Critique my divorce financial order request

[Audioslaw]

This is going to be long as I will try and set out all of the relevant information needed to discuss 'fairness'.

Getting divorced. I have applied myself paying the full £593 as he refused to pay half. Using the new no fault process that came in in April so have not needed to state 'reasons'.

Met 2014, started cohabiting 2017 with myself and my ds from a previous relationship moving into his house that he had bought with a mortgage himself in his sole name. Ds is now 11. I have no other DC. He has no DC at all. We share no children.

Married 2018.

Split up boxing day 2020 with myself and Ds then moving out to a rented flat in early 2021. Been here ever since.

Me.

35. Work full time earning 26k. Secure employment. Get a little bit of UC of £400 and my rent is £850. Receive a small amount of CM from Ds dad per month. £82 child benefit

My only asset of over £500 is a car worth £3500 and I have £900 in savings (it was £600 more than this but had to use it for the court application fee)

Earning potential is top 40k in realistic terms but it will take me another 7 years to reach that, so I'd be 42 by then. I will always be full time.

I have little pension as between 2011 and 2020 I worked part time at this point so only have two years of full time pension contributions to speak of.

If I am to buy a house I'd need a 25 yr mortgage so need to do it this year.

When I started cohabiting with him in 2017 I had a pot of £16k that I was planning to use as my own deposit. At this exact time I was viewing 2 bed terraces and had mortgage in principles enabling me to buy one of these houses alone at the time. This would have covered a 10% deposit and all fees AT THE TIME. where we live has risen hugely in the last 7 years and the same houses are at least 100k more now.

This 16k got spent on joint expenses, our wedding, honeymoon and house improvements during the time we lived together.

Him

Nearly 50 years old.

Earns £45k rising a small amount each year and this raise is performance based. Secure employment. Has a small bonus each year but not guaranteed. Should he lose this job he would easily get another at a similar level (managerial - private sector)

House which would sell quickly for 310k in its current state, of this £260k would be retained after clearing the 40k mortgage left. There may be a few thousand early exit mortgage fee as it was fixed until 2025. No other properties.

He has between 10-20k in shares / share save investments stocks but I am unsure of exact amounts or where
D
Has a very large pension. Not sure exactly what the pot is worth but it would be a comfortable retirement if he continues to work full time for 10 more years at least until age 60. More if works later on in life.

Based on my finances, I can get a mortgage of about £104k. The very cheapest 2 bed property I could get within 5 miles of Ds school would be 240k.

I am thinking of proposing a request for a lump sum of £130k which equates to 50% of the house equity and then if I saved myself for a bit longer the remaining 6k and then a few more thousand to cover moving costs and fees etc, I SHOULD be able to get on the property ladder before my 36th bday. It would be really tight but just about doable. Of course this is at today's prices though so doesn't account for any big rises.

This would leave him with the other £130k to buy his own 2 bed place or of course he could stay in the current place and remortgage in order to release equity to me to use as a down payment. He is not tied to any particular area of our city as much as I am. He has no dependents or outgoings.

I do not intend to ask for any share of his pension as he is older than me, I have an extra 15 years to pay into mine than him to build it up. I also do not want any of the shares etc. The only thing I need is the ability to buy a house for myself and ds to live in to get away from precarious and expensive renting and to secure our future.

What do you think?

Am I being too 'grabby'? Hate that word. unrealistic as a short marriage? Too lenient as it should start at 50/50 as I have a child to house and he doesn't?

Obviously as you'll see from me stating my income I don't have money for expensive solicitors etc. I am hoping we can sort out an agreement in mediation.

Really appreciate anyone's thoughts on navigating this and setting it out as my life is just so unaffordable paying this huge rent each month not to mention rising costs of everything and knowing I could be asked to leave at any time.

OP, I mean this kindly but you're nuts to think you are entitled to £130k after a two year marriage with no children.

I would suggest you look to have your £16k returned and half the equity in the increase of the house value since 2018 (not half of the whole equity). So if the equity has risen from £240k to £260k since 2018 I think it would be reasonable to request that you receive £10k from the house equity.

If the houses you were looking at before you got married have gone up by £100K then it is likely his will have gone up by similar so you will be entitled to some of that increase I should think, possibly even half so that should still be a decent sum of money to use for a deposit. I think it will be confined to a share of the increase in value rather than any capital repayment he funded himself though.

This was why I thought he’d been laying it for years before you as so much paid off. Unfortunately it’s his house though and other than possibly compensating you for the savings you lost I’m not sure you would get anything.
Its tough but if the shoe was on the other foot would you feel you had to sell up or remortgage to pay him £130k? It was a very short marriage, no children and essentially should just be a clean break. I’d like to think he spent some of his savings whilst with you.

IANAL but I wouldn't have thought DS would count towards your 'need' as he isn't a shared child.

If I were being generous I'd say £26k max.

