Can I be made to sell?

[Checkmateready]

My ex is asking me to sell our property which was bought as “tenants in common”. We have 3 children all way under the age of 18.
When we separated I was told by a solicitor that a sale couldn’t be enforced until the children are 18 and that any split in the equity would take into account the fact that we both jointly paid in for a number of years and I have solely taken over all payments since (mortgage, maintenance, buildings insurance).
He is telling me he’s been told different.

Does anyone have any experience or knowledge of this you can share before I have chance to speak to a solicitor?

I'm not in a position to buy him out, I can’t get a mortgage (on universal credit as I gave up my job whilst together to take on our childcare but am going back this month), rent is triple my mortgage payments so wouldn’t be affordable.

Thanks

Unfortunately not. Without the protection of marriage the joint asset is split as it was originally set out at the time of purchase and all individual assets remain so.

Whilst there would be reluctance on all sides to force a sale, the ex has equity tied up in a home he no longer lives in and is entitled to get it back. If there is equity for him then there will be equity for op too, which inevitably will need to bee used as a deposit for her own place (assuming she gets work) or to spend to rent.

It would be the same if you had bought with a friend, a parent or a company. There is no additional protection just because you have the children.

If you are simply talking about the division of the house funds should it be sold then I suspect the answer is no. They aren't married. So it is not a marital asset that can be split according to needs. The money from the house should it be sold, will be divided along the proportions each tenant in common owns. That's usually 50:50 unless they opted for a different proportion when they bought the house.

I'm in a similar situation also with 3 young children

I'm married though

I've agreed with STBEXH that we will stay in the house 18 months or so until childcare bills reduce significantly and then we will sell - I can cover the mortgage but I can't afford to remortgage to release his equity and then pay higher mortgage costs

Selling means we can't buy anywhere local though so we will have to relocate and that will be 2 hours away

That might sound like punishment but it's not. It is what it is and the reality of the situation he has put us all in

You need legal advice.

I don't understand why renting a room is an option for him in your head. Surely he also needs to provide a home in which he can house the children, to allow for proper access?

Perhaps he needs the equity to set up his household?

With regards to renting... You would pay the rent initially from any equity you have been awarded, after that money falls below a certain threshold (I think £16,000 but could be wrong) you would apply to universal credit for the 'housing element' your local areas amount is normally available on your council's website. You would then pay any difference between this and your rent from your wages.
It's not a case that you wouldn't be able to afford to rent, though you may have to downsize as 3 children doesn't necessarily mean 4 bedrooms, depending on whether they are boys or girls, you would expect to have the same sex sharing. Yes, it's going to be more expensive than a small mortgage, but if you are unable to get a mortgage in your own right then that's what the courts will expect you to do.

@isthistheendtakeabreath i feel we may end up in the same situation.

@Snugglemonkey i see what you’re saying but ultimately he only has to house himself. In the past he has also has the option of looking after the children in the house whilst I visit family 2 and half hours away to give him the space.

No. They weren't married. She gave up her job with no legal protection from a split.

The house was bought as tenants in common. It needs to be sold and split as per the original agreement. She cant keep it until the kids turn 18 and she wont get a bigger share than originally agreed when the purchase was made.

OP, either buy him out or house the kids from your share or the sale plus benefits, salary and child maintenance. He's clearly a shit if he is refusing to house the children but you knew the risk when you became financially dependent on him without the protection of marriage. Everyone knows the risk involved in that. You made a choice. Do the best you can now to sort it out without paying put a fortune on legal fees.

We are in a 3 bed now so there’s not much scope for downsizing but I am checking. One room for me, one for 2 girls and another for 1 boy (over 10 so not allowed to share I don’t think).

Rhanks for all the replies, I assumed the Dc would be taken into account. This situation is happening with my BIL and partner of 20 years at the moment. She has to house a 14 year old and BIL is giving her more than 50% as he assumes he would be instructed to by a court. I’m going to keep my mouth shut!

Why would they be homeless? Your share of the equity can go towards paying rent on a flat.

You need to distinguish between what you would like and what you need.

@Checkmateready

Mixed sex children above a certain age cant share in a council property so you wouldn't get a 2 bed council property without converting a common room to a bedroom.

But there are no rules in private homes or rentals. Mixed sex kids can share a room in a private rental or privately owned home. If you cant afford a 3 bed house then you'll need to downsize.

@FarFromHome2 It’s not about what I want. The fact is that the equity would be gone in rent (fine) but at this point I wouldn’t be able to afford the cost of rent which is triple to 4x my current mortgage. I can’t just think in the Now, I have to think longer term.

Maybe their dad could take on the attitude of not having what he wants so the kids can have what they need.

@WeepingSomnambulist i didn’t know that, thank you. So maybe there is an option to downsize.

Yes, if he has a new home could the children live with him, so that you’d not need such a big home?

As others have said, it’s possible that a sale could be forced, so you need to look at what would then happen. Are your children all at school now? If so, would changing job or working longer hours be an option?

Are you getting the right amount of maintenance paid?

That’s not quite true - the court will take into account the needs of the children if they are asked to order the sale of a property. However it’s not a bar on a sale order.

Then your best option is to buy him out. You say you're going back to work so speak with a mortgage broker or your current mortgage provider to find out if your salary will

@Checkmateready as a PP has said, the rent would be made up of salary + maintenance + benefits. It's worth knowing that maintenance isn't taken into account when they calculate your universal credit claim. If for some reason you can't afford a rental deposit at the moment then you can also apply to your council for assistance with this (it is at their discretion so they don't have to award it, but worth applying)
Going on the age and sex of your children, then you'd be looking at renting a 2 bedroom and you sleep either in with the girls, or in the living room, or a smaller 3 bedroom. It's never a case of 'not allowed to share' if the difference is not having a home at all. As long as they have a bed each then you could technically have the boy sleeping in the living room and the rest of you in a bedroom (not something anyone would wish for but it does happen)

I would go back to your ex and state you have a new job lined up and will go to a mortgage broker in a few months and look again at what you can borrow.

That you appreciate he wants his equity asap but you need to house the DC full time and that has to the priority.

I assume you are getting at the very least the CMS of child support for the DC?

You could put your name on the social housing list with your council and then they may offer you to go into the shared ownership list.

Are you able to save into the house buying ISA scheme?

*will be enough to cover buying him out. If that will simply not be possible then you need to accept that you'll have to rent. Salary, top up benefits and maintenance and you'll have to manage like everyone else. You cant keep his money and live in a jointly own house just because you dont want to downsize or budget.

Next time, dont move in with a man, have kids then give up work.

@FarFromHome2 He doesn’t want them living with him because he doesn’t want to have full time responsibility because “he works”. He’s able to work full time as I do all the school drop offs and pick up. In the meantime I have managed to find a job with school hours to get some independence back. He has a partner and family around that can help when it comes to childcare. I don’t have this.

With maintenance we sort this between ourselves but he flits between being amicable with showing proof of earnings and not. If he’s reluctant come the new tax year I will just ask for it to be done through CSA because it’s not worth the stress. As far as I’m aware this will cost him more which is why I’ve not done it because I see it as a waste and money that he could use for the kids.

The 3 kids can share a room. There are no rules against that. The only time it matters is if the council are housing you. It is the council who are not allowed to house mixed sex kids in the same room. Parents can do what they like in private rentals and homes.

Listen to your solicitor. I was in a similar position and my solicitor told me he couldn't force a sale until the dc we're over a certain age or in employment.

One thing to think on, even if you continue to pay the mortgage single handedly, unless he agrees to sign a deed of trust, when you come to sell he'll be entitled to a % of the final equity.

@WeepingSomnambulist yes lesson learnt! But we did what was best for our family at that time and I am trying to get me out of this situation.

I wasn’t aware I could downsize any further until this post so it’s something I can look at and trust me I budget as much as I can.

Listen to what your solicitor told you Op. That is what you've paid them for.