Husbands ex wife coming after my income

[Amum4444]

Hi,
just wondering if anyone has been in a similar situation. My husband and I married last year and he has been trying to achieve a clean break. He and ex wife thought they had effectively severed any ties when they divorced. I believe they did the divorce a few years back without a solicitor.
husband pays child maintenance without fail for one child at £500 per month. Whilst ex initially agreed to sign a clean break she has had a change of heart and is doing everything to bring me into the proceedings as she wants me to contribute to her finances . The ex worked when they were together they have one child. She lives with new partner with another child she pays no bills he pays everything and spent her money from the house on cosmetic surgeries (10k) holidays and adding an extension to her new partners house. She now says that because my husband married me he can afford to give her £2k a month. She also says she needs more money in case she wants to leave her new partner. Her solicitor wants all my bank accounts and details of my income. I’ve refused but know I will be ordered to disclose this. It seems so unfair that I work flat out full time at the cost of missing out on my own three children to pay for someone to sit at home all day who fit to work.
Grateful for anyone’s similar experiences. This is causing so much stress and upset. I do not want my private details all out in the open and I do not want to be part of this court case. Incidentally my husband and I do not have joint accounts. We merely split household bills 50/50 and that’s it. This was because he had obligations to his child and I have my 3 children from a previous relationship.

No I don't think it will come to that. Have they been separated and divorced for a while?
I just meant that was the reason for asking for your finances.

Probably best to get your own solicitor for peace of mind.

A 50/50 split of the house with your husband continuing to pay the mortgage and bills suggests that he hasn't taken his 50 percent of the equity. Was he paying for the house in addition to child maintenance? It's not clear. This could be a lot more complicated than it initially seems and the services of a solicitor or barrister required.

Nobody would have a second marriage if it meant the first wife or husband could come after the new spouse's income.

He'd be best going for 50/50.

You need a financial order as part of your divorce though. Not just the divorce.
This is what OPs husband didn't do.

Its a misconception that the divorce itself is enough.

@Amum4444 do you have any assets, house, savings, car in your DH name or held jointly? Theoretically she could make a claim against any assets that are in your DH name even joint ones. That's not the same as saying she'd get anything. Assets in your name only won't be claimable against.

We have our house - only joint asset which we hold as joint tenants and we pay 50/50 on he mortgage

Surely her new partner is supporting her if he is living in the house with her and the new child? It would be mad to think she could come after your money.

If he's not had the financial settlement re the divorce she can come after his half of the house, along with any savings in his name and pensions

I don't believe your wage can be used to enable him to pay her more

Spousal maint in the uk is very rarely given, only v high earners with wives that have had to give up work etc to look after dc. I'm almost sure that if she's living with another partner then that's another reason why spousal maint won't be awarded

I genuinely think she's chancing her arm, but your dh needs legal advice on this with regards to her making a claim on your house

Of course her partner is supporting her.

Even without the new child the fact they live together means he is paying his way.

He can't rely on the OP's husband supporting him as he is a third party.

Okay, your wife has obviously read the law in a very one sided way and decided that her ex-husband living with a partner means he might have more money to pay her some maintenance. Unfortunately, she stopped reading there and has failed to take into account:

1. You are under absolutely no obligation whatsoever to tell this woman or a court anything about your finances;

2. She has been living without spousal maintenance for five long years and would struggle to justify why she suddenly has a need for it now;

3. She has a new partner living with her so you will be asking for him to disclose his information too and it strongly implies she doesn't need maintenance, at least not unless they split up;

4. If she wants to go down the path to trying to get spousal maintenance, she will need to prove she still needs it if she maximises her earning capacity from all sources. Good luck with that one unless your husband and her enjoyed a lifestyle where he was on more than £100k.

I saw a solicitor many moons ago when exdh tried this when we initially got together.

They confirmed my income was nothing to do with her and could not be bought into anything.

Funnily we later ended up friends, but she was cheeky for giving that a try!

This. She's not going to get anywhere with this.

She’s trying to split you two up by any means possible is what she’s trying to do and if this isn’t successful which it most definitely won’t be then the false accusations will start so be very prepared for the worst and very solid in your relationship to weather the storms she’ll create. For some people more than enough is never enough and although they don’t want your partner they don’t want you to have him either.

The only thing dp had to state was whether he was supporting me not the other way around (he doesn't nor do I expect him to) if he had said yes I would have needed to prove my income or lack there of in my case.

Like many on here I also found myself on the wrong side of this - I took advice from a good solicitor who laughed and said that the ex was trying it on, and that she was clearly being advised by a rogue solicitor as a decent one would have told her that she was wasting her time rather than take her money to pursue a claim which could never come good.

Your income is not relevant in any way to her maintenance claim, nor can you be legally obliged to provide details. Nor can you supporting your husband financially mean that she can ask for more from him - only his income is relevant. And actually, if he is supporting your DC within your joint home, then CMS will take that into account before they calculate how much she might be eligible to ask for, and reduce her claim accordingly.

Really, don't spend another moment worrying about this, open a nice bottle of something and enjoy your evening...I promise you (because I went through all this a couple of years ago, when I was earning significant money compared to my new husband) that nothing will/can happen.

Yep, same. Ex tried it on - ‘doesn’t lickenchugget want to contribute to the sdc? Does she not love them?’

Nope. Our solicitor also laughed and said no way

Amazingly, ex didn’t work herself at this time.

Ignore it, OP.

Why have you revived a 2 month old thread @BetterFuture1985?

I suspect the op has moved on

A friend of mine was living with a lovely guy and in a similar situation, though they each had two kids of their own. They were not married, and yet her income was included after the ex pursued it. Friend worked but the ex wife did not and never had throughout the marriage. The wrangling went on for years, the ex always wanting more, and in the end my friend and the partner recommenced living separately, and shortly afterwards the relationship ended. She is now married to a baggage-free man. Some women have literally no scruples, some men are too soft, and some Judges - well, it blows my mind. I know that this particular Judge's rulings were challenged at a later stage, as he was clearly biased, but sadly I'm sure he can't be the only one.

Good grief, can't believe I typed all that on an out of date thread! Duh!

So many scary threads like these! It needs to be written into the Mumsnet rules that if you're thinking house, child or marriage with someone divorced, first consult a solicitor to check their divorce is finalised and child support arrangements clearly agreed. Is that a thing? And check our own paperwork too, ofc!

Ditto!

I wonder if they didn't do their financial settlement properly and therefore left it open to future claims. In which case the living situation of both parties would potentially be relevant - ie a dual income house etc

@Amum4444 DH’s ex was like this. I got threatening calls telling me I would be taken to court if I didn’t offer up my NI number. I refused and never heard from anyone again for this information. Good luck.