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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

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Original poster

Advice about divorcing a high earner

130 replies

Fedupnowhadenough · 08/11/2022 09:07

Hi my husband earns about £400,000 a year plus more in bonuses. I earn £20,000 a year and work part time.

We have 3 school age kids (infant and primary).

I have no savings etc, don’t know about him as we have separate bank accounts. He pays all bills, mortgage etc

If I was to leave him, does anyone know roughly what my financial position would be? He obviously earns so much more than me, and I just don’t know how I would survive financially if I was to leave 😢

He isn’t abusive, just a shit parent and doesn’t help or support me with the children in any way whatsoever apart from financially. We rarely have sex, I do all the parenting etc.

OP posts:

mewkins · 03/02/2023 08:13

carmenitapink · 02/02/2023 18:45

This is largely what I was getting at before I was called deranged 😂

If I was earning £400k and my partner earned 25k and worked part time, then yes they'd be doing most of the day to day parenting.

There's also enough money for OP to hire in some support instead of just complaining

Show quote history

Unless her husband refuses to pay to hire in help of course. Does no one find it odd that he earns all this money but she doesn't have access to it or even know what savings etc there are?

Falvit · 03/02/2023 08:30

DesignerRecliner · 08/11/2022 10:24

With that level of income, can you outsource cleaning/nanny and focus on growing your own career so you don't feel so resentful? What are his working hours and responsibilities like?

This. I would assume your husband's assets are also put into trusts.
High earners know where to locate assest so that a)they won't get taxed b)they won't be accessible during the divorce.
I'm my opinion, take good few years to prepare for the divorce.

JassyRadlett · 03/02/2023 08:30

mnchat · 08/11/2022 09:14

Instead of divorce why don't you ask him to quit the career that supports a family of 5 and instead earn £20k so you can have all the sex and split childcare?

It's terrible that you want the money from the career that keeps him out of the home but not him so are using that career against him.

I'm by far the higher earner (currently on maternity leave) and if my DH tried this I'd use my money to take the kids and the house from him!

I'm by far the higher earner and I don't treat my financial contribution as my only responsibility to my family.

I'm a partner and a parent as much as I am a paycheque. If the latter meant me totally checking out of the first two, I'd find a different way of earning money.

Thingshavebecomeweird · 03/02/2023 09:37

My ex earned similar. Form E and court. They will work on needs. I downsized but not too badly for the kids. Also did an MBA and am now a high earner myself. Wait until youngest is 5 or so.

Workingmum13 · 13/12/2024 04:21

So did you duvorce?

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