Your £16k (but you also spent it so not convinced you should get it all back really, it's not like the wedding and honeymoon was just for him) + 10% of the £100k uplift in prices. That would put you in exactly the same position you were in when you moved in with him i.e. with a 10% deposit. The rest is then down to you

Even with shared ownership i don't meet any of the affordability anywhere in our county.

Same with help to buy.

Even if I used say 16k for a 5% dep I can't then borrow enough to buy and prices are only rising

I think you need to manage your expectations.

Very short marriage, no children together, didn’t buy a house together m. I’d imagine a judge would look at putting you each back to your position before marriage- so your ex would keep his house, and his pension.

You were living mortgage-free and able to work just part time. It sounds like you had a pretty sweet deal from a financial perspective.

With all due respect, your low earnings are not down to your husband

in a divorce it was about not leaving one party hugely disadvantaged lifestyle wise in terms of housing. Is that not right?

Potentially when you have kids together to enable the children to move between homes without a drop in living standards

But you don't have kids together

You should be taking this up with the father of your child - what house does he live in? Not the poor chap you married and now want to fleece

I wasn't living mortgage free I still paid him money from my acc to his each month.

He never had any cash savings.

House was bought for 160k in 2015. Would sell for £310 now for a quick sale with no work done

No idea about the legal position, but you’re coming across as VERY grabby. Just because you can’t afford a house yourself, it doesn’t mean you’re entitled to half his house after 2 years marriage and no children together.

Well I think you’ll be renting for a while then, unless you relocate. Don’t let the next chap interfere with your plans or your deposit.

The % share you are floating is pretty much what I got after 15 year marriage, 1 joint DC (plus 2 of mine from previous marriage), joint mortgage, joint deposit, joint everything.

IANAL but after dissecting dozens of friends’ settlements, what you propose sounds outlandish to me.

Really unfortunate that right now you can’t buy a property but you do have a secure job and a roof over your head that you can afford. Some women after divorce can’t even afford that so u wouldn’t necessarily think you’d be viewed as a disadvantaged party.

First divorce I took nothing at all, just to escape.

FWIW, I wish I’d bitten the bullet and relocated as a single mum to get (back) on the housing ladder much sooner. Consider it. You’re in a tough spot and I sympathise but you won’t get anything like that as a settlement.

Relocation isn't an option as I have to be nearby ish to family to assist with Ds around my shifts (nurse working 24hr shift pattern)

I'm sorry, but you're delusional if you think you'll be walking away with any where NEAR the amount you're hoping for.

Very short marriage, no children... I'd say you'll most likely get your £16,000 back and that's about it, perhaps half the equity in principal if you can prove you contributed towards work on the property, bills and so on.

I'm not sure where you pulled your original 100k+ figure from but it's way beyond grabby.

It's a short marriage. A judge wouldn't likely touch his pension at this point. And if, very, very big if. You'd only be entitled to a percentage of the years you were married. Not all of it.

You won't get half the house either. I'd ask for £20k-£30k and hope he doesn't lawyer up.

I understand that you want a secure home for you and your child I really do

However

It is not a husband of such a short period of time's responsibility to facilitate this at all and I don't think that's reasonable to expect so much out of such a short relationship when he contributed more and also had the house before.

I think you need to be more realistic about your expectations- people borrow over longer these days (30-40 years) and then just pay more as they earn more to bring the term down.

I'd speak to a solicitor and get some proper advice

You won't get that. It's a short marriage. In honesty, your limitations on earning are not his problem. He also isn't responsible for your child as he isn't a parent.

That's not his problem though. Not unless he stopped you working. And your DCs father and you are responsible for housing him.

A lot of misinformation on this thread. The time you cohabited from is considered in court, not from the date of the wedding. So its about 5-6 yrs, if over 5 yrs its not considered a 'short' marriage. The relationship is not childless, there is a child to consider and their needs and security would be a consideration. But unless you can actually take this to court you are limited by what your ex Dh will agree to. If you were the petitioner, that is good as you now control the timeline, do not proceed to the absolute until you are happy with the settlement. That is your only real power in this situation. Its hard to come up with a final figure but in the minimum I would aim for at least 50% of your joint increase in equity (house, pension, shares) since 2017, that doesn't mean you need to share the pension but I would ask for the CETV and offset that against other assets. He needs to complete form E so you know exactly what you are dealing with.

BTW, as I understand it (again IANAL), the thing about stepchildren being “children of the marriage” only really has much swaying effect when there is loads of money or a high earner.

Otherwise people would just get married and divorced all the time as a financial strategy!

Ok I don't want to come across as a dick honest I'm just asking as I honestly was under the impression when you marry someone then it's all in and it goes 50/50 from there. I don't think I have any hope of ever buying a house for us then really. Kicking myself for ever moving in with him in the first place

I’ve no experience of any of this but it seems it would be a good idea to get some advice of what would be reasonable to ask for from a solicitor. As if much more likely to go smoothly and you don’t want to ask for too much and put his back up.
good luck