Life after divorce: how are you both living now?

[MistyBay]

I am curious to know how life ended up for you - your X too - after separation/divorce.

what’s in store for us newbies?

@LadyWhineglass im so intrigued by your story! Is he unwell, your X? What was the trigger? And how long has it been? Why did your friends choose you above him?

I'm 13 years post divorce/separation, We are both single now, I had a dp for 5 years but he died & I made the decision I wanted to remain single. Exh has been single ever since we split, I saw him for the first time in 4 years at ds wedding, he has MS & is in a wheelchair, my first thought was whatever did I ever see in him, I had absolutely no feelings for him, the only good thing that came out of our marriage was ds.

As PP, no idea what he’s doing. I’ve been divorced from him longer than I was married to him.

I’m married and living happily, my DC with ex are grown up going to uni, are amazing people who I love being with.

And I’ve grown raspberries in the garden. Ridiculous brag, but ex paved over the garden in the house we lived in and I’ve never had a garden before, I love my tiny little garden with grass and roses and my ridiculous attempts at growing fruit and veg.

LordWhineglass had plenty of equity from the sale of our house and he also had a good job at the time of our divorce I did read about him a year later when he’d made a major f up at work and had to be escorted out of the building by security. He then sold up and moved to the shack (when I say “hut” it is actually made of brick but it’s very run down. There’s no way I would ever live there).

He also had an inappropriate sexual relationship with his best friend’s 16 year old niece (he was 36 - yes, ugh ugh ugh ugh disgusting man) so all his friends dropped him, unsurprisingly. He now lives alone whilst I have remarried the loveliest man alive.

Is he unwell? Only as much as the typical psycho narcissist sociopath is. He had a very cruel streak so ain’t karma a bitch.

@LadyWhineglass

is he Russel Brand? What an absolute dose! Brilliant that you have found a true love. You are lucky.

@frazzledasarock

to garden is to sow seeds of hope. I feel the satisfaction in your little act of defiance to your X, in reclaiming your right to garden! The bounty may be small now, but out of acorns and all that.

@Nat6999

that you went on to find a new DH only for him to pass away is extremely distressing to hear. I’m sorry to hear it. But at least you experienced a happy relationship after the disappointment of your first marriage. Also tough for your x though. Would not wish MS on anyone.

Lol, I am definitely not the ex Mrs B!

People do the strangest things sometimes!

I just love this story about your garden frazzledasarock and how you reclaimed it back as your own. 🌷🌷🌷.

My sister is married to someone who controls what she grows in the garden, even though she has earned equally all of their married life. She’s a magnificent cook and he won’t let her plant herbs fhs! (I am making him sound awful but he’s not all bad by any means!) I would just love her though to dig a massive Foxtrot Oscar asparagus bed in the middle of their lawn or something! 😀

Ex was very controlling and abusive. The garden thing was a tiny aspect of it.

When DH and I moved into our house together I was a little sad the garden was all decking. DH took the decking apart gave it away (to very grateful local neighbours), and we spent lockdown creating a garden I’ve always really really wanted.

I kill mint normally, you have no idea how utterly delirious I feel being able to grow fruit/herbs and veg.

I think your sister should totally grow a load of courgettes in the middle of the lawn, I grew courgettes last summer from seeds MIL gave me… then realised I don’t particularly like eating them 😆😆😆😆

No clue re my ex (we have no kids and nothing connects us so we lost touch shortly after). I am happier than ever. I remarried a wonderful man. We have a child and live a really nice life.
shortly after the divorce my career blossomed too as I could focus and not have to consider anyone else.
you got this!

Separated 2years today and life has been wonderful without him.
I'm applying for my divorce in next few days but meanwhile enjoying living with my cats and having the house to myself( bought him out).
I have a new dp too but we're both happy living apart.

Ex: I've seen him a handful of times only.
Renting about an hours drive away.
Not sure if he's working but he was never great at keeping a job.