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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Parental alienation

57 replies

wildlingtribe · 15/09/2023 09:08

Anyone have any advice on being at the receiving end?

OP posts:
Wontgiveup · 04/12/2023 11:52

My ex has not let me see my children for 11 months, despite over 100 requests since February. She turns down every request, then sends letters via her solicitor saying "I'm not stopping you seeing them"
I work staggered shifts and she won't be flexible, instead offering fixed afternoons on the same day each week, and when I agree to that, she then refuses to let me have them.
Social services are not interested, despite sending them loads of information regarding PA. In some countries it is illegal and others it is considered a mental illness.

wildlingtribe · 24/12/2023 22:23

Christmas tomorrow and my eldest couldn't be less fussed at spending time together. I've tried so many times, I did 1:1 dates with them all but she declined her offer.

I'm also sick of him seeming to "win" all the time. Trophy Dad comes out top trumps everytime. He doesn't provide for them, I haven't ever had a penny off him since the split and he just manages to be top.
Sorry if this sounds petty, it's just exhausting being at battle with him and his mother who seem to have pots of money despite not doing an honest days work.

I'm also at a cross roads for where to take this in the new year.

I've had intro to mediation, he's been contacted but refuses to answer the phone or email to them.
the school have tried to contact him but no reply.

im also worried as he smokes cannabis and drinks at times. my kids come back stinking of it. as far as im aware he doesn't smoke around them but the smell of weed is in the house and then gets on the clothes.
how haven't the school noticed this?? if i say something in petrified it will make the kids been flagged up by the social.

the two eldest children have learnt themselves what 'THAT' smell is exactly. as they're not silly and are in upper school. also if i mention these things - im petrified it will only push the eldest further away from me.

she looks right through me like im dead.
i go to the door and she has the same level of excuses "im cold, i dont want to come out, i need to do this, do that.

i went to the door today and she had the same excuses, reluctant to speak. he said "shut the door the heat is going out, she said mums here, then she just changed the subject, he walked past me as i asked her if she was coming home for a bit even if for a few hours to have some time and she said no. he walked past and back in the hoise and they both went in and closed the door.

OP posts:
Winni208 · 31/07/2025 09:24

@Catsafterme
@wildlingtribe
@RayahB
@Freezingcoldinseptember

Holding hope given thread is old, have things changed for you?

I am hoping some of you are still active. I've read the entire thread and it was heartbreaking, I hope things are better for you all. This has just happened to me with 2 teen DS been with me all their life, started a divorce, they went to see their dad, and never came back it's been 3 months, no contact at all. Words cannot describe how painful it is.

wildlingtribe · 31/07/2025 09:49

@Winni208Thank you for messaging. It’s still much the same here, 2/4 children gone 💔💔💔

OP posts:
wildlingtribe · 31/07/2025 09:51

@Winni208Im so sorry this is happening to you too. It’s a very isolating place to be, the emotions are so vast aren’t they? Have you got much support? I feel the system has failed me so much so far and court doesn’t seem like an option given the ages of the teens and also the fact it’s hard to prove emotional turmoil. Solicitor has basically said this.

OP posts:
Winni208 · 31/07/2025 10:00

@wildlingtribe oh my goodness, I'm so sorry, I really hoped things would've got better. And now two of your dc. I really feel for you. It's the most unfathomable pain. I'm starting to think things are not going to change for me either, I have been fighting it through the legal route, but given their ages I've been told to accept it's their wishes and thats it. How can you do that. My ex has convictions for dv, and I think he's turned them against me. I'm told it's very common in abusive people.

wildlingtribe · 31/07/2025 17:15

@Winni208It’s soul destroying. And for the younger siblings too. And the worry I can foresee in the teens mental health. They’ve completely cut off my whole family. It’s devastating. So sorry you’re having this too, the system is so ill-prepared for PA. It’s shocking. They should be trained to see bribery, brainwashing.

OP posts:
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