Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Can I be made to sell?

121 replies

Checkmateready · 08/09/2022 08:27

My ex is asking me to sell our property which was bought as “tenants in common”. We have 3 children all way under the age of 18.
When we separated I was told by a solicitor that a sale couldn’t be enforced until the children are 18 and that any split in the equity would take into account the fact that we both jointly paid in for a number of years and I have solely taken over all payments since (mortgage, maintenance, buildings insurance).
He is telling me he’s been told different.

Does anyone have any experience or knowledge of this you can share before I have chance to speak to a solicitor?

I'm not in a position to buy him out, I can’t get a mortgage (on universal credit as I gave up my job whilst together to take on our childcare but am going back this month), rent is triple my mortgage payments so wouldn’t be affordable.

Thanks

OP posts:
caringcarer · 08/09/2022 11:23

My niece had recently split from her partner of 14 years. The house had to be sold so he could get his deposit back. The equity was shared equally. He stayed in house. She could not afford to do that so is renting. There are 2 DC. The eldest is hers but youngest shared. They will do 50:50 care of youngest and eldest refuses to have contact with stepdad. Dad is keeping house and youngest child will live there with him for 50 percent of time. Niece is paying quite high rent so both children have own room. Her equity is gradually being used up. She works full time. Once equity gone she will apply for housing benefit. She is desperately upset to lose her home and end up back in rental. Her children are almost 18 and almost 16.

Sunshineandflipflops · 08/09/2022 11:35

I am in the process of buying my ex out of the family home for a percentage of the equity worked out and agreed on by us and solicitors, taking into account pensions, etc. I have also got a new job working full time to enable me to manage it. We were (still are officially) married though and I think makes a huge difference. I know there's nothing you can do about that no but I would never have children with someone I wasn't married to for these reasons.

gogohmm · 08/09/2022 11:41

6 months is fair enough, you may even be allowed a year - it was the "until 18" that was highly unlikely in your circumstances. Try calling your local council housing team and see if there's any shared ownership or rent to buy schemes locally - we have a few even in our small town (if they say they cannot suggest anything, you haven't lost anything in asking!)

millymollymoomoo · 08/09/2022 11:42

Ultimately yes he can try to force a sale to get his share
this may or may not be granted based on both yourabilities to house the children so it may be deferred
a court won’t deem it acceptable for him to only be in a position to rent a room

yiu would have to seek a claim to remain under the sch. 1 of the childrens act as you are not married

when you do ultimately sell her will be entitled to 50% of any equity at that pint in time if you hold on equal shares

peanutbutterjelly2 · 08/09/2022 11:43

Sounds like you're referring to a mesher order? As far as I am aware it is for married couples.

I believe that you can apply to the court, as can he to get you to sell, so legal advice is required.

BadNomad · 08/09/2022 12:02

Did you make a trust deed when you bought the house together? From my understanding of "tenants in common", all parties have to agree to the sale of the whole property, so no, he can't force you to sell. However, he can sell his half/percentage of the property to whoever he wants.

BadNomad · 08/09/2022 12:09

Oh I'm wrong. He can take you to court. The court will decide. As it is being used as a family home for your joint children that will work in your favour.

Fuuuuuckit · 08/09/2022 12:16

BadNomad · 08/09/2022 12:02

Did you make a trust deed when you bought the house together? From my understanding of "tenants in common", all parties have to agree to the sale of the whole property, so no, he can't force you to sell. However, he can sell his half/percentage of the property to whoever he wants.

... But if one party is being obstructive then a sale can still be forced.

TooHotToTangoToo · 08/09/2022 12:27

He'll call Ss and report you for abandoning the dc, does he realise he has 50% parental responsibility so he'll also be reported for abandoning his dc - muppet

AdamnEden2 · 08/09/2022 13:05

Unmarried
Tenants in common
I believe that you own the property 50% each
One of you buys the other out
Or
Sell the property & split the proceeds half & half
I don't believe that you will receive any extras due to housing the children apart from child benefit & child maintenance.

You have none of the extra protection of marriage

Seek legal advice

AdamnEden2 · 08/09/2022 13:13

If you look on Citizens Advice website or www.gov.uk you can read the differences between single & married

LondonMu222 · 08/09/2022 13:18

you seem delusional.
He owns 50% of the house and he wants it. That is normal.
you CAN NOT steal his 50% because you think you need it.
I think I need to live in holland park in a mansion, should I steal it somewhere?

