to save money, which a lot of people seem to do.

However, there are a lot of shared voluntary and involuntary costs (tutoring, extra curricular hobbies and sports, school uniforms etc) that depend on good will to be shared fairly.

I think that there is no point in arguing over these. If you want your child to do something and can afford it, pay for it (I do). You can ask the other parent for half, but they aren’t obliged to pay. And going to war over it serves no one well, least of all the children.

OP, if you feel the CSA amount is genuinely fair, enforce it. I would send a polite and factual e mail explaining the costs and how the CSA amount goes towards these costs and not engage in further debate.

It was agreed in our divorce that we’d use the CM calculator every April. I suspected my ex had forged his p60. I went through CM, it cost me £20 and they check via HMRC every year. It turned out he was lying, it went up by a third.
since I’ve done that he refuses to pay for half of clubs and childcare in holidays. But I’m still much better off than the measly amount he wanted me to receive.

HELLO......... this thread is from OCTOBER LAST YEAR !!!

To OP

Contact the CMS ASAP as the amount they calculate your ex should pay will be effective from the date you make the application and can't be backdated. It can be done by phone, but have as much information about your ex to hand before you call. Full name, date of birth and ideally his National Insurance number.

If your ex is a high earner, he may go for a 50:50 shared care arrangement as he would not be liable for any child maintenance payments. That seems harsh if one parent earns a lot more than the other, but that's how it works.

Off topic, but if your ex is a high earner speak to a solicitor about the possibility of spousal maintenance.

Good luck.