Is asking for 75% too much?

[clpsmum]

My divorce has been dragging out for years now and his having a major affect on my mental health I need it to be over and ties cut asap. I am currently applying to court for a forced sale of marital home however I've been advised this will take a minimum for a year from start to finish.

Would it be unreasonable if me to ask my STBXH for 75% of the equity in the home and I will forfeit anything else pensions, money he owes me etc.

I know I could be doing myself a huge disservice but I just need this to be over asap and he is throwing a spanner in the works and dragging it out at any possible opportunity.

My question really is, is 75% too much to ask for?

No way anyone can answer this without knowing the value of those other assets.

erm ...75% of house or 75% of everything?

What do you mean by money he owes you? Joint money spent during the marriage is gone, you don’t get to recover it. The split is of assets you both hold now.

How are we supposed to know?

If the house is worth £100k and the pension a million, you're massively loosing out. If it's the other way around, then it's unfair to him.

He's getting a shit deal with this offer . Pensions are a gamble they go up and down also none of us know how long we are going to live some people and draw a few years pension and died the pot disappears .
He'll need some where to live now and if he already has somewhere he'll be paying a mortgage and a shed loads of interest .

TBH having a big pension in old age isn't neecessarly an advantage. Because if you need care and never done a days work in your life .on benefits or quite simply pissed all your money away the state pick up the bill.
If you've been hardworking ,responsible and contributed all your life you are bled to the point of bankruptcy before the state step in .

75% of house equity

I don't know what his pension is worth or what his savings are as he won't disclose and it will take months for the court order to find out this information.

He earns £75k I earn £20k

why just 75%? Is his pension tiny?

It's not joint money it is money that he owes me

There isn't enough information there for anyone to possibly help you.
Is the pension worth a billion pounds, and the house £100k?!? How do we know if 75% of the equity is fair?

What is the pension worth? What is the equity in the house?

Unfortunately as he is obviously being deliberately difficult you just need to sit it out and go via court including forcing disclosure of his pensions and other assets.

No idea what pension is worth. There's about £50k equity in the house

Well his pension is going to be worth a whole lot more than £50k

Do you have children?

He has to disclose it doesn't he? Form E. it's the first thing you do when you start sorting it all out.

That’s not really how it works.

What does your solicitor say?

You're only going to do this once, you need to get it right.

I am I. Scotland think things are slightly different here.

I thought he had to disclose too but after almost 4 years of requesting the information and him avoiding what happens in theory and in practice seem to be two different things.

Yes shared children.

@NotKevinTurvey why isn't it? My solicitor seems to think it is

This is the hard part. My solicitor wants me to wait and go through the court option and logically I know that is the sensible thing to do. However this is having such a huge impact on my mental health it's actually ruining my life and I don't know how much longer I can cope for. I just want it over

The op clearly states

Would it be unreasonable if me to ask my STBXH for 75% of the equity in the home and I will forfeit anything else pensions, money he owes me etc?

How much does he owe you? I would do what your solicitor said, to be honest. I think you will get a much much better deal that way. Do you have to communicate with your husband? Who is living where?

For your future security you need to wait it out.

Detach detach detach see it as a business transaction your solicitor is dealing with and whatever you get at the end is an added bonus.

Follow your solicitor's advice or I think you'll regret it. Coming out with 37k and nothing else isn't a huge amount if you are setting up again with children.

I have to say from experience, the Scottish method of divorce and finance does seem to drag things out interminably. It was a revelation when I found that my Scottish solicitor hadn't actually started the petition for divorce, as I was living in England and could re-start the process down here with far greater control and better timelines.

As for whether the split is fair, we honestly cannot say without knowing the value of other assets and pensions. It is possible and quite acceptable to barter for a further 25% of the house against not insisting on a pension sharing order.