Original poster
Checkmateready · 08/09/2022 13:34

@LondonMu222 delusional? No just realistic in my responsibilities to house the kids.

Maybe he’s the one that’s delusional, wanting to sell the house but not willing to house his own children. Wanting to work without having any care or responsibilities to childcare.

Hes just informed me he’s happy for me to move the kids 2 and half hours away in order to sell the property, even though he’s also just said it will be detrimental to their relationship with him.

I think I’ll take up this last offer where I can cut ties with him and not have the threat of loosing our house because it’s really not worth it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Checkmateready · 08/09/2022 13:37

Im not trying to steal anything but he doesn’t and hasn’t paid anything in for the last 5 years. It’s only still half his when trying to take out from it. When it comes to buildings insurance, mortgage or maintenance he doesn’t pay because it’s “not his”.

OP posts:
cestlavielife · 08/09/2022 13:42

Checkmateready · 08/09/2022 13:37

Im not trying to steal anything but he doesn’t and hasn’t paid anything in for the last 5 years. It’s only still half his when trying to take out from it. When it comes to buildings insurance, mortgage or maintenance he doesn’t pay because it’s “not his”.

His share is his
You effectively paying rent to live there in his share by being there and paying everything

hedgehoglurker · 08/09/2022 13:42

Do you have this offer for you to move away in writing? It might be helpful to have this, because I'm sure he'll deny it and try to use it against you in future.

knittingaddict · 08/09/2022 13:45

This would have been better sorted out 5 years ago, but obviously can't turn back time.

You need to think about this rationally. You've paid the mortgage and house costs for 5 years, but you've also had the advantage of having the family home to live in. Your ex hasn't and now wants it sorted. He can't buy a home if he is on the deeds and mortgage of your home. He can't get to his equity unless you sell up.

I'm on your side emotionally, but realistically your ex is right to get this dealt with finally.

CombatBarbie · 08/09/2022 13:46

Unmarried assets and children can be tricky. What is his share worth? Was a valuation done 5yrs ago when you split? Could you afford to buy him out getting a new mortgage?

I think you are in a strong position tbh is you have been paying solo for last 5yrs and have u18s.

roopeedoopeedooo · 08/09/2022 13:46

If there is not enough equity to split and put down a despot, why does he want to sell? How much is there in equity in total, and how much is he entitled to if he stopped contributing 5 years ago?

LostMyUserName · 08/09/2022 13:47

Fuuuuuckit · 08/09/2022 09:17

If you were not married then there is no legal/moral protection. Your house was bought transactionally and now he wants his share. Which he can legally push for.

It's shit, I understand. I think you need to check with a great broker what is affordable, once you have a ft job.

Some lenders will include cms, uc, child benefit etc.

Out of interest @Fuuuuuckit, what would the situation be if the OP was married?

WeepingSomnambulist · 08/09/2022 13:48

roopeedoopeedooo · 08/09/2022 13:46

If there is not enough equity to split and put down a despot, why does he want to sell? How much is there in equity in total, and how much is he entitled to if he stopped contributing 5 years ago?

He can’t get another mortgage if his name is on this one. He needs it sold. He can also argue that she has paid it alone for 5 years rather than both paying it and then her paying him rent for his half.

They weren’t married. She needs to buy him out or sell.

lickenchugget · 08/09/2022 13:54

Checkmateready · 08/09/2022 09:23

My research is telling me that a court is unlikely to enforce a sale when children are involved prior to them being 18 and the solicitor said no court in their right minds will make 3 children homeless. This may not be the case when it comes down to it so I just wondered if anyone had an experience of it.

This is not correct if you are not married. And even if you were, orders being granted to stay in a house until youngest child is 18, are increasingly very rare. Clean breaks are preferred and if you’re children are 8 or over, you’ll be expected to work full time.

Best to get some current legal advice.

Original poster
Checkmateready · 08/09/2022 13:59

Yes I have it all in writing. He has tried calling but I won’t take his call so there is traceability of it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Checkmateready · 08/09/2022 14:02

I suspect he wants equity to buy or possibly get married! He may be able to buy with the equity out as he has full time income, plus his partners and no childcare costs.

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread