I've failed

[CharJ10]

Hi,

My husband and I have been together 10 years and married 6. We have a wonderful 4 year old daughter. We have recently made the decision to separate and I can't stop feeling guilty. I feel like we have failed her by not providing a stable family for her to grow up in. It is an amicable split and we are still getting along fine but I'm so upset that we're somehow damaging her by doing this.
If anyone has any success/positive stories I'd really love to hear them.
Thank you.

You sound like great parents who are staying friendly and putting their daughter at the very top of their priority list.
It is much more damaging to stay together 'for the kids' and both be unhappy.. resentment WILL creep in... and will affect your little girl.
By splitting up, keeping things amicable and moving on calmly with respect for each other, you are giving your daughter a positive model of adult behaviiur which will help her set her standards for her future relationships.
You are doing the right thing and neither of you have failed her.
She will look back and be proud of you both.
...and thank you....

Thank you so much for such a nice reply x

Some of the best families are separated or blended. Being together but being unhappy doesn’t give her the stable upbringing she needs

One of the best families I know are a divorced couple. They did full 50/50, were better as friends than they ever were as partners and their DD has grown up wonderful. It's rare that a couple splitting up are truly mature, sensible and amicable, but it sounds as if you and your husband are going to do it. Your DD will be fine.