Separation rather than divorce - can we still sell house and split equity?

[User0610134057]

Am 2 months on from telling DH I want to separate. It’s been horrific and he is still struggling to accept it. Sometimes there’s glimpses of acceptance but it’s 2 steps forward 1 step back. We are in counselling which will hopefully help but his mental state is all over the place.

my question today is that one of the things he has asked is if we can separate rather than divorce? I don’t care too much about the legalities I just need to get myself and the Dc into our own home asap because the environment here is not good. He won’t voluntarily move out and rent somewhere: I can’t afford to rent somewhere for me and the 3dc. I can’t leave them with him especially because of his mental state at the moment and he can’t cope with them on his own for very long.

we need to sell the house and agree the equity split. Can we do that if we ‘just’ separate rather than divorce? I would rather go straight for the divorce but need to keep him on side as much as possible. Or would it be a bad idea as it wouldn’t be a legal agreement?

@ThingsIhavelearnt amen to that.

Why not? If the op doesn't want to divorce straight away and her main concern is to house the children in her own property and if the separation agreement gives her the means to do this then that's her choice.

I completely agree it's not the best choice, non fault divorce and application for financial remedy straight away is what I would suggest but the op doesn't want to do this.

Taking legal advice regarding her position now, absolutely a good idea. I wouldn't get any advice regarding the separation agreement now if that's the route she chooses to take as it makes it harder to challenge later on down the line. (Which she may not want to do if she's happy with what she has)

Form e's do only ask for 12 months bank statements, but if the applicant thinks that assets have been hidden/spent then you can ask the court to look further back than 12 months.

It is perfectly possible for women to progress and earn more even they have children you know

i did myself. Hate this notion that a Woman has kids and they can’t progress and earn well!

Come on, he's manipulating you.

Doesn't matter how far you contort yourself, this is not a man who is ever going to be "amicable" about divorce. Because divorce is what you want, and he sees that as you winning - you cannot simultaneously appease and divorce someone like him.

Don't waste your life letting him string you along, but do take and act upon legal advice.