Do I need a different solicitor or am I fucked?

[TrucksTrains]

I earn 85k. DH earns 30k (he chose to leave his old job and get a less stressful one and only do 3.5 days a week)

House worth 600k. 280k of that is equity. All of that I inherited/saved/made before I met him.

Three kids. Two pre school. Expensive childcare.

DH gives me 800 a month to contribute to mortgage and childcare. I pay the rest of mortgage, childcare and bills (3000) and all other things really. I have nothing spare at end of month.

DH will go for 5050 and could well succeed.

Solicitor says he could walk away with almost all the equity despite putting 0 in as he won't be able to afford a mortgage otherwise. So could take nearly 280k as I could get a mortgage with my salary so to ensure both our homes are equal.

Is this true?

The kids are v happy at their home with me. DH is around physically but always on his phone etc.

We have been married 4.5 years.

Surely unless you live somewhere very expensive he'll be able to afford something with half the equity and a mortgage? How can you afford somewhere if you don't even have a deposit. Mad, your solicitor doesn't sound great.

@Tokya half the equity plus mortgage is about £260k no? This would get him a 1 bed flat.

For us to both be able to afford to stay here I think there is a good chance he could get almost all of it.

Ah - please do @Clytemnestra21 feel totally stuck.

There's some wildly ill informed advice on this thread OP. Do yourself a favour and pay for a second opinion.

I'm divorced, learned a lot! The Matrimonial Causes Act is the starting point as to how a court would look to divide assets. As you will see from the link, the first priority is the children, their housing needs will be the first priority. hawkinsfamilylaw.co.uk/family-law-advice/how-is-money-divided-in-a-divorce/. If you search more you should be able to find more detail on that. My overriding advice to anyone divorcing is to avoid court at all costs. It is horrendously expensive and a big gamble. If you can't agree a settlement between yourselves, the next step is mediation. If both of you have a decent solicitor advising you, a fair outcome should be possible. Good luck

@CompleteUnknown I agree with your point about avoiding court but I think you need to add context to what the housing needs of the children means in practical terms. It is often misunderstood on this site to mean "the needs of the children when they are with the primary carer" and to be absolute in their overriding any other needs of the parties. This is not the case in practice.

First of all, both parties need suitable homes. A primary resident parent won't be allowed to stay in a four bedroom family home, for example, if the other parent ends up homeless. Shared care also means both parties need suitable accommodation to house the children, not just the primary carer.

Also, judges have rapidly grown a lot less tolerant of parties who refuse to maximise their earning capacity in order to acclimatize to a budget having to stretch over two houses rather than one. Where once the weaker financial party could laze around sponging off the primary earner with little fear of redress, nowadays the attitude is more likely to be that such a party can either buck their ideas up or rent if they're not going to even try and earn enough to fund their own mortgage.

@BetterFuture1985 fair point, I can't add anything more useful to the children issue as mine were adults at the time of the divorce. As to income, yes it's about income capacity and was one of the things I covered in one of my statements for court.