Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Child maintenance

14 replies

BananaCocktails · 15/02/2023 15:46

Hello, I really don’t know what to do in this situation
my daughters dad is paying child maintenance, but based on an old payslip from over a year ago. this was a weekly payslip not even a monthly one

I have asked him to recalculate his child maintenance, he is paying on an old amount, and I know that he is receiving more in wages because he does overtime weekends where he gets higher rates and his employer has just agreed a new pay deal with their union.
he gives £250 a month . I know this is more than what most get. However I am drowning in after school fees, breakfast club uniform and everything else that a child costs. I just want him to pay what he is supposed to be paying -I don’t want a penny more.
every single penny, he gives goes on our daughter
I’m also having to pay for extra maths lessons because a TAC meeting was set up about her Maths , she’s enrolled in SEN

I’ve sent him the link for the child maintenance calculator. He keeps telling me it’s not working for him or he doesn’t know how to do it which is ridiculous.
I then asked him to bring the payslip round when he comes to see our daughter and we could do it together so I can show him. He is refusing to do that too
he then got angry and told me to ring the CSA however as he’s already paying £250 a month I’m not sure that they will get involved??
I did say to him that if they did get involved they would put 20% on on top of what he pays, off as that is what they were doing last time when he refused to pay anything at all. I explained to him he can’t keep paying child maintenance, based on one old payslip, forevermore, and I don’t even have his address, even if I wanted to get them involved because he refuses to give it to me, and he sometimes makes me uncomfortable when he takes her out and brings her back late
I’m despairing can. CSA help in this situation

OP posts:
Ursuladevinia82 · 15/02/2023 15:48

Of course CMA will help. This is precisely the circumstances. Indeed your ex partner is actually telling you too (although doubt he will be happy with the 20% uplift!)

Progress it asap. Today.

Ursuladevinia82 · 15/02/2023 15:49

If he’s not happy to show you his pay slip, then that’s because he knows he’s not paying enough

Ursuladevinia82 · 15/02/2023 15:49

Come again

you don’t have his address?

does he have any contact with your child?

Ursuladevinia82 · 15/02/2023 15:50

There is clearly a huge back story

PaigeMatthews · 15/02/2023 15:52

he then got angry and told me to ring the CSA however as he’s already paying £250 a month I’m not sure that they will get involved??

why are you even having this conversation with him? Contact the cms. Give them his information. let them do the rest.

Original poster
BananaCocktails · 15/02/2023 16:08

@Ursuladevinia82 he moved out of my flat around two year ago to his mums .
she moved address recently and he hasn’t given it to me
in the first year that he moved out, I had to get child maintenance involved as he refused to pay and they were sending the letters to his address
we cancelled child maintenance when parental relationship greatly improved and he was paying me directly
obviously, as time has gon on he’s gone back to his old ways, and I regret ever cancelling them in the first place
anyway, the backstory is irrelevant. I’m asking about child maintenance if they would get involved right now considering he’s paying something

OP posts:
Ursuladevinia82 · 15/02/2023 16:09

BananaCocktails · 15/02/2023 16:08

@Ursuladevinia82 he moved out of my flat around two year ago to his mums .
she moved address recently and he hasn’t given it to me
in the first year that he moved out, I had to get child maintenance involved as he refused to pay and they were sending the letters to his address
we cancelled child maintenance when parental relationship greatly improved and he was paying me directly
obviously, as time has gon on he’s gone back to his old ways, and I regret ever cancelling them in the first place
anyway, the backstory is irrelevant. I’m asking about child maintenance if they would get involved right now considering he’s paying something

Yes Op. They will get involved

Ursuladevinia82 · 15/02/2023 16:10

He’s paid weekly? All through Hmrc or cash in hand too and you suspect doesn’t declare ?

Reugny · 15/02/2023 16:13

Ursuladevinia82 · 15/02/2023 16:10

He’s paid weekly? All through Hmrc or cash in hand too and you suspect doesn’t declare ?

Agencies can still play weekly.

Changechangechanging · 15/02/2023 16:13

If he’s not happy to show you his pay slip, then that’s because he knows he’s not paying enough

Not necessarily the case. It’s a personal thing. I don’t want my ex to know what I earn and I can understand that works the other way.

just go to the CMS, OP.

Ursuladevinia82 · 15/02/2023 16:15

Changechangechanging · 15/02/2023 16:13

If he’s not happy to show you his pay slip, then that’s because he knows he’s not paying enough

Not necessarily the case. It’s a personal thing. I don’t want my ex to know what I earn and I can understand that works the other way.

just go to the CMS, OP.

But whether or not the correct amount is being paid, you have to know what they’re paid 😂

ttcttc · 15/02/2023 16:15

Give his works address. He doesn't have to pay 20%. You can request collect and pay if he misses three payments but if not he can request direct pay

Original poster
BananaCocktails · 15/02/2023 16:38

Thanks all
I will follow advice and just go through them

i don’t know if I have a right to insist on his address though
I get terrible anxiety and I always think the worst when he brings her back late !

OP posts:
taxpayer1 · 15/02/2023 17:13

You don't need the address or the salary. CMS will get the information from the HMRC. You are not entitled to know his address as he is not entitled to know his if you don't want to share.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page