Husbands ex wife coming after my income

[Amum4444]

Hi,
just wondering if anyone has been in a similar situation. My husband and I married last year and he has been trying to achieve a clean break. He and ex wife thought they had effectively severed any ties when they divorced. I believe they did the divorce a few years back without a solicitor.
husband pays child maintenance without fail for one child at £500 per month. Whilst ex initially agreed to sign a clean break she has had a change of heart and is doing everything to bring me into the proceedings as she wants me to contribute to her finances . The ex worked when they were together they have one child. She lives with new partner with another child she pays no bills he pays everything and spent her money from the house on cosmetic surgeries (10k) holidays and adding an extension to her new partners house. She now says that because my husband married me he can afford to give her £2k a month. She also says she needs more money in case she wants to leave her new partner. Her solicitor wants all my bank accounts and details of my income. I’ve refused but know I will be ordered to disclose this. It seems so unfair that I work flat out full time at the cost of missing out on my own three children to pay for someone to sit at home all day who fit to work.
Grateful for anyone’s similar experiences. This is causing so much stress and upset. I do not want my private details all out in the open and I do not want to be part of this court case. Incidentally my husband and I do not have joint accounts. We merely split household bills 50/50 and that’s it. This was because he had obligations to his child and I have my 3 children from a previous relationship.

Divorce him and get him to sign a clean break from you?

I don't see how legally your finances have anything to do with her! What a CF. I would keep refusing. Is the child maintenance court ordered? If it's not I would go to CMS and see what they say to pay. He can always pay more if he wants, but at least there's a formal record of it having been paid.

Then continue living with him as you do now until he has a clean break signed from her.

Her solicitor wants all my bank accounts and details of my income. I’ve refused but know I will be ordered to disclose this.

You won’t be, they are trying their luck. She cannot claim a single penny from you. DH exW also tried this as was given short shrift.

You need to engage your own solicitor on this. Don’t send them anything until you’ve got expert advice.

Technically your DH could reduce CM if it’s paid through CMS as he’s now living with three further children. ExW would be wise to leave it as it is.

I wouldn't bother engaging a solicitor at all.

Just keep saying no. Until a judge orders otherwise (which they won't).

Remember a solicitor will write any old shite op.
Refuse every time.

What she spends her and her new husbands money on is none of your business. Your dh only has to pay the CMS amount. How much does that work out at? How often does he have his children overnight?

Thank you. Yes I was astonished at the fact I could be brought into this. It’s the audacity of her solicitor openly saying in court that she would have signed clean break but since he’s married someone well remunerated she wants all my income details etc. Thought about divorce - it’s so sad.
the child maintenance is done in accordance with the online calculator but it’s just paid directly out of his bank account to hers. Should he contact cms so they keep a track record do you think?

Yes, this. We hired a solicitor just to be sure as her solicitor was so demanding. It was basically a waste of money. The lawyer took 30 seconds to say I am not relevant at all in maintenance. You could be a millionairess and she would have nothing to claim.

What a cheeky devil. !!

apparently this is in addition to child maintenance- she wants spousal maintenance for her but argues it’s to use for the child. It’s all a mess. She is asking for £2000 per month in total and I’m worried if I have to give my bank statements the court will see what I put away and order I pay her even though I don’t have joint accounts. Everything I have put away is for my children ready for university etc .

Considering you have never been her spouse I reckon she'll get told to take a running jump.

Absolutely not. Been through this, you don’t need a solicitor but by all means instruct one if it gives you comfort.

My experience was that she went immediately onto Zoopla after finding out my address and found out how much my house was worth and thought she’d get a payout…somehow? Tried to get the CMS to drag me into everything, who also got told to take a long walk off a short pier.

Solicitors will write what they are told to write and whoever pays the bill. She cannot claim any money from you. You do not have to provide any details unless specifically ordered by a judge to do so.

Have you used the online CMS calculator? You enter your details and it’ll tell you what you are expected to pay or what you can expect to receive.
IF they are divorced, and they had a final settlement, then the only change will be child maintenance based on husbands income - nothing to do with you at all. Eg, if he has had a financially beneficial promotion, then he may expect to pay more. If he’s changed his job to a less well paid position, then his contribution would decrease. They will also take into account the number of children who live with HIM, not any other children that are living with HER.
If the amount that he currently is paying, is also covering spousal maintenance, then as she’s now living with a new partner, that part of the maintenance would be stopped.
Your own income/ savings etc will be irrelevant. A court won’t be interested.

Her solicitor can say whatever they like - doesn't make it correct. Your income is not relevant to any claim for either child maintenance or spousal maintenance. Though, if you can afford it, instructing your own solicitor to put hers back in their box would probably be worthwhile.

Is his CMS payment calculated on income, nights he has his child and that he lives with your further 3 children? If not, I'd figure that out and reduce it. If she wants to play games then she's taking a risk.

You need your DH to dig out the paperwork from his divorce and understand exactly when it was and what it consisted of.
If she signed a clean break / financial settlement or agreement then it is going to be very difficult for her to present an argument to change it now. Especially considering she has a new partner and can be considered as being better off financially now than she was when she agreed the divorce.

Where has this 2,000 a month spousal maintenance come from? Did he previously pay this or agree to pay it?

I would continue to ignore it, you haven’t been ordered to provide anything and it’s highly unlikely you would be. She has the ability to work, has a partner, gets maintenance and they’ve been divorced some time with a financial agreement in place.

If I was your DH I’d be blocking her and only t via email re children only.

Some people are just cheeky fuckers

apparently it is part of the proceedings for her to disclose her finances as it’s her requesting £2k a month so she needs to demonstrate her needs. Court will look to see if she can support herself. Personally I’m not interested if she works, had the life of Riley but I do not think she should cone to me for my income - I never married her or had children with her. My income should be my business surely?
he has child 2 nights a week , 3/4 in school hols

And spousal maintenance isn't for the child , that's rubbish. Spousal maintenance normally comes into a settlement if one of the couple earns significantly more and the main caregiver has been negatively impacted by being so (so for example if one of them has given up a career to raise a child) I received spousal maintenance as my ex was earning 75K, owned our house outright etc and I'd only been allowed to work a few hours a week because I was at home with our son (hope that makes sense) but after the settlement I was expected to go back to work at least 16 hours a week

Genius!

If there was no financial order in place can the exW do this? I suspect so, hence ^^

OP make sure your DH gets proof of this

She lives with new partner

and say no to any demands from her solicitor or better still ignore them over your income.

Your income is your business. I’m a bit confused though, you say they divorced a few years ago and thought they severed any ties then, did they not get the clean break order then?