My kids have just recently started having overnights with their Dad at weekends. (we have been separated over a year and only just trying overnights from a few weeks ago).
He only has a 1 bed flat so doesn't have enough room for 3 kids to stay easily. At the moment he is trying with the youngest sharing the double bed with him, then one on the small sofa and one on a blow up bed. None of them are finding it easy, the kids come home exhausted and grumpy and they don't particularly want to go. The eldest is so tired that he then struggles to get his school work done (he's now at secondary and has a lot of work to do). We go back to mediation in a few weeks, should I be voicing that this is not the ideal sleeping arrangements for the kids or just going with it to be seen to be trying to work with him? I find him very hard to talk to as he can be a bully, I feel I have no voice around him. I do not want to encourage further overnight contact as there is history of emotional abuse and the older two in particular often do not want to go at all. I was told at mediation that I basically need to force them to go rather than just make them available as the middle child at 10 is not old enough to know what is best for her (she was often refusing to see him).
We are sorting out finances at the moment so he should be able to rent a bigger place or buy somewhere more suitable soon where he has more space and proper beds for them. I want them to have a good relationship with their Dad so know contact and overnights are needed but I certainly do not want them staying too often given the history of abuse and that he can be a bully.
Sorry I'm not too sure what I'm asking really, I'm just finding this whole process so draining and so are the children.