DCs birthday party

[Sadandbroken1]

In the process of divorcing (because I couldn’t take the way he treated me anymore). Stuck in the same house waiting for final hearing (wish we could agree but STBXH won’t negotiate). He has completely ignored me for over a year. Won’t speak to me or even look at me even in front of the kids (primary age)

Anyway DC had a birthday party recently which I organised completely. STBXH agreed to attend as a guest but said he wouldn’t be involved in organising.

At the party there were about 25 kids so it was busy and I didn’t notice him much but at one point we passed going into and out of the kitchen and he completely blanked me.

I also thought I might get a message to say thanks for organising the party as the kids loved it, but nothing.

Not really sure why I’m posting but I guess I want to know if this sort of behaviour is normal. It’s really getting me down as I though we’s at least be able to be civil for the children.

I really struggle with this too although we don't live together anymore but his leaving was out of the blue and quick - literally ended the marriage and moved out less than 2 weeks later.

I had words with him in the end about not looking me in the eyes when I speak to him, not responding with basic manners like "hello" "morning" and so on. He only sees the kids at my (our former) home and I won't be disrespected that way in my home and I don't want the kids thinking that is acceptable behaviour and his lack of manners has always grated on me and I've started seeing my eldest picking up bad habits already

I think a lot of it is to do with guilt and shame (on my ex husbands past anyway) and he just doesn't know how to speak to me or act around me anymore

I think it will take time to find the new normal and the same with you but I would nip the bad manners in the bud pretty quick

(Although I wouldn't have expected a message about thanks for organising the party though)